[[This is the fourth in our Running Through It series; today, we hear from #motherrunner Carrie Meconis and how her running played a part of her pregnancy and having premature twins.]]

The only thing I could think about for almost every hour of every day was making it to 37 weeks.

You see, when the doctor looked at me and told me it’s not one baby but two in there, my mind immediately jumped to all of the complications of that news. I was eventually happy, sure, but that took many weeks to sink in. My first reaction was tears…and fear…and panic.

After the knee-jerk question of “Are you sure?”, the second question out of my mouth was “Can I keep running and for how long?” I ran all the way through my last pregnancy and there was no way I was going to make it through the following months if I couldn’t at least keep moving forward.

And for me, moving forward means any pace faster than a walk. My sanity was literally going to depend on it.

I ran. Almost every day in the beginning, I woke before the sun and hit the sidewalk. I would let my mind wander but ultimately it always came back to the two babies growing inside me. Two babies. How was I going to do this with two already at home? And with a husband that is never home and whose schedule is the complete opposite of mine?

I’m not a single mom by any stretch of the imagination, but I do solo parent about 95% of the time. Not to mention, how were we going to afford this living in New York City thing when our daycare costs were already through the roof? The questions would not leave me alone.

But the one that haunted me the most wasn’t about logistics: Was what if I had to deliver these babies early? I had heard the horror stories and when I first found out I was a pregnant with twins, I stupidly read about even more preemie stories. I tried not to think about it and I certainly would not allow myself to think that was going to happen to me. So I ran to quiet my mind. And I kept running until my body couldn’t anymore.

At 22 weeks,the weight became too much on my hips.

The many weeks that followed were long and uncomfortable. I tried to walk and stay active but over time even that became difficult. I ended up having to go to a chiropractor twice a week to dull the pain just enough so that I could keep getting up and going to work every day. It was my longest stretch without running since I started way back when. I have always been active in some way, shape or form. But now any movement at all was painful; the lack of doing anything active was detrimental to my mental state. I had a difficult time getting through each day.

And that was only the beginning.

33 weeks arrived. Something was off but I ignored it. Saturday was a normal day, taking my oldest to ballet, naptime and movies on Netflix so Mommy could stay horizontal. But something was not right. Before bed I stood staring at the mirror and had a long chat with my belly. “It’s not time yet folks. It’s too early. You two stay put, you hear me?!!”

They didn’t listen.

That night, my water broke about 20 minutes after I fell asleep. It was a fast and furious and a scary few hours that landed us in the neonatal intensive care unit, NICU, for the next chapter of our journey.

For the next 38 days, the NICU was my second home. I was juggling two kids at home and two kids in the hospital. Leaving either duo was hard. I wanted things to remain as normal as possible at home but both girls kept asking when they could they meet their brother and sister. The big kids weren’t allowed at the hospital since it was flu season—another extremely frustrating fact of the situation.

I longed to go for a run but since I was healing too, that wasn’t an option. The NICU is a strange place where times seems to stand still. I would enter their room and feel like I was transported to a whole other planet. Then I would exit the hospital and be thrown back into the realities of the traffic and people and New York City. What’s more, my job didn’t expect me to be out that early so I was trying to tie up loose ends there as well as take care of everyone else. I had no outlet for myself or my fears.

Finally, it was time to bring them home. I had my 6-week checkup on the same day they came home, and my doctor cleared me for exercise as well.

My first run back was exactly 8 weeks after they were born. It was a 2 mile slow walk/jog. I’ll never forget how my whole body ached and hated each step. It was as if I had never run before. But my mind was free. My soul was happy. And I cried pretty much throughout the entire run.

All those weeks of worry and fear and anxiety all came out in those 2 miles. It was then I realized how much pain I had been holding in my body and my heart. I was supposed to be the strong one through all this and hold it all together for two older children, my husband, and of course for my helpless babies in the hospital. I wasn’t allowed to show fear or sadness to my girls. They needed me strong. So in those 2 miles, it all came out… I allowed myself to feel weak, scared and sad.

I ran again the next week and the week after that. Slowly building up to twice a week, then three and so on. It took a long, long time. Longer than coming back after my first and second child. Longer than I expected. About six months in, I finally started feeling a bit better. I also had an amazing support group of BAMRs that I run—and drink—with on a regular basis and that made all the difference in the world. One in particular that had experienced the NICU as well.

 

I also revived my Another Mother Runner podcast feed that had some timely messages about getting back into training and finding your groove. Finally a year after that first run back, I ran the NYC Marathon for the second time. My fifth marathon in total.

I am still suffering from a minor case of PTSD from the time in the NICU and still have moments of fear or panic. When I feel it bubbling to the surface, I try to get out the door as soon as I can. Running for me is not about running away from it, but running to find peace with it. I let my mind and my body really feel it. The run takes care of the rest.

Have you Run Through It—a challenging situation or stage in life—at some point? We want to hear from you!

Write up your essay (no more than 1,200 words, please), then email it to us. We’ll be in touch when we can publish it. Thanks!

Note: Since February is the month of L❤VE—and the Olympics—we are devoting our Mondays at Another Mother Runner to Fast #Motherrunners we L❤VE. Although their training miles and splits are vastly different than ours, their perspectives—fitting it in, wanting the best from and for themselves—mirror the lives of every busy, ambitious female runner out there. 

 

Wednesdays are Alysia Montano’s days “off” running. The middle-distance track star and mother of two sets it aside for the administrative work of various business ventures.

Wednesday mornings also provide an opportunity for a treat—specifically, a mocha from the local coffee shop.

On this particular Wednesday morning, Alysia, 31, had a phone interview scheduled for 9:30. So she strapped her 12-week-old baby boy into his car seat, drove to the coffee shop, hauled the now-sleeping-baby-in-car-seat into the shop, placed her order, went to pay, and NO WALLET!

A kindly mother with three frolicking kids took pity on Alysia and said, “I am going to get this for you.”

Probably the kindly mother did not know she was buying mocha for an Olympian.

 

Alysia Montano is a seven-time U.S. 800-meter champion who ran in the 2012 Olympics with her trademark flower tucked behind her ear.

But Alysia is probably more famous for competing in the USATF Outdoor Track and Field Championships while quite visibly pregnant. TWICE.

 

In June 2014, she ran the 800-meter championships while eight months pregnant, her belly covered by a pink singlet, coming in last in 2:32.13 (try not to faint—that is “slow” for Alysia!). (Her doctors had cleared her to run.) She received a standing ovation.

A year later, with a healthy nearly-1-year-old at home, Alysia returned to the USATF championships and won the gold.

In June 2017, she was “only” five months pregnant. This time she wore just a sports bra—a Wonderwoman top, to be specific—and shorts. She came in last again, but the video of her run went viral.

 

 

Her social media bio reads “That pregnant runner.”

“It felt great to be honest,” Alysia says of her pregnant championship runs. “That is not my fast, it’s relative in that regard, so I was having a great time. I just didn’t want to be the first person to get lapped in the 800!”

Aster was born on November 24. Alysia is getting back on the track for twice-a-week workouts with her trainer. “My recovery was quick,” she says. “I healed quickly. In my range, I’m moving slow for me, but my goals are to get healthy.”

Juggling two little babies, a husband, a track career, and a sponsorship model that relies on her active social-media presence is not easy. Not a lot of elite athletes choose that path.

You schedule a phone interview during your 3-month-old’s “reliable” nap time, and the baby howls the whole time.

“This morning was just doing what it does and you just have to go with the flow,” Alysia says. “It keeps you grateful. I feel happy. Things could be easier, but I try to turn these things into a story to make sure every day ends with a little laugh.”

 

Oh yeah, can you guess where Alysia—lugging her mocha and Aster-in-car-seat— found her missing wallet?

ON TOP OF HER CAR!

Here are a few other fun facts about our favorite pregnant-running fast #motherrunner track star:

 

Goals for 2018

Restore my core. Post-partum with Linnea, I didn’t know where to start. I knew about activating my trans abdominis. Now I know so much more because I am an elite athlete. The best of the best professionals help me, and I want to provide that experience for women. I want to be a teaching tool for other people.

 

Training Week

Sundays I have a cardio day, have fun, run, maybe do the elliptical. Now that I am 12 weeks post-partum, I can do a little more, but it’s not necessary right now. Mondays and Fridays I do a plyo session. I like to do plyo crib squats during nap time. Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to the track with a trainer. A friend meets me there to babysit Aster. She wears him in a sling while he naps. Friday is a longer cardio days.

 

About Sponsorship

I am morphing my model a little. When I first came up in the track and field sphere, you needed a major shoe sponsorship. At the time, I was one of the very few elite athletes who chose running and motherhood. I like to put that in an avenue that is authentic for me. I’m working with Bob Strollers, Picky Bars, Roll Recovery, Herb-x, NYAC, and ShowerPill.

 

About Social Media

I love where you can be with social media, where you can let women see HOW. How can we make this happen? I relate to the working mom, to the stay-at-home mom, to the fitness mom. I want to have fun with my audience, and engage with them. Your customers are your family. And I’m such a people person that that matters to me.

 

Favorite Finish Line?

I don’t have one, to be honest. I think there isn’t a finish line. It’s good to be able to see it as an ongoing race. I’m down for this for the long haul.

 

“When people think of me as an elite or an Olympian, they may not realize that running makes me happy.”

 

What is the hardest part of the mother-runner balance?

Hardest part is the papa! I’m being really honest. You have to make time for THEM too. You have to have a balance between speech and love. Your kids are automatic, there’s no frustration: A baby needs me to do this, a 3-year-old needs me to do that. But you have to be compassionate about your partner’s needs too. You have to be careful in your speech, when you get frustrated, and be sensitive. Like when he comes home: Can you take Linnea to the park so I can run? Or do YOU need some of my time? Then today’s going to be an off day.

 

What do you love MOST about running?

I love the metaphor that I feel for running: the things you overcome, the freedom to just BE. It doesn’t have to always be this elite pursuit. When people think of me as an elite or an Olympian, they may not realize this makes me happy. I feel healthful, I feel good, I get this nice euphoric feeling, my brain is free. I can be the best version of myself for my family. Movement in life provides a healthful mindset. It’s like a reset button. I love that. It doesn’t have to be about running fast all the time, though it can be that, too. Fitness and running will be part of my life FOR EVER, regardless of my half-marathon time or whether I make an Olympic team, because being able to function and move makes me feel like I’m the very best version of myself.

 

 

 

There are a couple of running lessons I seem to be completely unable to learn.

Lesson 1: There will be weeks during training where nothing is easy and that is okay even though it feels like you should just give up on running because clearly you are terrible at it.

For example, I’m at the tail end of training for the Seaside School Half the first weekend in March, which means I’m now in the blessed taper. Before that, however, I needed to do two long runs: eight with the mid-four at race pace and an “easy” 14.

I was looking forward to the “Eminem” run. Eight miles right now seems like a quick little scamper. I laced up, suited up, and headed out with a spring in my step and a song in my heart. And hit a wall of wind and snow because the weather doesn’t care at all about my spring and my song.

I pulled myself through eight. There was swearing. There was wailing. There was more than one moment hen I had to convince myself to not just run home. There was only one mile of race pace, which just had to be good enough.

By comparison, the 14 miler, when it was about 20 degrees warmer, was a breeze.

My taper lined up nicely with a family trip for the kids’ winter break. Because of a long series of coincidences and a smattering of kismet, we were able to book a trip across the pond to Edinburgh, Scotland. It’s not the first place you think to go in February — but we knew it would likely be warmer there than at home, if nothing else, and booked the trip.

I know. I am a very lucky gal and am well aware of how much.

Lesson 2: If you go on a family trip that involves changing more than two time time zones, you will feel like hammered crap for enough days that bringing your running gear is more or less pointless. Good thing it’s taper time. The idea of 14 miles right now makes me want to barf a little bit. That could also be the jet lag.

While out and about, I did, however, notice that runners in the U.K. are really really awesome at making themselves be seen and that Edinburgh has some really really awesome trails that would be perfect for running but — see the first sentence. While we are having a great time, mostly, the idea of forcing my body to do more than get up and tourist makes me want to laugh a little, then maybe cry.

But it does look like a lovely place to run.

Lesson 3: Trying to write anything that makes any sense and is funny or enlightening, when you are sleepy, queasy, and trapped in a room with three other humans and the Olympics on the telly, is a bit of a trick. As much as I love my family, they make concentrated focus a challenge.

Lesson 4: Sometimes good enough just has to be good enough, you know? No race is worth giving up this time with my kids, who are getting closer and closer to leaving the nest with each passing second. There is always another race. There isn’t another February break with a 12- and 15-year old.

Lesson 5: Irn Bru is a taste I never need acquire.

Question: how do runners who travel a lot get their runs in when their body is fighting the time zone? You are amazing.