Tell Me Tuesday: Getting Over Bad Body Days
Maybe funky undies would snap me out of a body funk. More likely: not looking at pics like this.
Lately, my calves have felt as thick as anacondas. And my stomach is showing signs of too many drumsticks–not the chicken kind, but the chocolate-covered kind. And then yesterday, during my longest bike ride in years (65 miles!), I spent way too much time fixating on the fact that my upper arms just jiggled and jiggled. And…and…and…
Even though I’ve got a tall frame and a healthy BMI, my body image is, more often than not, far from healthy. I hate that. I hate that after a great triathlon a couple weeks ago, I can still fixate on the fact that I can feel my stomach double over on itself. I hate that I still see myself as collection of body parts and not the cohesive, capable whole that I know it is. I hate that I doubt I will ever think of my body as perfect or even lovely.
I’ve graduated from high school and college, maintained a marriage, bought a house, given birth to two kids, run thousands of miles, but when I’m on a PMS, negative-self-talk tear, I can reduce my whole life to how far my thighs spread across a chair.
I try to avoid the downward spiral, of course, because it serves no.good.at.all. Here are some ways that work for me:
1. I stay off the scale, which is definitely tough. But if I can bypass it, I can avoid an emotional landmine. Because if I’m feeling large and bloated and that’s reflected in the scale, it pretty much validates my bad mood and my thoughts about myself. Embarrassing to admit, but there it is.
2. I try not to read People, US Weekly or any other celebrity-driven magazine. I used to get week-old copies from some generous neighbors and read them in bed, and I realized looking at pictures of celebs, so well-dressed and made-up–minus the Stars! They’re just like us! feature–just made me feel crappy about myself. So I rarely do it anymore. Unless I’m at the dentist office, where I’m going to feel crappy anyway.
3. I force myself to work out. Sure, the endorphins help, but really, it’s my secret trick to not eating as much junk during the day. I don’t know what chemical is released, but when I sweat in the morning, I swear sugar isn’t as appealing. I still eat it, of course, but not in the quantities and frequency I do when I’ve let my bad mood sink my motivation.
4. I avoid Fitspiration. Usually on Pinterest, these images are supposed to be motivating. The words usually are, but the bodies–the sleek, photo-shopped bodies–convey a totally other reality.
Exhibit A. Yes I want it. But my “it” will never look like that.
I should admit, though, that I do love the words-only messages. (Or rare pictures of more realistic women.)
A little snarky, but there’s truth in there.
5. I wish my last tip was some positive self-affirmation, mentally reframing my calves or arms, but I’m not mature enough for that. So I ignore myself–and tell myself that if anybody is watching or judging me, it’s their problem, not mine. I crank the tunes and just tune out.
So I feel like I’m standing in front of you naked, with all my jiggles and dimples and wrinkles exposed. I know I’m far from the only one who struggles with this, so I want to know: how do you deal with your bad body-image days?
Tags: body image
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I appreciated this today! Thanks!
I was SO thankful for this post Dimity, I don’t even have the words to describe how much I needed to hear someone else put this in their own words. The day I read this, was a day after I had been on my bike with hubs and babygirl in tow on another bike. I was feeling SO awful about myself, which is ridiculous as I’m a fit 41 year old mom in week 10 of half marathon training. But as I was riding, I was just so angry that I felt so badly about my self and said to my hubs and I quote “what’s the point of doing all this working out and running, and training if I’m not going to see any results. I eat well and run a lot and nothing is changing, in fact, I’m getting bigger! Bah! I should just keep eating well and can all this running crap, what’s the point?” I then proceeded to turn my bike towards home in a huff. and then I read this and almost cried.
Of course, it’s making a difference, the running, the training. I’m bigger in a different way… but a healthier way. And I just finished running 8 miles, which is virtually miraculous for this mother runner. Thanks Dimity.
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Thank you for the comment about pinterest. Honestly, I may be in the minority but I don’t work out in my bra and panties. Those images just frustrate me more than motivate me. I’ve stopped pinning fitness stuff because of it. Show me a real woman, at home, with her hair in a birds nest and a child using her as a bridge as she tries to do a pushup, covered in sweat then I will start pinning again.
I hear ya. At 39, I am a smaller size than I was through most of my teen years, and I celebrate that on one hand.On the other, through my entire 10 mile run today (which was a first for me!) I kept pulling my hydration belt and tugging on my shirt so my “roll” wouldn’t show. Sometimes I am out there running, thinking ‘yep, look at me lapping everyone on the couch’. And sometimes I just hope nobody sees all the jiggling!
Its a continual battle to stay focused on what my body can DO, not just what it looks like. (As it is a continual battle to stay on a healthy eating program, excercising, etc.)
We just have to keep fighting the good fight!
I remember that each part of me has been placed especially there by God for a purpose. He has counted the hairs on my head and each is precious to Him. He didn’t make my arms jiggly to tick me off or give me a bad self-image but to draw closer to Him. To realize that my self-worth is not based upon how I look but who He is and who I am in Him.
I don’t have a daughter to pass along my body issues to but I do have sons. I want them to understand that their mother is a capable woman who has ran several half marathons – that’s amazing! I want them to understand that what we put into our bodies help form those bodies.
And working out like another mother runner helps too.
I am strongly impacted by this post, and this has been something that is on my mind even more than usual this week. I want to read all of the responses and write a lot more, and I figure I should at least get a comment in as the time to write more may not materialize for a while. I really struggle with how to maintain the sweet spot of becoming fit and enjoying what my body can do, and not slipping over into obsessing about race times, pace, reps, pounds, inches, and jiggles. I am a psychologist in Denver and have seen a huge spike in people discussing body issues this week or so after the Aurora shootings. My theory is that our world feels extra out of control after this event, and being overly focused on our bodies, enhanced “naval gazing”, is a futile attempt at regaining control. It is a way to try to shut out the overstimulating world, but in a way that only does us more damage. When we are so focused on the minutia of our bodies, we miss out on our beauty and capabilities, and that of the wonderful folks and world around us. I stick with running and working out because it renews my faith in myself and the universe, and I have to work just as hard to hold onto those feelings. There is a light and a shadow to everything, and it takes a lot of heart and muscle to resist the gravitational pull of the shadow. Thanks for providing a place for me to blurt this out.