#280: A Sarah + Dimity Catch-up Chat
The AMR co-founders have been on the road! First the Retreat, then the Twin Cities Marathon, so in this episode they pause and play catch-up and share details of both fun-filled weekends. The conversation veers from great race signs to fire drills. Sarah gives a race report about her 14th marathon: Find out why she’s so proud of her effort in the final 10K of the 26.2, and how the music fueled her. (Tay-Tay to the rescue!) Sarah tells the tale of running with several mother runners, including across the finish line with her tank-top twinsie. Learn how rain didn’t dampen Dimity’s exuberant cheer-leading for TCM participants.
Also, Sarah shares an update on Team AMR member Maggie Palmer, from Episode #277, whose family lived through Hurricane Irma mere weeks after moving to Saint Maarten.
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Zooming to ZOOMA: Ready for Race Day?
For their last blog post, Bridget and Heidi, friends and business partners in the Hell Yeah Projects, interview each other about their training and soon-to-be race experience at ZOOMA Cape Cod.
Bridget Sprague, 41; mother of three, entrepreneur and Director of Marketing for Revision Energy (and future 10K finisher) starts us off by interviewing Heidi Bellamente, 39; mother of two, entrepreneur and leadership coach & consultant (and future ½ marathon finisher).
Bridget: You’re days away from the big race, how do you feel?
Heidi: I feel ready. I’m actually really glad the race is now because I’m not sure these old bones can keep running over ten miles. But honestly I actually do feel ready. I even got new shoes.
What kind of shoes did you get? I love new sneaks.
My daughter Sophie picked them out. They’re bright orange Asics. Crazily enough she picked out the perfect pair for me.
One of Heidi’s last long runs!
It’s been a tough week with everything happening in the news. I’ve been feeling really down. How do you balance the craziness happening with feeling excited for this race?
I feel like the training grounds me and gives me some consistency in my life. When I run my mind is either totally blank or I’m processes my life and feelings. I get to chat with my friend on my long runs about anything that is particularly tough so that’s been really helpful. Although, it doesn’t take away from the fact that there is some seriously heavy stuff happening in the world right now.
What are you doing to get ready in these last couple days?
I’m trying to get rest and eat well which means not shoving handfuls of double stuffed Oreos in my face. Sometimes that’s really hard not to justify when you’ve just run eight miles. But honestly, following my training plan for the last week, I feel like I’ve done all the hard work so now I get to take it a little easy.
How did the training plan work for you now that training is almost over?
I think it worked really well for me. It helped me track my mileage, helped me set weekly goals and definitely reminded me to cross train and strength train – two things I couldn’t have done without the training plan. I also know I didn’t do everything in the training plan – if I had, I probably would have won the race! Ha!
Taking it all in before race day.
Any last words on your race day strategy?
I am going to enjoy myself. I can’t wait to run my best friend Sarah’s race for ZOOMA Women’s Running and to try to run a 10.3 minute mile. It’s going to be an awesome day.
And now Heidi turns the tables and asks Bridget questions…
Heidi: You’ve come up against some hard stuff training for this race. Is it going to happen this time?
Bridget: The answer sadly is no. It’s not going to happen for me this time. I’ve experienced too many injuries and will be the crazy lady on the side of the road cheering my heart out for you.
People get hurt and injured and that’s a part of training. How are you getting your mind around not completing the race?
I’m bummed. Super bummed. But I’m going to enjoy my time away with my family and make the most out of the weekend.
What did you learn about yourself going through this process?
I’ve learned that I can’t force myself to do something that isn’t right for my body. I’ve also learned that I LOVE spending time exercising with my family and look forward to bike rides on the weekends now more than ever. Exercising with people is WAY more fun than trying to stay motivated by myself all the time.
Aw, I’m excited to have a cheerleader but sad you’re not able to run it. Do you think you’ll try again?
Let’s just say I’ve discovered issues with my feet that don’t jive well with running a 10K. But really have discovered a love for cycling. Maybe you’ll see me at bike races someday soon.
Does that mean that you’ll never run a 10K?
I never say never to anything.
The ocean is always there, even when you are bummed.
Your purpose has changed for this weekend, what do you want to get out of it now? What’s your race day strategy?
I’ll have my kids with me so my strategy is to get them excited about possibly racing in the future. Give them the opportunity to see all of theses amazing women who are strong and tough and worked hard to get to where they are. I want them to create awesome goals and know they can reach them with hard work and determination.
Thank you for being my cheerleader.
Don’t thank me yet — I may try to embarrass you along the way.
BAMRs Rock Ragnar ADK!
Heather and Abbie tell the tale of 12 women, two vans, 30 hours, and 200-ish miles. What could have been the premise for a reality show (The Real Mother Runners of Upstate New York!) was actually the Another Mother Runner team for Ragnar Adirondacks. And – spoiler alert – there wasn’t a single catfight.
From strangers to Ragnarians.
For the uninitiated, Ragnar is a point-to-point relay race that covers around 200 miles split between twelve runners (or six ultrarunners, if you’re looking for more stress in your life.) Runners are divided between two vans. While Van 1 is running and chasing their runners, Van 2 can rest and refuel, and vice versa. Ragnar stages these relays all over the country — ours started in Saratoga Springs, NY, and ran north to finish in Lake Placid. With the beautiful fall scenery, it was a great few days!
One thing I love about Ragnar is how universal the challenge is. With each runner’s three legs averaging between 2 and 6 miles, it’s not out of reach for a relatively new runner. But the sleep deprivation required of an around-the-clock race means it’s still plenty challenging for a seasoned athlete. With only two hours (if you’re lucky) of gymnasium floor sleep under your belt, even the simplest tasks get hairy. For instance, Van 2’s child locks were on throughout the entire race. Exhaustion made this an obstacle too difficult to overcome, so those runners spent 1.5 days climbing in and out of windows or waiting for their front seat teammates to open the doors for them. (They swear it seemed reasonable at the time.)
The (liquid) gold medal goes to Carla, who pumped in the van throughout the race. IN THE VAN! This woman is a rockstar.
Packing is also a challenge. No matter how many pairs of socks and underwear you include, it’s somehow never enough. As one runner feeling the scarcity noted, “I wish I’d thought more about what I’d need between my legs, literally and figuratively.”
The night before the race, we gathered in the greatroom of our rented home for a team meeting. I assumed we’d be discussing our favorite GU flavors and the softest toilet paper brands, but instead we discuss “the rules.” Our captain, Alison, was amazingly organized and on top of all Ragnar etiquette. The most important rule, we all agreed: You ALWAYS need more cowbell.
The Meeting.
At 6:15 a.m. on race day, Van 1 is at the starting line. You can feel the energy and hear the 90s rock music pulsing, but thanks to well-orchestrated start waves, it is uncrowded and we move through the sign-in process quickly. We munch breakfast, NUUN up, watch the prescribed safety video, and comedically try to figure out how to use a port-a-potty in a tutu. (This becomes more difficult throughout the day as the porta-a-potties become…well loved.) Before we know it, the air horn blasts and Sara, runner #1, is off. The rest of us pile in the van and get our map and our cowbells ready.
The morning quickly settles into a routine. A runner comes in to an exchange point, the sweaty slap bracelet is transferred, and the next runner is off. After getting water and a snack to the weary runner while discussing her number of “kills,” which is Ragnar-speak for runners you pass, we pile into the van and drive. Scanning the road for signs of our BAMR, we watch for their familiar gait or, in the dark, for their reflective vests and blinkers. We cowbell like crazy and shout encouragement as we pass. As we cheer, most runners give us thumbs-up or a friendly smile and a wave, but we did get the stink eye from one female runner who didn’t appreciate our cheerleader antics after the third time we pass her. Weird.
Marking off the miles
Down the road, we pull over to wait for our runner, and make sure she’s well-hydrated and happy. Or for our unfortunate runner with a bad cold, offer her tissues and make sure she is still moving forward. We pile back in the van, hurry to the next exchange point, get the next runner ready, and the cycle begins again.
A key Ragnar rule is to use two provided neon orange flags to alert cars when crossing the street to assist a runner. This quickly becomes a coveted job that involves throwback dancing and choreography from high school marching band days. Sleep deprivation seems to only encourage these antics. Oh, the stories that were shared! But what happens at Ragnar stays at Ragnar.
Gettin’ jiggy with it – and by “it,” we mean “neon flags.”
All told, the race takes us 30 hours to complete, and we place third (!) in the all-women division. (There were only six teams in that category, but who cares – third!) Fonda, our powerhouse of a final runner, comes blasting into the finish line field the afternoon of the second race day. Our arms form a tunnel for her to run through before we follow her into the chute and across the line.
Tunnel o’ BAMRs!
As I link arms with my teammates, the fact that 48 hours ago most of us had never met is irrelevant. Tomorrow I will get teary as I leave these strangers-turned-friends. And these days, more than ever, it warms me to remember that sometimes all we need are one or two things in common to form a tribe.
On Wednesdays, We Wear Pink: Staci’s Story
So many mother runners are already aware of breast cancer, including our own Katie, that it seems almost like overkill to devote October to becoming even more aware. Yet breast cancer remains the second leading killer of women and there are more than 3.1 million U.S women who have been or are currently being treated for it. Most of the women in the Tribe have been affected by breast cancer, as a patient or as a sister, daughter, mother, or friend.
This month, we’ll share stories of BAMRs with breast cancer on Tuesdays. Why Tuesdays? Because on Wednesdays, we’d like you to wear pink on your run to show your support and start conversations. And, yes, a few of us at Team AMR are Mean Girls fans.
Today, we’re sharing Staci’s story.
Staci ran the Fargo Half in May 2016, about a year before her breast cancer was diagnosed.
My cancer was discovered when I noticed an indentation on the side of my right breast in early April 2017 while getting undressed for a shower. After examining the indent, I felt the lump. I followed-up immediately with my primary care doctor and was referred for a 3D mammogram, ultrasound, and a biopsy of the lump. It was an an agonizing 3 weeks of waiting. My official diagnosis came on April 25.
During those first weeks after diagnosis, I was filled with anxiety. We had so many unanswered questions. I tried to run during those first days and sometimes my anxiety would take over and there were some very hard runs. As time passed, I decided the only way to get through this was to get tough and fight. I knew I could not let fear or cancer win and knew running was something that had always helped me emotionally and mentally as well as physically.
I live in a very flat area of North Dakota. It’s so flat that I use an overpass along my regular running route for my hill training runs. I decided that the overpass would be my bump in the road. I would beat cancer like I beat that hill every time I ran up. I kept running and kept running up my hill. To this day when I run up that overpass, I tell cancer over and over to $#@# off. That it will not win because I am stronger. I usually shed some tears when I get to the top of that overpass.
As I got closer to starting chemo, I had so many emotions. I was so scared of the unknown and how chemo would affect me. I wanted to keep my life as normal as I could and continue to enjoy the things in my life that make me happy. My running has always been very important to me. It makes me feel happy and strong.
After being diagnosed there was a period of scans, biopsies, and surgeries followed by waiting for the results before I could move forward with treatment plans. Some weeks I was healing and unable to run — but I noticed the weeks I could run I felt better. I could handle what was being thrown at me better. A cancer diagnosis takes so much from a person that I didn’t want it to take running away too.
My first post-chemo run came six days after my first chemo treatment. I ran on our treadmill at home. After I was done I felt like I could take on anything and win. I felt normal and I knew I was going to be ok.
Staci and her bump in the road on a recent run.
Still, it hasn’t been easy. Because the side effects of chemo accumulate as treatment progresses, I am slower, more easily fatigued and my runs have gotten harder. But studies show that running and exercise are so beneficial for you during chemo because they can help lessen the side effects and help your body recover after you are done with treatments. I try to remember that when it is hard to get out the door.
I have received five chemo treatments and have three more to go. Chemo has gone quite a bit better than I had imagined. I feel good and my side effects have been minimal. I believe that is due to the shape I was in prior to starting chemo thanks to running and that I have been able to continue to exercise through my treatments.
My running has lessened some since I started chemo — partly due to fatigue but also due to going back to work and getting into the craziness of back-to-school with our 8th grade son. Sometimes it is more of a run/walk now but I am still moving!
It’s been important to me to continue to live as normally as I can and getting out of the house to spend time with my friends helps. I have found some friends are hesitant to reach out because they don’t want to bother me. Don’t be hesitant to reach out, I’d advise anyone with a friend going through treatment. You are not bothering them but letting them know you care.
Also, as person who is very independent, I have found it can be very hard to accept help. I want to do it all myself. Sometimes it better to just show up and tell your friend how you are going to help rather than asking. They don’t have the opportunity to say no then.
Are you ready to wear pink on your run tomorrow? Take a picture of yourself and join us over on Facebook. We’ll have easy-to-use profile picture overlays to show your support for BAMRs like Staci, increase awareness, and drive conversations. If you like to DIY your own overlays, click here.
What Would Another Mother Runner Do: Playing Hooky to Run a Ragnar
Join us again in the What Would Another Mother Runner Do corner. This time, the topic is playing hooky in order to run a Ragnar relay.
From another mother runner, who chooses to remain anonymous for reasons that will become clear:
I’m currently headed to Bretton Woods, New Hampshire, to run the Reach the Beach Relay. I haven’t told anyone (other than my husband) because I called in sick to work to get the day off. Since a good chunk of my work involves social media I know any posts I write about doing relay race will pop up on colleagues’ feeds. I’ve gone so far as to take twitter off of my phone so that I’m not tempted.
It’s really interesting to be getting ready for a race, and you can’t talk about before, during, or after with your virtual pals. Ten or 15 years ago that would be totally normal. Now it’s like, ‘am I even RUNNING this race?!’
It’s a funny situation but made us think: Would we straight-up tell our boss the truth or, like this BAMR, call in sick and run on the down-low?
SBS says: I’m a rule follower, so this dilemma has me conflicted. I think laying low on social is DEFINITELY the right move professionally, but I might have used a vacation or personal day instead of calling in sick. (As one woman pointed out when I told her situation, “How would she explain walking like a baby giraffe in high heels when she returns to work after the relay?!?”) As for the almost Buddhist meditation on, “If I don’t talk re: the training/race on social, does it really exist?” I think I’d actually relish the lack of “pressure” to perform. There’s something very appealing to me about keeping the training + racing as their own little gemstone for me, and me alone, to polish.
Dimity says: This is a tough one. Really depends on the number of vacation days you have and the relationship between you and your boss. The goodie-goodie in me says tell the boss and take the day off, but I realize there’s probably a reason why she didn’t do that.
So I would’ve just gone naked for the Relay. No phone; only occasional glances at it to make sure all is quiet on the homefront. Having done this for other stretches of time in my life, my guess is that she found it surprisingly refreshing and was able to concentrate on the miles and the laughter as they happened, instead of concentrating on documenting it.
(And afterwards? There’s always dropbox for sharing photos.)
What did this mother do?
Our Mother Runner says: Oh, you bet I ran! And as Ragnars go, of course, there was plenty of The Unexpected so I ended up running even more than I planned to. Hello, 27 miles on legs that haven’t covered more than 8 since early June! Zoinks.
Work-wise, it all turned out fine. On Monday when I returned, my supervisor didn’t pry into the family sick day I had called in. I had asked my teammates not to tag me in social media posts so that kept that noise down. I have one work friend who is a runner so I discreetly shared the info with her and gave her a gander at my 7.5 remaining toenails.
What would you have done? And do you have your own What Would Another Mother Runner Do dilemma?