Melissa’s Heart Rate Training Update: A Lesson in Delayed Gratification
Role Mother (and marathoner) Melissa is trying out the Half-Marathon Heart Rate Challenge and documenting it along the way. Here, she talks about the first two weeks. (Check out her intro post and her two-week check-in, full of run/walk/skip/stop/bend over combos.)
Four weeks are in the books for the first wave of heart rate training! How is it going so far? Well, personally I’m resisting the urge to look for results, results, results. All too often in our running, we end constantly searching for some form of immediate improvement and satisfying feedback, and if there is one thing HR training is teaching me, it’s to have patience, patience, and more patience when it comes to evaluating my success with this type of training.
I’m understanding more and more that this is a lesson in delayed gratification, and that some runs won’t even feel like runs at all because I am in a constant battle with getting my rate just right. And guess what? I’m slowly becoming OK with that, and I’m happy to allow a 20-week program to progress just as it should, without trying to over control and mismanage it. I will admit to being a little excited about adding PUs (pick ups) to upcoming runs, just to see if my legs remember how to turn over that quickly, and to see what kind of effect a few moments of speed will have on my heart rate. I took my resting heart rate a few days ago and to my surprise it was much lower than when I took it before starting this program. Not sure what that means, but I’ll take it.
Finally, summer is officially here in my household and that means travel and family schedules that are always up in the air, making me nervous about fitting in four runs per week (with some in unfamiliar settings). I have never run four times per week during the summer months because of the southern heat and humidity, so this will be a whole new season of running for me. I’m hoping the fact my paces are slower will allow my body to not wilt as quickly in the high temps, and the inevitable dehydration recovery I always experience to not be as horrible as it usually is.
We’re 1/5 of the way there BAMRs! Here’s to us hitting the next two weeks of our training with faith, acceptance, and a whole bunch of Nuun tablets.
We’ll check in with Melissa every two weeks to see how she’s running and how she’s feeling, so come back to follow her progress.
Healthy Mommy 5K: Honoring a Sister Lost to Postpartum Depression
Last year, I met Kym Gowin while on the Tales from Another Mother Runner book tour, and her energy and smile lit up my memories to this day. So when one of her pals, Brandi Lee, emailed to tell us about the Healthy Mother 5K and asking if we could connect her with #BAMR tattoo designs, I wanted to know more.
Kym lost her only sister, Kristy Elmore Langdon, to postpartum depression in May of 2014. “We fought like crazy but no one could come between us,” she says, “We went to college together for the first year, were in each others wedding and then we got pregnant with our first children in the same month! We got to go through pregnancy together, shop for maternity clothes and baby things, and after Avery (Kym’s daughter) and Spencer (Kristy’s son) were born we discussed the up and downs of motherhood.”
We are sharing Kristy’s story, via Kym, because running is just one piece of health, and mental health often gets swept under the rug out of fear, ignorance, or embarrassment.
Did Kristy struggle with PPD after having all her sons, or just her youngest?
Kristy struggled with PPD with all her sons. The first and third were the most severe. The first was totally unexpected. My sister was the most together, stable, responsible person you could imagine; she was a CPA which totally fit her personality! She had no history of mental illness. She met none of the key risk factors for PPD. She was happily married, had a strong support system, a good job, and was very financially stable. She and her husband waited to have children until they had paid off their home so Kristy could stay at home with them. She also had no history of or current drug or alcohol use, which is what many first think after a suicide.
Kristy sharing a smile.
How aware of the PPD were you? Did she ask for help, or was her suffering too great to be able to do that?
I was very unaware of PPD. Being a nurse, I have heard of the baby blues and thought it was really no big deal, something you just got over as your baby got older. I had no idea what PPD truly looked like.
That said, Kristy and the family knew something wasn’t right after the birth of her first son, Spencer. She had classic depression signs and symptoms and wanted help. She went to her OB and they worked on it together. She continued to breastfeed; with the support of family and friends, her depression lifted about 2 months after starting treatment. The most beautiful this Kristy said about this period was that she was outside walking with Spencer one morning and the fog just lifted. The sky got bluer and she knew she was better. It was amazing to me how clear this was to her.
With her second son, Sawyer, the postpartum period went smoothly. Kristy and her OB discussed her previous PPD, had a solid plan from the start and it worked well.
Kristy’s sweet boys.
With Simon (the third) everything was different. Kristy’s depression started in the second trimester. Her OB that had been with her through her previous pregnancies had to have emergency surgery. The OB that took over Kristy’s care did not seem as aware of the issues she had faced with PPD. He was not quick to treat her depression during pregnancy and by the time Simon was born, she was in a dark place.
This time she did not think she needed help; her brain was too sick. She did not want to go to the doctor. She was not bonding with Simon and was making frightening statements. Finally, we got her to go to the doctor about 2-3 weeks postpartum and when she told the doctor how she was feeling, she reported that he told her she needed to, “Go home and bond with her baby.” Wow.
Things spiraled out of control from there. Kristy’s OB came back from her medical leave about 6 weeks after Simon was born, took one look at Kristy and said, “You are beyond what I can handle. We need to get you help.” Kristy had at least four suicide attempts that we know of, three admissions to different psychiatric hospitals, and she saw four outpatient psychiatric providers. Her PPD had progressed to postpartum psychosis and healthcare providers didn’t see it or would or could not not addressing it aggressively enough.
I truly believe Kristy was hearing voices that scared her and were threatening to her boys. In the end I think she felt she was a danger to the boys and made the ultimate sacrifice to keep her babies safe.
Was Kristy a runner?
Yes! She liked to do local 5Ks and loved to walk and run with her boys. They were outside all the time!
Kym (in colored top) and her #BAMRS that helped make Healthy Mommy 5K a reality. (If I lived in KT, I would’ve helped too!)
Is that why you started the Healthy Mommy 5K?
After Kristy’s death, her husband and I immediately discussed starting a local foundation to raise awareness of maternal mental health issues. His (and now our) ultimate goal is to build a center in Leitchfield, Kentucky for maternal mental health, which requires quite a bit of financing.
I wanted a special way for everyone who loved Kristy to remember her on the first anniversary of her death on May 30, 2015. I had been thinking about a 5K but had no idea where to start so I threw the idea out to my running tribe one morning and The Healthy Mommy 5K was born. I can take little credit for making the race happen. These ladies are amazing!
Brandi and the #BAMR tattoo that started this post.
What was your race like this year, the second year?
Amazing! We work hard to ensure the HM5K is a family event, so it’s stroller-, kid- and pet-friendly. We had about 175 runners this year.
Her oldest son, Spencer, is old enough to run the whole race! The two younger boys did the 5K as well. Brad (Kristy’s husband) organizes the water stations. Kristy’s girlfriends do the post-run snack area. My mom did registration and ran the race. My dad hung out with the little boys. Our church donates their space for pre-registration and race prep and many members volunteer. It is just amazing to see how many people love Kristy and Brad and the boys!
All proceeds will go to Maternal Mental Health Foundation, Inc; we just finished the by-laws and have started setting up at local health fairs!
Kym and her parents, honoring their daughter and sister Kristy.
Are you going to continue holding the Healthy Mommy 5K annually?
Yes! The HM5K will always be the last Saturday in May, and next year we plan to add a 10K—something that, to my knowledge, has never been done in this town.
Is there anything you want family members of women who are suffering from PPD to know?
IT IS REAL! AND VERY DANGEROUS! It happens to women who have their act together. You cannot just get over this. Health care providers don’t always see the problem because those suffering are embarrassed; this is not what motherhood is ‘supposed’ to be like. Get treatment and don’t stop until you feel someone is listening.
#213: Muslim Women Runners
Just as Ramadan is about to commence, Sarah and co-host Adrienne Martini welcome two guests who are both newer runners—and Muslims—to talk about being a female Muslim (a.k.a. a “Muslimah”) and running. First up is Monica Wallace, one of the co-founders of the group Muslimahs on the Run (MOTR). Monica tells how the seeds for MOTR were photos she shared on social media of herself and friends running in hijab and other modest running attire in keeping with their Islamic faith. This mother runner of three talks about how Muslim women can look 10 different ways when they hit the pavement, and why (and where) she felt “free and fancy” in the United Arab Emirates while exercising. Monica explains how she surprised herself at being able to run during the month-long Ramadan, despite fasting during daylight hours. Finally, Monica shares two stories about how running and Muslimahs on the Run changed the lives of two women, including her own mother.
Then Muslimah and mother-of-two Doaa Elhaggan joins Sarah in the studio to share more about running in loose-fitting garments that cover all but her face and hands, as well as how her workouts change during Ramadan in the sunny-for-17.5-hours-a-day-PacificNW. Doaa also tells the tale of her recent debut half-marathon. First up, though: Sarah and Adrienne laugh about the seasonal ebb and flow of crafting. (As promised, here’s the link to the skirt (yes, skirt!) Ms. Martini is knitting.)
Reminders from the show:
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*Get more details about AMR Retreat: Run + Refresh in Spokane, Wash., September 22-25, on the Retreat page of our website. Or register here.#213: Muslim Women Runners
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Celebrating a Happy Girl’s Running Anniversary
Anne modeling the Start STRONG Finish tank (which, once you read this, is perfect for her!)
I’m Anne. I am Another Mother Runner. I’m the Happy Girl. And this is my 5 year Runniversary.
Runniversary? Is that even a word? Actually, I don’t know. It’s my five-year running anniversary. I think I made it up. But it sounds really good and it rings really true. For me.
5 years ago, I was 30 years old and the full time stay-at-home mother of 3 little girls. I was marking pretty big milestones in life: my oldest daughter was in 1st grade, my middle daughter was in preschool, and my baby girl was only weeks old. (*notice there wasn’t any mention of “me” in that list?) I was deep in the throes of sleepless nights, dirty diapers, potty-training, classroom volunteering, carpooling, cooking, cleaning, and chaos. Yes, I was blessed to be all of those things, and believe me, I was making the most of it. But I was also tired, poured out, and invisible even to my own eyes.
During one of my library expeditions (you know, the ones that have you exclusively perusing the children’s section) I walked by the table of Librarian Recommendations placed like a life raft in the lobby and saw a bright yellow book titled Run Like a Mother. *lightbulb moment*
The word “RUN” jumped out at me and straight into the deepest corner of my soul. “Run,” “run,” “run” kept repeating itself in my head all the while my lips sang and hands clapped along to “If you’re happy and you know it.” There was only one problem… I don’t run. I am not a runner. As my track coach in high school so often liked to point out, I don’t have the right body to be a runner. So who am I kidding, anyway?
But in what I look back on as being one of the most significant moments of bravery in my adult life, I put my name on the (long) waitlist and reserved myself a copy of that book. On March 12th, 2011 I cracked open the cover, stood my two feet on a treadmill for the first time, and started running. I walked/ran for 15 minutes, then 30 minutes, three times per week.
I read in the morning while the baby nursed and ran once she fell asleep. For 10 weeks. Why 10 weeks? Because I had decided that I would run my first 5k while I was still 30. Because there were only 10 weeks left until my birthday. And because, surreptitiously, there just happened to be a brand new race, a women’s only race, happening the weekend before. If there were ever an arrow pointing me in a direction, it was this, and it read Run Happy Girls 5k.
On May 29th, 2011 I swallowed my fear and showed up at the START line. When I got there, I looked around in awe. I had never seen so many women in one place. There were women of all ages and all sizes. There were women in fancy athletic apparel and women in baggy sweats. There was an entire park filled with the chatter of gaggling girlfriends—all of them up early (by choice) on a Sunday morning doing something for themselves. And that’s when it hit me… I was there too. I was one of those Happy Girls. I belonged here.
Then the horn blew and the race began. 3.1 miles seemed like an eternity. I felt slow, my legs felt heavy, I was not feeling so happy. This was hard! But I heard Dimity’s voice in my head: “Break it down to smaller goals. Pick a landmark, run to that, and then keep going.”
The voice that kept Anne going through her very first race!
And I did. I crossed the FINISH line. And the pride that swelled in my heart, the sweaty smile that spread across MY face, the strength that rose up in ME… well, it was MINE. I had found my happy place.
I decided then that I would continue training, that I would keep showing up at START and running to FINISH. 10 weeks later I toed the line at a 10k START. I will never forget running up to the Y in the course and seeing arrows pointing for the 5k to go one way and the 10k to go the other … I remember thinking: “I’ve done it, I’ve graduated, I’ve followed my arrow and run farther than I ever thought possible.” I guess I didn’t know then what I was truly capable of or how far I really could run.
One year later, on the same Saturday late in May, I showed up at the same park and at the same Happy Girls START line – this time, to mark a new milestone, to run my first half marathon. The horn blew, the race began, and I ran 13.1 miles. A heart filled with happiness and my very own two feet carried me along the course, and as I ran by my little girls holding signs at mile 9 and at the FINISH, I realized that they were seeing me… I had run to life.
Anne’s first 13.1 finish line.
5 years later… I’m now 35 years old. I’m a newly single mother to my three girls. My oldest is now in middle school, my middle is in 4th grade, and my baby is in preschool. I have crossed the FINISH of a 5k, two 8ks, two 10ks, a 12K, and seven half marathons.
Every year since the “first,” I start my run season on Happy Girls weekend, on the same Saturday late in May, at the same park, and in a sea of now familiar faces, and along familiar miles… to keep myself honest, to push my own limits, and to celebrate my milestones. I have secretly been saving my “next 5k” for this one—to really measure how far (and how much faster) I’ve come since my beginning.
I am proud, yes, because I PR’d my original 5k time by five minutes and placed 2nd in my age group. But even more so because in these 5 years, I have ended up becoming my BEST self and I have found my STRONG.
Anne from start to finish: At the Happy Girls Race in (top) 2011, 2012, 2013 and (bottom) 2014, 2015, and 2016.
If you are sitting on the couch nursing your infant, are on the floor building block towers with your preschooler, or are sitting at a team practice alternately showing interest in your offspring’s athletic prowess whilst reading this blogpost… you are not alone. Friend, you can start. And you will finish. You just have to give yourself permission to dream it up, give yourself a little time every day to do the work, and show up for yourself. You just have to harness your inner badass and let your legs prove it to you.
If you are still running on the treadmill hidden safely in your house because you are too afraid to get outside, or are longing for a running friend but are also too worried about whether you’ll be able to keep up, don’t be! You are perfect just the way you are and someone else out there is looking for someone just like you. Get connected; go on a group fun run or join a training program.
Whichever category you find yourself in at the moment, you belong. So celebrate! Run in honor of yourself. Run in the company of other women. Run with us (!) at this year’s Run + Refresh Retreat and Happy Girls race in Spokane, Washington.
And hold onto these simple truths:
1. The joy is in the journey.
2. When you RUN like there’s no tomorrow, you’ll discover that life is made up of moments and every.single.day you hold the power to manifest your own destiny. Because today leads to tomorrow, one ‘first step’ leads to a second, one mile leads to another, and one START line can lead you on a scenic (albeit sweaty) journey if you’re brave enough to keep on running.
3. Whether your goal is to bravely START and FINISH, or you’ve trained up to FINISH STRONG, somewhere along the way you’ll discover that you were, indeed, STRONG all along.
A shot from last year’s Happy Girls Race…Will we see you here this year?