Running Resolutions: This Year I Will…
Annnnnd, we’re back–raring to go for the New Year! On Monday, January 4, we unveil our brand new Challenge website, called Train Like a Mother Club. Whether you’re signing up for your first 5K, doubling down for a 10K, have your eye on a half-marathon, or taking on the whole enchilada of a marathon, the new website has what you need to get to the starting line healthy and well trained–and across the finish line with a smile on your face. Not looking to race? The site has your back with a 5-week keep-moving plan.
But to keep your juices flowing between now and Monday, we have brought back our This Year I Will…badges. We’re not much for resolutions around AMR: too formal and rigid. Instead, we like to put forth our best intentions. More of a warm hug than a bear hold. 
Now you’re up, friend.
We want you create your own intention(s) for 2016. Can be minor, can be major, can be a single item, can be a list. The most important thing thing is list whatever feels right and do-able to you right now as you contemplate the upcoming year. While we want you to take a few steps outside of your comfort zone (e.g. Dimity doing her first ultra!), keep one foot grounded in reality. We want you to stay healthy and motivated beyond, oh, the first two weeks of January.
Fill in the blank This Year I Will… (below) with your 2016 goal(s) in words. Decorate it if you want with photos, virtual stickers, whatnot. (Dimity uses picmonkey.com, a free picture-editing/collage-making app. Its Overlay feature lets you put in your own pictures.)
If pulling the above jpg onto your desktop isn’t working for you, you can also access the template as a PDF through this link.
Once you’re happy with your creation, we’d love for you to share your creation with the world, to help keep you accountable. (For the sake of social media, we’re calling them #AMRresolutions.) Here are a few options:
1. Share on our Facebook page with the hashtag #AMRresolutions.
2. Tweet it to us @TheMotherRunner with the hashtag #AMRresolutions.
3. Instragram it, giving us a head’s up by using @themotherrunner and use the hashtag #AMRresolutions.
Next Tuesday, we’ll be sharing a few more of these beauties from a few other gals on Team AMR.
Here’s to many happy, healthy, strong miles to all in 2016!
Peace. Joy. Sweat.
Wishing you many happy miles and a sweaty new year. (Wait: is that TMI?)
We’re going to take a short break from social media and the like to celebrate Christmas with our perfectly behaved children. We’ll be back on December 30 with a call for your goals for 2016, so in case you find some empty time on your hands and need something to do, feel free to start your list…
Thanks for another amazing year, #motherrunners. We are so grateful for each and every one of you in this tribe.
xo—The AMR Team
#AMRinSaucony: On Making Snowmen + Saying Goodbye
Winter is the season of slowing down. Where I live in Michigan, winter means loads of snow, which means driving more slowly unless you want to end up in the ditch or worse.
More accurately, the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. (Photo Source)
My winter running is rarely ever synonymous with speed. As a runner firmly embedded in the back of the middle of the pack, when I pull on my Sauconys and spikes from November through March, it is simply to maintain a smattering of fitness and keep from losing my mind. I won’t pretend that winter is my favorite season in which to run, because it’s not, but the hardest part is usually just getting out the door in the appropriate attire. Once I’m out, I’m good. Okay, maybe it takes a few blocks to convince myself that it’s a good idea. But just like any other time of year, I rarely regret a run once it’s done.
Did you think I could get through a post without telling you about my new favorite Saucony gear? May I introduce you to the Nomad Jacket. Warm enough for winter, roomy enough for layering, and a double zipper for venting! I want one on all my clothes. Also: Kahtoola NanoSpikes have kept me from falling on my you know what on icy roads.
To give you an idea of where I’m at, I can’t remember the last day I ran this week. I think it was a Tuesday. I’m typing this on a Saturday, so you can understand that I’m a little twitchy. But the weather has been just lousy enough and my bad leg has felt just hurt-y enough that I’ve given into The R Word (Rest), with additional justification that there is so. much. to do. for the upcoming holiday (you know which one) that it feels like every minute matters. My stats look like this:
- Number of presents wrapped: 0
- Number of Holiday decorations put up: 1 sad excuse (Olaf the Snowman) drying on the kitchen table after I had to run him through the wash after one of the dogs Let It Go on his face.
- Number of “Breakfast with Santa” missed: 1. Yes, total parent #fail on my behalf
- Number of donuts I bought at the bakery in an attempt to make up for it to my daughter: 2 (and a breakfast pastry)
- Number of cookies baked: Okay – I’m actually doing great in this department, only because I am all about eating my feelings. They taste like sugar cookies and russian tea cakes, if you were wondering.
If you step back from your computer monitor/phone and stare long enough, you might actually see the AMR shoes appear on this cookie. A glass of wine might also help bring it into focus, though wine did not help me in decorating. Clearly.
I don’t know why I’m struggling so hard this season. Maybe it’s because I’ve been staying up too late trying to catch up on past seasons of Game of Thrones, or chasing around my one year old who’s now walking, or more accurately, vaulting herself into seemingly every sharp surface in our house. Or maybe it’s just the general malaise I usually experience during the early winter.
Clara is now 13 months old. I blinked, and here we are.
While not completely dark, it’s a time when emotions get stirred and bubble up when I’m least expecting it. Our new normal, which isn’t really so new anymore, is a holiday season without my mother in law, who passed away in 2010. Something will prompt a memory: a little statue or picture of a chicken (she loved them) or remembering that she would have been 76 years old this Dec 24th (a Christmas baby!) or that she would have had so much fun with the two youngest grandchildren and new great-grandson she never met.
Sophie and her new nephew. Yeah, all the feels right here.
Last Thursday during a meeting at the university where I work, we had a special presentation by a local Life Coach. She talked about winter. About slowing down. Getting back in the driver’s seat of our lives and taking control, but not in the way that I would have expected. Instead of trying to do more – master multitasking, using technology to improve our lives – which is my usual M.O., she talked about stepping away from the devices. Unplugging to recharge. Taking time to “build a snowman” with our kids, even if it means not getting something else done.
It was one of those moments when I had to furiously scribble down notes just because I desperately didn’t want those nuggets to disappear into that place in my brain where it seems all the important things go to die. I’m the one who’s trying to squeeze every minute out of the day, only to end up completely frustrated that the Really Important Thing I set out to do isn’t done.
I am never the one who stops to build a snowman.
I want to get on board with this. Really. I want to stop with all the rushing. Spending so much time being “busy” that I don’t actually get anything done. Take Christmas: I want to stop being overwhelmed when I think of the myriad things that need to be done before Wednesday – maybe even say no to a few things. Know that my kids would rather have me sitting with them just being present than if I find that perfect Christmas craft idea on Pinterest.
Which leads me to think, since this is a running web site after all, how can I apply this to my running?
When I started this #AMRinSaucony project almost a year ago, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Sarah and Dimity were so great about everything. They left it entirely open. They didn’t force me in any direction or toward any particular goal. I tried to make my strong-finding journey as organic as possible. I signed up for the things that I wanted – things that seemed reasonable and felt right. I had one rule: I wanted everything to be fun. I didn’t want to get too hung up on paces or PRs. Guys, I had so much fun. Really. Even when things didn’t go exactly like I wanted *cough* DNF *cough*.
As much as I don’t want this project to end, I knew this day was coming. I know it’s time to start thinking to 2016 and beyond.
So where do I go from here? This is the eternal question, I think. Here’s what I know. I want my running to be more than a pace or a stack of medals or drawer full of t-shirts. And while those are all things that are a part of what I do and sometimes why I do it, I know that I run because of one simple thing: I love it. Running brings joy to my life and a smile to my face. The adrenaline rush fills my cup and makes me more appreciative of the life I have and who’s in it. Because in the end, I am a runner but more importantly, I am a mother. I want my running to help me be the mom I need to be – and want to be – for my family.
My kids know that Mommy runs, but in the end, they don’t care if I ever run another race, or whether I nailed that tempo run or finished that ultra. What my kids remember is the time I spend with them or if I’m constantly telling them I’m too busy because the house is a mess or I need to get dinner on the table. I want my kids to look back on these years and remember the times I did stop and build that snowman in the front yard. I will be easier on myself, and accept that it’s okay to take a break. Rest. Resting is okay. Slowing down is okay (and even good for me). I will just try to do my best to not rest directly at the table with all the Christmas cookies.
I want to thank you all for everything this year. I had the opportunity to meet so many cool people and make so many new friends. Thank you for the comments, the emails, the social media messages, and the meetups! Many thanks to Saucony; they made me feel like a running rockstar with the sweet gear. Team AMR, it was my honor and a privilege to spill my guts here every month; Dimity and Sarah, writing for you was a #lifegoal. Truly. I can’t imagine my life without this tribe.
I don’t really want this to be goodbye, so I won’t say it. Thank you for sharing this leg of my journey. Let’s keep finding our strong together!
#190: Advice for Running in Inclement Weather
Dimity and her stylish, talented husband, Grant. While Grant’s fancy pants won’t work for winter running, they were perfect for a holiday party.
Sarah and Dimity take shelter from pouring rain (Sarah) and snow and wind (Dimity) to share advice and anecdotes about running in bad weather. Dimity admits she’s more likely to hit the treadmill than she used to be, while Sarah heads outdoors almost no matter what. The mother runners discuss how to dress for running success, including specific gear choices like Saucony Ulti-Mitt and Nomad Jacket. Dimity makes a pitch for snowshoe running and offers advice on how to stay upright on icy conditions. Find out what was Dimity’s “running start” for the holidays, and how the Vulcan greeting figures into this winter-weather conversation.
Dry Martini: Bah
This is the time of year when all I want to do is climb into my bed, pull the covers up, and not come out again until all of this holiday nonsense is done.
Some of this stems from my own tendency toward depression, which seems to be an unofficial theme on the AMR blog this week. It’s not something I talk about much, mostly because depression, while crippling, is also profoundly boring. There are only so many ways to express the bleak emptiness, you know? While Morrissey made a great career of it, I lack his stamina. And incredible bone structure.
So sad, our Morrissey.
It’s also something I don’t talk about much because running and all of the attendant life changes that have come with it have really taken the edge off. Mostly, the black dog only pokes his nose in every now and again, just to see if I have any snacks for him. Mostly, I don’t.
Except around the end-of-year holidays. The perma-dark that settles in during November doesn’t help, mind. But what really makes me want to take to my bed are the obligatory events that I have to schlep myself and my kids to, which get piled on to the obligatory festivities that I’m responsible for arranging, which then get piled on to all of the actual work that I have to get done before everyone scampers out of their respective offices for the holiday.
But even that’s not so bad, really. I’m good at scheduling and stage managing — and I know that the kids appreciate it, even if they don’t articulate it. No, what gets me are the obligatory emotions that I’m supposed to feel. I can’t muster any real … anything … about this time of year. About the best I can do is feel faint uplift when I see the outdoor lights that make the dark mornings and afternoons a little less so.
In short, I’m not the one you ought to go to for any holly or jolly. My belly, however, does jiggle like a bowl full of jelly so I have that working for me. I also have been through this particular low spot enough times to know that it will pass.
It helps, too, that my running seems to be working for me, even if the season isn’t. While we had one super cold week in November, the rest of that month through now has been unsettlingly warm. Until the other shoe drops, which I have zero doubt that it will, I’ve set out most mornings in a long sleeved top and capris. It’s like a Christmas miracle.
I’ve been taking the dog on short hikes on Sunday afternoons and calling it cross-training. See if you can spot her.
Last week, Coach wanted me to tackle a three mile run with the middle mile at tempo. I did what I usually do, which was take a few moments during the previous 48-hours to mutter to myself that there’s no possible way that I could run a 10:30 mile because I am old and slow. Then I’d promptly remind myself that I can now do lots of things that I didn’t think I could do and to put on my big girl Balegas and get over myself already. Everyone has these sorts of internal conversations, right?
Not only did I manage to bust out a tempo-mile during the early, fog-drenched dark, that tempo mile only took 9:54 and is, to date, the only time I’ve run a sub-ten minute mile. Admittedly, I couldn’t have kept that up for even another half-lap around the track but that feeling of being a total badass will certainly get me though any number of less invigorating runs.
Like my weekend ten miler with the middle five at race pace. The first four miles were great. After mile 4, I slowed down to Gu (Big Apple, for those scoring at home) and never could get my pace all the way back to my assigned 11:22 RP. Through sheer force of will I wrangled the last three in the under-12 range but it built a lot of stubbornness and not a small amount of swearing. By the time I made it home, I was just a husk of a mother runner, one who desperately needed a shower and a nap.
Ten. And not one step more.
I did get the shower, at least, because the Teen equally desperately needed to go to our local (very tiny) mall, right at the time when it would be the most crowded with holiday shoppers. In hindsight, skipping the shower might have given us more room to maneuver in the stores. I’ll make a note. I never did get my nap, however.
Speaking of said Teen, one of my most favorite parts of my early morning runs (and is one of the reasons why the running has been feeling great despite my inability to embrace the season) is that we frequently pass each other on the sidewalk. She’s walking up to the high school and I’m running down from its track. She always sticks her hand out for an intentionally half-hearted hi-five and I always give her one while shouting some kind of corny motherly advice like “make good choices” or “learn lots” as I run past. It’s become our little ritual and it’s enough.
Are you feeling the yuletide joy? Or would you like to join me in bed?
Running away from Depression—and Toward Life
Paula and Dan: Before and After.
As I hit Costco last Friday morning–seriously, that place is never not busy, especially this time of year—I remembered meeting Paula there a few years ago, and I wanted to dig up her post from 2012 because her transformation of body, mind and spirit reminds us all that it’s never too late to make a change.
This August, I was doing a Sunday morning run at Costco and was recognized in the produce section. The woman was wearing running clothes and that unmistakable, post-race grin. Turns out, she had just set a PR in a 5K, and had recently become a runner. We had a nice chat about running and how to use up five avocados before they go bad, and we went on our respective ways.
Later, she emailed us to continue the conversation.
I really appreciate your honesty in your blog about your ups and downs, your real-life challenges with “doing it all,” and especially with your depression. I struggle with depression, too. I’ve had more bad years than good years, and it can so totally suck sometimes. When I started running a year ago, and 50 pounds ago, I was on tons of meds. The only time I was happy was when I was in bed sleeping. I found your blog, saw that you try to manage your depression with running, and decided that I wanted to do that, too.
I wanted to hear more—and knew her story would resonate deeply—so I asked her to answer some questions. Warning: It’s a long post, but I didn’t want to cut what I feel are important details. (Example A: running can help depression, but it doesn’t cure it.)
What I love is she finally decided enough was enough, and she had to make a change–and her change is ricocheting through her daughter. Although it can be hard to believe at times, we all have that power within us. But enough from me: Let’s hear from Paula, a badass mother runner if I ever knew one.
Dimity: What prompted you to finally start running? Was it one light bulb moment/comment/thought or were you just sick of yourself? (Sounds harsh, but I think you know what I mean.)
Paula: I started running in August 2011, I was 44. I had hit rock bottom with my health, and I was pretty sick of myself. I was already on many meds and my doctor called me one day and said that some blood work revealed that I had a fatty liver. He wanted me to get some biopsies and go on some more meds. It completely freaked me out. I was sick and tired of feeling like crap all the time. That day, feeling completely desperate, instead of driving to the lab for blood work. I drove to my gym and hired a personal trainer and told him I wanted to start running. That day changed my life.
“”I never thought that being a sweaty mess could make me feel so good.” Might be the best line ever on another mother runner.
D: Do you remember your first run?
P: I started running/walking at first, and I hated, hated, hated it. I wanted to be a runner, but didn’t think I could do it. But my trainer believed in me, wouldn’t let me off the hook, and made me run (and so I hated him for a while, too). I gradually increased the minutes, started getting used to it, and finally didn’t hate it as much. I gradually worked up to 45 minutes, and in December ran my very first 5K. That was completely amazing. By then I was hooked.
D: So you felt like a runner then?
P: My most favorite run EVER was Christmas Day, 2011. My husband, Dan, and I decided to go for a run about midday. It was so cold, but we bundled up and headed out. We did a loop that ended up being 5 miles. I was able to do that whole loop without walking. I was shocked and elated. By the time we got home, I could hardly breathe because I was all snotty and teary because I actually ran that whole loop. Finally, I felt like a runner.
D: Beyond depression, what were your health issues you treating with meds, pre-running?
P: I was on two high doses of antidepressants/anxiety meds. I was on meds for high cholesterol. Earlier in the year I had been treated for Barrett’s esophagus, which is where your esophagus gradually narrows with scar tissues and makes swallowing food very difficult. (It’s generally caused by acid reflux, which I had no idea I had.) I’d had a procedure to take care of it, but was taking meds for that and was told I would have to take them for the rest of my life. Since I’ve changed my eating and lost all this weight ,I’m no longer taking meds for that and have not had any problems.
I’m now off of all the meds except one small one for depression. My cholesterol and blood pressure are totally normal. My liver is normal. My esophagus has healed and is completely normal. I rarely have migraines any more. I’ve lost 60 pounds so I don’t hurt all over any more. It’s amazing.
Paula and Dan at the finish of Denver Rock ‘N’ Roll Half. Paula has a trail half-marathon lined up for next week, and a marathon in the spring. “Never would’ve thought I could do this.”
D: How do you think running helps your depression?
P: Running has helped me both physically and mentally. Physically, it’s given me an outlet for dealing with my stress. No matter how crappy I feel before I go running, I always feel better after a run. I never thought that being a sweaty mess could make me feel so good. I have more energy, so I’m more active.
But the mental changes have been the most life changing. Mentally, I’m in a better place than I have been for years and years. I feel better about myself, I believe in myself, and I feel strong. Somewhere along the line of growing up, becoming a mom, working, etc. I kind of lost myself. I had no self confidence and didn’t believe that I could be any different.
But I’ve learned that I can improve myself, I can do hard things and I can be the person that I’ve always wanted to be. It’s been totally empowering. I am strong enough, both physically and mentally, to do whatever I want to do. I’ve never in my life felt strong. But I do now.
Just yesterday I was having a rough day. After work all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and eat potato chips. Then I thought to myself, “don’t think, just GO!” So I pulled on my clothes and shoes and went. I ended up doing a 10-mile loop that I’ve done often. On that loop is a very big hill. I’ve not been able to go all the way up it on any of my runs so far without walking.
Yesterday I told myself that I.can.do.this. So I (slowly) ran the whole way up. And when I got to the top I turned around and looked down at that big freaking hill and gave myself a big old hoo-rah because of my bad-ass-ness! That pulled me out of my funk and turned my day around. It was awesome!
I still have tough days. For sure. But I try to not let myself panic, because I know that it won’t last. I try to get a run (or a nap) in or a date with my husband. It’s OK to have a bad day, to admit that you’re just not feeling yourself, and do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
D: Did you make other changes in your life besides running?
P: I completely changed my diet. I quit eating crap all the time (I still indulge, just in moderation). I work hard to have a good balance of protein and carbs. I learned that my body runs much better if I get enough protein in my diet. The biggest change was with sugar. Even when I thought I was eating healthy, I learned that I was eating way too much sugar in my yogurt, oatmeal, milk, fruit, etc. I switched to almond milk, Greek yogurt, oat bran, and cut sugar anywhere else that I could. I even cut way back on “natural” sugar, like fruit.
I have learned that when I eat crap I feel like crap. When I feel like crap, I eat crap. It can be a pretty vicious circle because I really love junk food and don’t like a lot of vegetables. But it is so worth it when I feed and fuel my body correctly.
D: I know my mood goes south easier in the winter, when the days can be bleak and it’s harder to run. Does that happen to you? And if so, do you have a plan for this winter?
P: In past winters, I’ve always kind of curled up, both mentally and physically, and just tried to endure the winter. I literally just felt like I closed down. Since I started running I’ve been able to battle that better. I’m not an early morning runner, my favorite time to run is in the afternoon. So, I have some warmer running clothes and plan to keep running in the afternoon after work. (I get home at 3:30 so have plenty of time to run before sunset.) I can always run at the gym, but have promised myself that if the sun is shining and the wind isn’t screaming cold, I will run outside in the afternoon. I need all the sun I can get.
Dimity: What are your running goals for 2013?
P: I would like to run a couple of half-marathons and a couple of full marathons. I’ve started doing some trail running, so maybe a couple of trail races in there. I’d like to break 2 hours for a half. My best time so far is 2:04. I can beat that.
My youngest daughter is a senior in high school and for her senior project has chosen to train for and run a half-marathon. In preparation for that we are running four 5K’s that lead up to the half-marathon in March. I’m very excited to train and do this with her.
She also struggles with depression, and self doubt, so I can’t wait for her to catch the vision and realize that she is strong enough to do this! Watching her cross the finish line will absolutely be the highlight of my year. It means more to me than any other race I will ever run.