A tongue-in-cheek list with undercurrents of truth about a topic that doesn’t get discussed much: menopause. Input garnered from many mother runners, including Amy, who had a hysterectomy at age 40, Ellison, who is a speedy runner in her mid-50s, and some gals on our Facebook page.
10. You no longer have to stash feminine products in your iPhone arm band, water belt, or shorts pocket.
9. Body hair grows more slowly, meaning legs and pits stay sleeker longer.
8. Running in a sudden heat wave doesn’t faze you: Hot flashes mean you’re already acclimated. What’s more: Amy firmly believes, “that when you hot flash, you burn calories. So when you hot flash while running, it’s double points! Boom diggity!”
7. Your sleep is so craptastic post-menopausally, points out another Amy, you might as well head out on that pre-dawn run.
6. Menopause often means a decreased interest in sex, but as Jennifer, who went through The Change at 38, points out: Running counteracts low libido. “Hooray for running!” she wrote on our Facebook page.
5. Fewer stops at the port-a-potty. As original Amy tells it, “Running during the monthly volcano of doom caused me to have to hit the restroom to, ahem, drop the deuce a lot. Like a dog marking its territory, every restroom I passed I’d have to ‘go.’ Now, my only poop visits are the pre-race deposits, which really saves on time--and aggravation.”
4. Menopausal rages fuels speedwork, helping you run hard and fast.
3. Belly fat settles around your middle, so capris and skirts without a drawstring don't slip southward when you're in motion.
2. No more screaming, wincing, and dancing around the room as you pull a tight running bra over pre-menstrual boobs, says Ellison.
1. You’re guaranteed Aunt Flo won’t visit on race day!