July 2012

Why I Run: Kirsten Poile

Kirsten after a Singapore half-marathon earlier this year.

An American mom of one who lives with her Irish husband in London (they just moved there from Singapore!), Kirsten Poile replaced antidepressants with running and racing—and has never felt stronger both mentally and physically.

I run for my physical and mental health. I run to set a good example for my son. And I run to get some time to myself and to clear my head.

I have a history of depression and anxiety—a long history involving years of therapy (both group and individual), medication, and even a short hospitalization. Medication and therapy worked really well for me, but when my husband and I were planning our family, I didn’t want to be on medication while pregnant. After 10 years of being on psycho-pharmaceuticals, this was a bit daunting.  So I gradually came off the medication with the support of therapy (sometimes twice weekly) and we became pregnant. And then we moved to Singapore.

Moving to the other side of the world is hard. Moving when 30 weeks pregnant is very hard. Moving with an anxiety and depressive disorder, leaving behind your 15-year profession to become a stay-at-home mom in a different culture is my recipe for disaster.

After giving birth to my son, I went through a pretty difficult period. It’s hard to tease out how much of it was the normal post-baby craziness and how much of it was my own internal craziness. So I tried going to therapy. We even tried couples therapy. I toyed with going back on antidepressants, but I figured I had come this far that medication would feel like going backwards. And then I started running.

My weight has always been an issue and I have exercised on and off for years. I’ve never really been able to maintain it (my weight or the exercise). I think this is because the focus has always been on trying to get thin. Now, my focus is staying sane and that makes a huge difference.

Being in a foreign country away from family without any help and with a husband working long hours and completing his MBA, I didn’t have much time for the gym. So I went for walks. And gradually as I got stronger, my legs felt like running, so it became a morning routine my son and I would do: run a couple miles and then let him out of the jogging stroller to run around himself.

I didn’t realize how much of an impact running had on my mental health until I had to take a break from it after minor surgery. I felt sluggish, grouchy and negative all the time. It took a few weeks to turn that around, but once I was running regularly again, I could see the difference. Maintaining my mental health without medication is a huge motivator. Training for races forces me to keep up with that consistency on my most negative days.

Since starting to run in Singapore, I have run one 5K, two 10Ks, a 12K, and three half-marathons. I have lost more than 50 pounds and my mental health has greatly improved. My last half-marathon was my first race when I truly felt like a runner.  My pace is pretty slow, especially in this Singapore humidity, but I am strong. When everyone else started slowing down at the halfway point, I kept going. I took seven minutes off my personal best and completed the race with negative splits. It was the first time I really felt worthy of the label “runner.”

Why I Run: Ursula Gorham Oscilowski

Ursula, post-race, with her precious kids.

I generally tell people I run because it clears my head. While true, that’s not the whole story: I also run as a quiet tribute to two people who have had an enormous impact on my life.

The first person is Dr. Rick Montz, an amazing gyn-oncologist who treated me when I was diagnosed with a very slow growing form of ovarian cancer. At my first follow-up, when I was whining about the insanity of early menopause, he simply said, “You will probably never go back to feeling like you used to. Your body has been through a lot, and you have to accept that. It may take time but you will find a new ‘normal.’” During visits over the next couple of years, I learned about Dr. Montz’s love of running and how it helped him get away from the incredible stresses that he faced at work. In November 2002, I was shocked to learn Dr. Montz had died of a heart attack while out for an evening run.

Two years later, I gave birth to boy-girl twins at 29 weeks, under chaotic circumstances. Our daughter was stillborn. We had learned a few weeks before that she had passed but there are no words to describe the experience of saying goodbye to the daughter I never really had the chance to know while, at the same time, welcoming a tiny son, who was fighting to stay in this world. I am happy to say we won that fight, and our son is now a healthy and happy 8-year-old. During that time, I struggled with a number of problems related to my previous surgeries, ranging from scar tissue to pelvic congestion. I dealt with chronic pain on a daily basis and, as anyone who has been in the situation can attest, the emotional toll it takes is gut-wrenching. Eventually, I opted to have a hysterectomy. Six weeks post-surgery, I jumped (okay, hobbled) onto the treadmill and began what has been one of the most remarkable journeys of my life.

I am not a speedy runner. My unproven theory, with absolutely no supporting evidence, is that my body is simply devoid of fast-twitch fibers. But, over the past two years, I have used running to challenge myself and to chip away at the insecurity (and, at times, self-loathing), that I felt while living with chronic pain. Recently, I ran a 5K in just over 30 minutes, something that I have never. ever. done. I have completed two half-marathons, and I am currently eyeing a fall marathon. Ultimately, running has allowed me to come to terms with my body in a profound way: After years of focusing on what my body couldn’t do, I am continually amazed at what it can do when I give it the chance.

When I run, I often think about what Dr. Montz said about accepting the body I have now. I wish I could tell him how I have reached a level of acceptance I didn’t think possible that day in his office, when all I could think about was everything that had been taken from me. I think it would have made him happy to know that running has become my outlet and, depending on the day, the only thing that keeps me sane.

But, more than anything when I start faltering during a run, I think of my daughter. I never once had the chance to see her run, yet somehow when I’m running, I feel closer to her than ever.

 

Why I Run: Andrea Hallberg

Andrea, a Chicago-born, Seattle-living mother runner, tweets here and blogs here.

I’m so lucky to have such inspirational women in my family, the most important and obvious one being my mom.

Old fave photo of us in the ancient city of Ephesus, Turkey. (She’s also inspired my love of travel.)

For as long as I can remember, she has been involved in some sort of exercise: most often tennis.

Mom off to play tennis with our neighbor friend, circa 1976.

I’m sure she’d rather not divulge her age, but suffice it to say that she could run in my aunt’s age group, and she still gets out almost daily to do some form of exercise.

My aunt and her running buddies who placed in the top three of their 70+ age group at their favorite annual 5K? And yes, there were more than three runners in their age group.

My mom was diagnosed in February of 2011 with non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma when a tumor was found in her brain. After brain surgery, months of inpatient chemotherapy, followed up by radiation, she was cancer free by that May. In other words, she won.

Her active lifestyle and attention to her health is without a doubt why she was able to handle the aggressive treatment and come out of it swinging. She’s back out with her racket, hitting against a wall, for now.

She’s inspired me to get out there and be active my whole life.  I started swimming competitively at age seven and continued through high school.  Then I found running in college; it was a way to stay active—and keep the Freshman 15 at bay.

I can barely recall times when my mom would talk negatively about her body when I was growing up. Maybe that’s because she never really had much to complain about. Regardless, I feel like I’ve been given this gift of not being as preoccupied with how I look as much as with how healthy I am.

Generation one and two of strong women.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no saint; I want to fit into nice jeans and I certainly went through periods of loooow self-esteem (the most notable times being the late puberty years and those lovely postpartum months). But, my body image a nagging pervasive thing that I know a lot of women can suffer from. I just hope I can instill this same self-acceptance in my kids, especially my daughter.

Generation two and three of strong women.

So why do I run?  I run because that’s the example that has been set for me. I’ve never not exercised in my life.

I’m sure that there people who think of the constantly exercising, stay-at-home mom as the narcissistic type, but that is so very, very far from the truth. Running makes me feel healthy, sane, and strong, which makes for handy armor when dealing with two kids under five years of age. I also run because I’m slightly anal retentive; I love to follow a training schedule and set goals. One of the (many) things I love about race day are kids’ dashes that give my kids that same sense of accomplishment that I get when crossing a finish line.

Another strong, healthy finish.

Hopefully they will carry memories of watching me run as they go through life, as I have carried memories of my mom. Or better yet, I hope that  running keeps me around long enough for them to watch me win my 70+ age group.

 

 

 

Why I Run: Jennifer Bressette

Jennifer, wearing the red bandana, with her running group Team Berry after finishing her first half marathon, the Berry College Half Marathon in Rome,Ga. in 2011.

Jennifer Bressette is one busy Mother Runner. This mom of four (two tweens and two teens!) tackled running—she started with a 5K and soon racked up half marathons—just as she’s taken on life’s numerous challenges. This Fourth of July she ran the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta, the nation’s largest 10K. She recently registered for her first marathon, the Country Music Marathon in Nashville in April 2013.

I run b­­ecause I can. When I was 20, I had half my right foot amputated as a result of infection.  This left my leg with just a stump below my right ankle. The day I was able to put pressure on my foot I looked straight ahead and slowly put one foot in front of the other. I kept walking into my wonderful life graduating from college, graduate school, and marrying the love of my life.

Fast forward 12 years. I am now the adoptive mom of four children under five years old, three who arrived in the same year. I am overwhelmed.  I had always been successful in school and went back to graduate school obtaining a Master of Education degree to conserve brain cells. My children’s diagnoses started coming in. One was micro cephalic, one asthmatic requiring around the clock breathing treatments, and one ADHD. I kept putting one foot in front of the other.

I started teaching full time and was as stressed as any first-year teacher and mother of four could be. I gained quite a bit of weight. A gym had advertised its boot camp so I figured, why not? I have challenged my brain; I should challenge my body. During the boot camp I decided to sign up for a 5K to benefit the college my husband teaches at. It was tough. I was in awe of the half marathoners at the event.  Over the next several years I did three more 5Ks. Meanwhile, more diagnoses come in with regard to my children: autism, mood disorder, learning disabilities. I was in a very gray place.

Jennifer and her family: Andrew (“my fabulous cowbell ringing hubby”); Drew, 13; Jacob, 10; Lili, 11; and Elizabeth, 14.

I was laid off from my teaching job and that place went black. I decided I was going to run the half marathon in my town. It gave me a reason to get up and dressed in the morning. I was petrified. I was not a runner! I found a group of runners and was tickled when I saw they had a 12-minute mile pace group. I could do that! My mantra became “13.1 miles one and one half feet.”

I completed my first half! If I could do that, I could certainly handle any of the challenges that my wonderful, chaotic, blessed life brings me. I have since found another job I love: working with the severe and profoundly handicapped. I’ve also completed four more 5Ks, and two more half marathons. I keep a running log. I am planning races for the rest of 2012, including a variety of 5Ks, the Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta (10K), and the Chickamauga half marathon.

When life with two teens and two tweens gets crazy, I lace up. I run because I can.

 

Why I Run: Cynthia Ibarra

For Cynthia Ibarra, and others involved in the organization Wear Blue: Run to Remember, running is a way to honor the service and sacrifice of U.S. military men and women. We thought it especially fitting to share her story this Independence Day. You can read Cynthia’s blog here

Cynthia running the Seattle Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon.

In July of 2009, I was faced with what felt like too much free time on my hands. My fiancé was deployed at the time. With little communication at the beginning of the deployment, all I wanted to do was search the news for anything about his unit. I knew that wasn’t good, so I held myself back. Still, every time my cell phone rang, I hoped it was him. I was always signed in to instant chat hoping he would get to log in that day. I could occupy myself during the day with work and my son, but once he was asleep I had nothing but time to worry.

In August 2009, a month after his unit deployed, they had their first casualty. I waited for a week for his call to say he was OK. One week later, he called to say his Company Commander (CPT) and three of his Soldiers were killed by an IED (improvised explosive device). John Hallett, his CPT, was one of my fiancé’s best friends. I was at work when I got the call, and was in tears all day. All I could think about was the families of the soldiers and CPT. Hallett’s family especially. He had two small boys and a daughter that was born three weeks before his death. He didn’t get to meet or hold her.

Cynthia with son Izaiah and their dog Dash during a 5-mile hike.

I knew that his unit would still be faced with more death and injuries. I noticed that running helped me de-stress. Even though I was just running a couple of miles a week, I started to think about possibly running a half marathon. So I made that my goal for 2010. I had to find ways squeeze in my runs since I worked full time, and had to take care of my son, who was eight years old at the time. Sometimes I would wake up at 5:30 a.m. to squeeze in my runs before work on the treadmill or I would run right after work but before I picked up him up from the Boys and Girls club.

Running and reflecting go hand in hand for Cynthia.

For my long runs during the weekends I would take my son to the park and run laps around the park. Once my long run distance started to increase, I would run along side him as he rode his bike. As my runs started to increase over 10 miles my fiancé’s brother would watch him for me. I was so grateful for the support his family gave me while he was deployed; my family was in Idaho and we were stationed in Washington State.

In May 2010 my fiancé returned from deployment and got to watch me run my first half marathon a month later. It was definitely one of the best days of my life. I knew how hard I worked to get to that point and how many miles I had logged. He got to see me cross the finish line.

In February 2010, CPT Hallett’s wife started a running group called Wear Blue: Run to Remember. Their mission is to create a living memorial to honor the service and sacrifice of the American Military. I had the honor of wearing the blue shirt with the names of the 41 Soldiers killed from their deployment on the back for my first marathon, Portland Marathon on 10/10/10.

Now, living back in Idaho, I wear the blue shirt often. It’s my way to honor their families and to show them that their loved ones are not forgotten. Last year I ran Seattle Rock’n’ Roll marathon with Wear Blue Run to Remember and plan to run the marathon with them this year.

I run now to remember and honor the soldiers that gave their lives.

The Wear Blue: Run to Remember group at this year’s Seattle Rock & Roll marathon.

 

Why I Run: Christy Estep Davis

Christy rockin’ her first half marathon last October.

I remember so vividly meeting Christy Estep Davis, a mother of toddler boy-girl twins, at the Girlfriends’ Half  expo, the second time we had met at a race. She walked up to the table, and she started to cry before she could get out any words. Despite my stern exterior, I cry easily, so my own waterworks started flowing as I immediately went over to embrace her. As you’ll read, Christy had been through the ringer the past few years—but now she’s training for a marathon. ~ SBS

After years of battling unexplained infertility, my husband and I finally decided to try IVF. We couldn’t have felt more happy or blessed than when we found out we were having boy/girl twins. Our little ones made their shining debut into this world 6 weeks early, but after a month in the hospital, we were finally home with no complications.

For years during the fertility treatments, I had felt that my body had not been my own; I was okay with that. My hormones were all over the place. I had put on 30 to 35 pounds before I even got pregnant, then another 45 with my pregnancy. So finally when my twins were three months old, I was more than ready to regain control of my body and feel comfortable in my own skin. That was December, and I signed up for a 5K in March.

I’m not going to sugarcoat how I felt the first time I ran on the treadmill: I thought my vagina was going to collapse and all of my lady-parts were going to fall out. It wasn’t pretty, and I never wanted to do it again. But I did it again…and again…and again. Before I knew it, it was February, and I was changing my race event from 5K to 8K. I was pumped (and I rocked that 8K in 48 minutes, by the way.)

Later that spring, I continued to run shorter races, but didn’t know whether or not I wanted to progress beyond that point. I had two cherub-faced infants to tend to, and life was finally starting to feel somewhat normal. A family member had recommended Run Like a Mother to me after we did a 5K over Memorial weekend, where she quickly run to the booth at the expo eager to meet Sarah Bowen Shea. I got a copy of the book the next week, and I really did plan on reading it…soon…eventually when my kids were not so much work…when I got a vacation…maybe in the bathroom…you know how that goes. (Insert sheepish grin here!)

Christy and her family after the Trail of Hope walk/run.

Then everything changed: My whole world was turned upside down when my husband (who was just about to turn 29) was diagnosed with stage II Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in early June of last year. I was terrified, devastated, and beside myself. We had two nine-month-old babies. Bad news never has good timing, but this was horrible. I soon realized I needed to pull my business together. He was set to have at least six months of chemotherapy, followed by radiation. I had to figure out a way to be by his side, take care of my children, and not lose my own mind. So I signed up for my first half-marathon and threw myself into my training.

People thought I was truly crazy. On a regular basis, people asked: “Honey, are you sure this is the best time for that?” The truth is I had never been surer of anything in my life. I read RLAM over a three-day period and clung to every word during the following months. I used the support of the “tribe” on Facebook to whine to, brag to, cry to, and just make me laugh when I really needed it. I became a runner–a hardcore badass mother runner with baby twins and a husband with cancer.

I ran the race last October in 2:05, which I’m super proud of as my first half-marathon time, but anxious now to get it under that darn two-hour mark. I got to meet SBS again, but this time I could hardly talk to her because I couldn’t stop crying. I felt like such a blubbering idiot–I had so much to say, but I was just so overcome with gratitude and emotion. Running had been my saving grace and these women, this community was such a huge part of that journey, and words simply could not express how thankful I was.

I’m a lifer: I am now training to run the Portland Marathon this fall! We live in eastern Oregon, where the weather is harsh and the resources are scarce. I had so many women, especially so many mothers, asking me about running, and I wanted to create a platform of support for women here. So I started a running club in my community, Harney County Mother Runners. We have more than 50 members, are doing group runs every Saturday, and have teams created for three different races already this summer. I am in awe of these ladies. It is hard to try something new, but we women, we kick ass, truly.

My husband is in remission now, and our twins are almost two. We are trying to find our new normal, but a huge part of our family’s routine is making sure mama gets her runs in. When people ask me how long or how far I plan on running, my only response is, “as long and as far as I can.” I plan on pushing my own limitations until there is no push left in me–and bringing along anyone who is willing for the ride.

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