Dry Martini: Best Intentions
My plans were grand, you guys. I was going to tell you all about the last few weeks of training for the Wineglass Half in Corning, N.Y., which is the next race I’m really running with any intentions. But there’s really not much to tell — and for reasons I’ll explain later, my brain isn’t putting words together well right now.
Short version: I’ve been running. Sometimes the runs are long; sometimes they are full of intervals and speedwork. With just a couple of exceptions, I’ve run them as directed. With, of course, various amounts of grousing.
Full disclosure: I’ve mostly groused about the speedwork because I hate it. I would rather mosey for ten miles than move quickly for three. Which means that the speedy stuff is what I most need to do, mind. But, ugh.
Perhaps the only notable run was my last long one two weeks ago. Fourteen miles were on the schedule. While fourteen is really freaking long, it’s within my capabilities. What I didn’t account for was going for an overnight trip to the New York Renaissance Faire the day before with my kid, two of her friends, and another mom.
At the Ren Faire. Guess which of these children is mine.
Because, yes, a Renaissance Fair nerd is just the kind of nerd I am. If you are also that kind of nerd, to you I say, Huzzah.
Anyhoo, at said Fair, I did nothing but walk and eat my weight in fried things. Which then decided that they all needed to leave my body at about mile eight the next day. Which seems to be a trend lately, the mid-run gut explosion. It’s happening on more and more runs (no pun intended) and I suspect I’m eventually going to have to figure out why.
Upside: I do know where every public bathroom in a four-mile radius of my house is. So there’s that.
I made a new friend at the Faire.
Barring the gut explosion, the run was fine. I got out there, I ran, I sat for five minutes in a public park bathroom, I kept running, I went home.
Now, I taper.
But none of that was part of my grand plan for this post. What I decided to write about when I was at 30,000 feet on my way to Portland, Oregon, was to write about running through a certain Sarah Bowen Shea’s neighborhood, which is what I did before we packed ourselves in the minivan to drive to Spokane for the 2017 AMR retreat.
On the road from Portland to Spokane. It could not have been more scenic.
When I came up with this plan, I neglected to account for two things:
Thing one: When you get up to go for a run at 6 a.m. in September, it is dark, which makes taking cute selfies impossible.
Thing two: When you shift your body clock three hours after having been on a plane for seven hours and not getting nearly enough sleep before you got on the plane, forming coherent sentences is hard.
With that in mind, you’ll just have to trust me that running in Portland was lovely, because it was. I slapped on some borrowed knuckle lights, half looked at a map, and took off into the drizzly dark. It felt great and I didn’t get too lost.
I’m hoping that after another night of decent sleep, I’ll feel less like I’ve been pulled through a hedge backwards and will be better able to put words in nice neat rows. Or, at least, take really cute selfies. Or, if I can’t even manage that, find a public restroom when out on the run.
A girl can dream.
Question for the Tribe: Have you had gut issues mid-run? How did you solve them?
Speaking of Wineglass, I’d love to have an extra hand or two at the Expo if any BAMRs out there have the inclination. Please send an email to adrienne@anothermotherrunner.com if you’d like to hang out with me on September 29 or 30 for a few hours.
Zooming to ZOOMA: Setting Expectations
For their sixth blog post, Bridget and Heidi, friends and business partners in the Hell Yeah Projects, interview each other about their training and soon-to-be race experience at ZOOMA Cape Cod.
Heidi Bellamente, 39; mother of two, entrepreneur and leadership coach & consultant (and future ½ marathon finisher) starts us off by interviewing Bridget Sprague, 41; mother of three, entrepreneur and Director of Marketing for Revision Energy (and future 10K finisher).
Heidi: Hey! I’m still with you on this crazy journey, which I know it has been. How’s it going?
Bridget: It’s hard. I’m not going to lie. I hate the feeling that I’ve disappointed myself again because I had an injury that threw me off my training plan. I know I’m not going to be able to run this race and it’s driving me crazy. But I’ve gone out on some walks and bike rides with the family. That feels great.
Three of Bridget’s bike riding buddies.
We’ve got 3 weeks before race day, what’s your plan?
Treadmill in the morning around 5 a few times a week and walking meetings as much as possible. Waking up so early is not ideal but I have to be okay with “not ideal.” I’m also planning to see a new therapist who can help stop the negative talk in my head. I love therapy. Everyone should have a therapist. Ha!
What do you want from these last three weeks of training?
I want to start with being happy and grateful. I want to stop beating myself up in my head like I’ve been doing these past couple weeks. I want to focus on how awesome a job I’m doing raising 3 awesome kids, loving my awesome husband, and enjoying my first full time job in 10 years…AND get as many walks in as possible before the race.
I’m going to demand that grace for yourself and where you’re at is part of it, so just plan that in, okay?
I’m so incredibly grateful for you Heidi. I love how Brene Brown talks about grace, “grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.” Okay… so there is a greater purpose behind me completing this race as a walker and not a runner. I don’t fully understand it yet, but I can get behind that.
I’m really looking forward to this adventure with you — I mean, a beach finish, sweet after party, a Hell Yeah Project workshop on Sunday after yoga. What are you most looking forward to?
If I’m being 100% honest, the number one thing I’m most excited about is getting a weekend away with my husband. Man, we need this! With three kids at home we don’t get many weekends away. A close second is the Hell Yeah Projects Workshop. Every time we run a workshop, it seems we change someone’s life. It blows my mind. I’m ready to change someone’s life again.
The view for Heidi’s run.
And now Bridget turns the tables on Heidi…
Bridget: Damn, girl! You ran 12 miles!! This race is going to be so easy for you.
Heidi: Well, I don’t know about easy, but I certainly have built up some confidence along with the mileage. It was awesome to log 12 miles. And it went surprisingly fast. We ran a beautiful route with a few hills and a lot of animals. We saw horses, turkeys, and what looked like a couple cows being trained to pull a plow. I didn’t realize that happened around here. So overall, I’d say training is going well. I’m actually enjoying it.
What do you like about it?
I like my long runs with friends. Our world is so rushed all the time so the two+ hour runs feel like a luxury somehow. I get to tell (and hear) the long version of the story. It makes me realize how nice that is. I also like getting faster. I’ve been surprised at the last couple runs how we’ve upped our pace and it’s felt really good.
Heidi’s running buddies
Did you finally get those new kicks?
I did! And a new shirt and socks! And I ordered a whole bottle of SweatX (and one for my sister, not that she stinks or anything)! I can’t wait to see how it all turns out. I should look a lot more like a runner now than I did before. Not that I care, but it might lend me some street cred at the race. You know, with my kicks and all☺
Well, at least you’re not calling them tennis shoes anymore.
It’s because I’m running in them. If I was just wearing them around, but not running, I’d still call them tennis shoes.
You mean if you were playing tennis?
No. I don’t play tennis. But if I did, I’d still wear these same shoes. I certainly wouldn’t wear sneakers. Those are only for coffee shops and parkour.
#277: How to Get Back in the Running Groove
Sarah and co-host Amanda Loudin converse candidly with four women who fell out of their running groove to learn how they are finding their way back—or discovering a new way. The first guest, Maggie Palmer, was just starting to get in a post-move groove when disaster struck—literally: She and her family endured Hurricane Irma on the Caribbean island of St. Maarten. Maggie shares how she and her family are getting back on their feet after being evacuated and landing in Chicago, including how Maggie is enviously eyeing women runners staying at same hotel. Then Jen Rucker tells how back surgery sidelined her. She and Sarah dive into a discussion about the lies we sometimes tell ourselves to get through a challenging situation. Now on the road to recovery (she’s up to running two miles!), Jen stresses the importance of being kind—and patient—to yourself. Next up is Ariel Garl, who shares how she’s been battling severe asthma and collateral health issues for the past two years. Ariel explains how, despite numerous stays in the intensive care unit, she is still striving for a Boston-qualifying marathon time. This mother runner who “falls hard but bounces well” reveals why she sets a 15-minute timer to vent her emotions, and how every day, she chooses to move forward. Finally, Tarleen Weston, a new mom who talks about getting repeatedly “knocked on her bottom” during pregnancy and post-partum. Hear how triathlon training pulled her up and out—and laugh along with the trio when Tarleen tosses out mermaid and Snow White references!
The inspiring interviews in this extra-long podcast start at 11:05.
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Back in the Groove: How to Get Moving When You Can’t Breathe
Today’s Groover is Ariel Garl. She has two kids, ages 5 and 10, and struggles with severe asthma. Her recovery is an on-going process. Some running grooves aren’t as linear as a BAMR would like.
Remember: You can hear from all of our Groovers on Friday’s podcast.
Ariel’s back during her second race, um, back.
How did you lose your running groove?
Two years ago I was the fastest, strongest, leanest, and healthiest I had ever been. I was prepared to qualify for Boston. Then, for reasons that still escape me, I developed severe asthma. Despite being treated by one of the premier severe asthma specialists, I was frequently admitted to the Intensive Care Unit and placed on life support.
During the summer of 2016, I had a series of procedures to ablate (to basically burn out) some of the smooth muscle in my lungs. It’s not a cure but the hope is it will decrease the severity and frequency of my attacks. Though successful, I had complications. I developed a large blood clot in my arm and chest, had a vocal cord injury, infections, seizures, and debilitating weakness from medications and being critically ill. I also suffered a major neurologic event (a fancy term for we don’t really know what happened to my brain). I was left temporarily blind and without use of my left arm or leg for several days. It has improved greatly, but I am still slightly weaker on that side and have a tremor.
Ariel and her BRF after surgery
Though my asthma is still challenging, it has vastly improved. I occasionally get the gift of a few weeks in which I almost forget I have it. I manage it the best I can with the goal of living my life to the fullest, while accepting that I may end up back up in the ICU on occasion.
How did you get your groove back?
I am blessed with an amazing support system and also draw strength from my faith. My husband, children (ages 5 and 10), along with friends, church community, running buddies, a fabulous coach, phenomenal medical team, and a wonderful tribe of BAMRs, continues to help me recover and learn to live within my new normal.
In the beginning I was angry, frustrated, determined that I was not going alter my life at all. Over time that wasn’t possible — but I was determined that as long I was able (and my doctor allowed), I would run. Running was the only way I knew how to cope with this disease, the complications, and the unpredictable nature of it all.
While undergoing my lung procedures I had to stop running. When I returned to running my body had undergone some major insults. On by first run back, with my BRF by my side, I set out to cover the 5 mile “easy route” we always used to run. I made it 0.1 miles before I was forced to walk. However, we finished all 5 miles with similar intervals of 0.1 mile run with ½-1 mile walk. My first goal became to run all 5 miles, which took two months to accomplish.
Ariel with running buddies back on the road.
Over the last two years my outlook has changed a lot. I am more grateful for each day and footstep. I soak in the little moments life has to offer. When I can breathe easily throughout the day, and on my run, it is better than any gift I’ve ever received.
On the days I struggle, I choose to find the good. I started a gratitude journal and write down five things for which I am thankful each day. As much I am able, I continue this even when I am in the ICU. There is good all around if you just look for it.
I am also seeing a therapist. I have grieved with her and learned to settle into my new life. She gives me a safe place to cry and occasionally admit this really sucks. But she also helps me pick up the pieces and move forward.
I have a wonderful coach who has been with me through all of this. In challenging weeks, we will text daily and she gives me one workout at a time based on how I am feeling. She believes in my dreams. She supports me in the hard times and celebrates when I do things that should be impossible. She is also the voice of wisdom and reason and holds me back when needed.
More than anything, I refused to quit. No matter how hard it was, I focused on putting one foot in front of another. Shortly after my neurologic insult I was told to force my brain and body to communicate. So I ran, swam, and strength trained. When my body was wrecked by steroids and immobility from being on life-support, I would run as soon I was cleared to do so. I would run what I could and walk the rest.
Most often I celebrate what I can do. Boston still beckons. So I work each day on getting a little closer to a BQ.
At the Eau Claire half-marathon with BAMR Natalie. Ariel is wearing the green shirt she always wears in races now.
What advice would you give to others?
- Hang on when everything in you is screaming to let go, whether it is emotionally, physically, mentally — or all three. There are better days ahead and quitting will certainly never get you where you want to be.
- Allow yourself moments to grieve and be angry. Connect with those feelings of how unfair, uncertain, or hard this is. But do not allow yourself to live there. When I am struggling, I go somewhere I can be alone. I set a timer for 15 minutes and allow myself to really feel those intense emotions. I spend that time crying and experience that heartbreak, sorrow and disappointment. When the time is up, I dry my eyes, pick myself up, and move forward.
- Find your tribe and allow them to care for you. Those who I appreciate the most are the friends who stand with me when there is nothing they can do to fix the situation. Some of them live close and others are the tribe of BAMRs I met at the retreat in Little Rock a few years ago. They provide a safe place to let down without fear of judgment or misplaced advice. They watch my children when my husband needs a break. They sit sit with me in the ICU, even when I do not know they are there. They help me stay in the fight.
If you’re looking to get your groove back with a group of like-minded runners, there’s still time to Stride into the School Year. This five-week program is all about forward motion, fitness, accountability and community, not about training for a specific race. The workouts are one-size-fits-all, whether you’re a walker, run/walker, or runner, and whether you’re just starting to run, coming back to it after a decade off, or just need a little push to get you jump started again.
Back in the Groove: How to Get Moving After Having a Baby
Today’s Groover is Tarleen Weston. She’s a full-time grad student working on a doctorate to become a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner attempting to supplement her tuition by working 20 hours a week as a Graduate Research Assistant. If that weren’t enough to keep her busy, she also has two daughters, ages 3.5 years and 11 months. It’s that 11-month old who misplaced Tarleen’s groove.
Remember: You can hear from all of our Groovers on Friday’s podcast.
Tarleen with her girls after the race.
How did you lose your running groove?
My second pregnancy was much harder than my first. The first time around was a cakewalk but I didn’t really exercise during it so I gained 50 pounds. When my first daughter was a little younger than one year old, I started running and used it as a way to de-stress and get back down to a healthy weight. Prior to this, I was not a runner nor endurance fitness focused. With my next pregnancy, I went in thinking “I’m going to work out throughout the pregnancy and try to stay fit. If not running, I’m going to keep walking and keep just moving.”
With every intention I tried to keep moving and it was just terrible. I was in a lot of pain and discomfort. I also had nausea for the first 15 weeks. The symptoms along with still managing school and motherhood led to me completely falling off the wagon. Once the nausea subsided, I tried to get to walking again. Toward the end of my third trimester and I said, “I’m done. I’m not doing anything anymore until this baby comes out.”
How are you working on getting your groove back?
It has been a struggle. I waited until the six-week check-up before I even thought about working out again. I tried to start slow and use strength training and workout DVDs but I didn’t really enjoy it. Once I tried to start running again, I absolutely hated it. I would come home in tears thinking that I completed a half marathon months before I got pregnant and now I’m struggling running one and a half miles. It was really difficult for me to accept as well as quite depressing. I was hoping that running could help with my mental state and work through all the other hormonal changes I was going through.
I decided start the AMR 5K program since I knew I would have more support and motivation. Unfortunately, it advanced faster than my body could handle and I started to experience a fiery sensation from my left calf down to the bottom of my foot. I couldn’t progress with everyone else through the training weeks and that bummed me out more. I decided it was time to get a personal running coach who will help me train through this because I wanted to run again. So I did, and she was awesome!
My running struggle opened me up to the idea of a triathlon. I’d always wanted to do one so I figured why not this year? I wouldn’t be constantly stressing out my leg with running and could use the bike and swim to give my body a break from the constant pounding. Yup, this was the year for a triathlon. I started training in March and the race was in August.
I went back to school part-time in January and I was in full-time for the summer semester. In the summer, I had a seven week class with a 90-hour practicum and I didn’t know how training is humanly possible in addition to being a stay-at-home mom. In addition, the last time I rode a bike I was 15 and I hadn’t been in the water since before my first daughter was born. Due to a lack of time and prioritizing my endurance workouts, I didn’t stretch or strength train effectively. Needless to say, I injured myself at my hip and shoulder.
It was ok because, for some reason, things just worked out. It was serendipitous because the onset of the injuries aligned with when I had vacation. I came back after seeing my in-laws in Oregon, completely rested. Then a week later I had my triathlon (the Iron Girl in Columbia, MD) — and I finished it!
I loved multi-sport training and I feel like I’ve been converted from a straight runner to a multi-sport athlete. Riding my bike feels like the closest thing to flying and I really loved being in the water. It really helped with my mental health and stress release; just being able to be in the water, swim, and just focus on my breathing.
What advice do you have for others in a similar situation?
Let go of where you were and truly be a blank slate. Don’t come with expectations. Just embrace where you are at this moment, because you are going to improve. If you go in thinking “I used to run at X pace, now I run two minutes slower,” you’re going to be defeated before you even really start. Accept where your new baseline is and just go from there.
Also, enjoy the process and the time to yourself. Enjoy treating to yourself, because that’s what you’re doing when you’re training. This is your time. Just enjoy it. When I was in the water I couldn’t take my girls with me, which I didn’t really mind.
If you’re looking to get your groove back with a group of like-minded runners, there’s still time to Stride into the School Year. This five-week program is all about forward motion, fitness, accountability and community, not about training for a specific race. The workouts are one-size-fits-all, whether you’re a walker, run/walker, or runner, and whether you’re just starting to run, coming back to it after a decade off, or just need a little push to get you jump started again.
Back in the Groove: How to Resume Running after a Move
Today’s Groover is Maggie Palmer, who you might recognize from her AMR column. She, her husband, three kids, one dog, and one cat made an international move three weeks ago, from Portland, Oregon, to the island of St. Maarten.
*cue ominous music*
When we first approached Maggie about writing about how to resume running after a move, we had zero idea what Irma was about to do to that island paradise. This piece was written during the run-up to the hurricane.
Maggie and her family are safe and currently in Chicago. She will be telling the full story of her adventure (and how she hopes to get her groove back again) on this Friday’s podcast.
Maggie after one of her first island runs. Her AfterShokz running headphones were one of the few things in the backpack she grabbed as she evacuated!
How did you lose your running groove?
I lost my running groove some time around April, although I got it back here and there. I was running 10 miles almost every Saturday and, during the week, getting in at least 3-5 miles on 4 days. I also was running more half marathons in Portland; I did two in the spring and one in July, which helped me to keep some sense of training when I was feeling overwhelmed with changes on the horizon.
The reason April was a turning point for me was my husband started interviewing for a large job that he really wanted in St Maarten, in the Caribbean. He flew back and forth for an interview. Plus he also happened to be traveling a lot for work in general, including a trip to Japan. With three young kids at home and my own business to run, I was putting myself on the back burner. I was trying to plan ahead for a potential international move, working through the scenarios, and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it because we didn’t want to say anything until he actually had the offer. So when I’d go out for a run, I’d be so distracted thinking about all of the variables: Should we move? Would the kids be happy? Would we have to sell our house in Oregon? What would happen to my consulting business? My mind was running faster than my feet, essentially.
On her balcony, the night before the storm.
How are you working on getting it back?
My husband’s new job has a gym, so I’ve been going there every day and doing the treadmill, because it’s so hot and humid here right now. I also connected with another spouse in the university’s community who moved here from the States and is a marathoner. He has given me a lot of advice about the trails to run and running groups. I have yet to reach out to anyone, however, because we’re all hunkered down for a major hurricane that’s approaching at the moment.
What are three pieces of advice you’d have for anyone in a similar situation?
- Be patient. Give yourself time to acclimate to a new environment and new people, new trails, new way of doing things. If you have to stick with the treadmill, that’s okay.
- Find your tribe. I think that’s what AMR is all about when you boil it down. Most of us only know one another virtually but that, to me, is still a tribe. I check in online with runners’ groups to feel like I’m part of things — and I am working on finding a running group here as well.
- Make it a priority. I try to schedule my runs as if they’re a meeting. So from 9-10 a.m., I’m busy. I try to keep that time for myself. I’ve canceled those meetings before — and I still do if something comes up I can’t get around (for example, the kids are off school for an entire week as we get ready for the hurricane) so I won’t get to the gym much this week most likely. In which case, refer to point 1, and repeat as needed.
If you’re looking to get your groove back with a group of like-minded runners, there’s still time to Stride into the School Year. This five-week program is all about forward motion, fitness, accountability and community, not about training for a specific race. The workouts are one-size-fits-all, whether you’re a walker, run/walker, or runner, and whether you’re just starting to run, coming back to it after a decade off, or just need a little push to get you jump started again.