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Hump Day Giveaway: RLAM slang?

Fail Whale: what appears when Twitter is too busy to tweet. Never seen it before--I can't seem to condense my thoughts to 145 characters with ### thrown in--but I do like the picture and term.

You need creativity? Ask a RLAM'er. I asked for some sports bra terms on our Facebook page, and I ended up snorting water out of my nose when I scrolled through them. (I wish my kids were always as happy to help as you guys are.) A few that had me reaching for the Kleenex to control the damage:

Swoobs: Sweaty Boobs
Swooters: Sweaty Hooters
T.H.O.: Titty Hard On. (a.k.a. flashing the high beams)
Peakaboob: When things don't stay put on the side.
Poppin' Fresh Boobs: When things spill out of the top.
Marathon Tattoos or Tata Torture: Chafing.

Clearly, we can't leave it with only sports bras and their contents. You guys are too good and too funny. So I think we need a whole RLAM slang sheet, which I will promptly post under Our Faves.

Let us know: what lingo do you or your pals use on or with regard to a run? Any topic is game: what you call your best running friends; your creaky legs during mile one; your pre-run evac bathroom session; your favorite shoes; the blisters you get from new kicks; the gels you suck down; your running skirt; your favorite route; your least favorite route; the track you either love or loathe; the smell of the port-a-potty on race day morning; the schedule wrangling you do so you can fit in a run; you get the idea.

Similarly, any tone is game: funny, genuine, R-rated (although I had to ask what THO stood for, so don't expect me to be too quick on the uptake...), G-rated (any terms your kids have coined?).

They call these trainers in England and tekkies in South Africa. Give us a great term, and you can call them yours.

For your creativity and engaged brain cells, we're giving away a certificate for a pair of Brooks shoes to the best entry (read: it'll be our subjective judgment). Brooks capably carried me through 26.2 in 2007, during which I had a few choice, unprintable words at the end (which had nothing to do with the smart, efficient designs Brooks makes, of course). But because podiums have three steps, we'll also give a copy of Run Like A Mother to two random winners; it can either be your first copy, a replacement for your dog-eared, coffee-stained, battered-cover copy, or entertainment for a pal you want to encourage or inspire.

So all you Merriam Websters out there: hit us with your best words. I promise, I can take it; I'll read the comments without a beverage this time.

85 responses to “Hump Day Giveaway: RLAM slang?

  1. OK, I realize this is really icky, but if you get a really upset stomach when running, and you think it would feel sooo much better if you would just release a little gas, but that gas is followed by mass… that’s a shart…

  2. I never gave my ‘terminology’ much thought.
    I often attempt my long run on Sunday mornings when everyone is headed to church and call it my morning prayers.

  3. My husband and I have a “spandex effect.” About 12 years ago, we ran a marathon together and ended up behind a gentleman in white spandex shorts…only white spandex shorts.

    It motivated us to speed up a bit. So, when we get behind a visually distracting runner, we call it “the spandex effect” and are motivated to pick up the pace or take a potty break.

  4. Oh my. I need to get out more. These comments are great!

    I love my brooks and they each have a name – sweet babies, grape babies, cloud babies, and glycerine (which is their actual name, but I feel AWESOMER when they get laced up). I’m sure a need a new pair. Which would immediately be named free-babies.

  5. This is more of a non-runnning term, but my group of running friends uses the term “crosstraining” to refer not to actual crosstraining (like swimming), but to intimate activities pursued with one’s significant other.

  6. Well, I don’t have any funny ones to add to the list, but these got me laughing pretty hard! The only thing I have to add is my sweet kids have finally just adjusted to the fact that part of my day is no longer theirs to control: I’m moving for 45 minutes of the day, and they don’t dare ask for anything during that time. I now consider it a compliment when my daughter says “You must have had a good workout, mom. You are nice and sweaty!” [she is 6, and won’t hug me until after I shower, but I love hearing her say those words]

  7. A Dory run is one where I have to tell myself, Just keep swimming, swimming (or running, running) like the fish in Finding Nemo.

    And our jogging stroller/bike trailer is our “portable cheering section.” Nothing like two kids yelling “Go faster!” to motivate you!

  8. land mines : as in, some inconsiderate person left their dog’s poop IN THE MIDDLE of the paved
    trail.

    wilderness: the lovely smell i acquire when i’ve run outside. nevermind, that it was in suburbia.

    dehydration station: water stop

    OMD: “orchestral manoeuvres in the dark” is a run before sunrise, after sunset, my fave in this
    south texas heat!

    motion of the ocean: my flab jiggle. eww..i apologize, but it’s my truth.

    junk holders: the liners on running shorts for guys.

  9. The holy grail = my long run shoes

    BBTN = Barely better than nothing run or workout. I got out there but not too much else.

    Spurts = exertion-induced pee episodes

    Craptastic = horrible runs, these have been plentiful lately

    Character builders = hill workouts or runs in extreme heat/cold

    Run for the roses = BQ attempt

    Full moon rising = when my shorts or skirt is working its way south during a run

    Jet propelled = a gaseous run

    Involuntary speedwork = when I have to hurry up and finish my run because hubby is pacing in the driveway needing to leave for work.

    1. omg. i, fortunately, can’t relate to the “diarrheathons” that many experience. unfortunately, for me, i do many a jet propelled run. i just wish it actually made me faster. :/

  10. Sloggun – Slippery, soggy runs on the snow covered, icy, melting trails/streets in the winter.

    River Nile – the rivers of sweat running between the girls in these hot, humid days of summer.

    Who got skunked? – A gentle reminder to my husband that it’s time to switch out the running clothes hanging on the back of his closet door. Thankfully, his closet is in the guestroom:-)

  11. I have a few…

    Man Bra (or more commonly-and graphically-known as a “Ball Bra” in our house)–my husband refuses to wear a jock strap and only wears boxer short underwear, so when he goes for a run, he rolls his boxers up at the waist band (think junior high cheerleader) in order to keep his “goods from bouncing”. Gross, but necessary, I guess…

    Snot Snipered–when you pass another runner right as they are turning to the side and spitting or blowing a snot rocket.

    Jog Itch–(has nothing to do with jock itch!) when you don’t run every day but after having a good run one day, you can’t stand the thought of having to wait two more days to do it again and everywhere you walk, you think, “I could just run this and get there faster…”

    The Buble Effect–When a song sneaks it’s way into the shuffle on your iPod that isn’t necessarily the best running song and kind of puts a damper on your run. It’ll put you to sleep/mellow you out as fast as a Michael Buble song.

  12. snot rocket – when you hold one nostril closed and blow the boogers out of the other.
    slime yourself – when your snot rocket lands back on you.

  13. Here in Western PA those of us who run and Tweet fear the monster known as the “HFH” (Holy Frackin’ Hill, shortened for 140 character purposes). A run is then rated by the number of HFH’s, like my lunch break route, an evil but exhilarating 4HFH course.

  14. One of my running partners is fond of saying “Is a Brick a bike ride/ run, or something you have to make an emergency stop for on an early morning run?”

  15. “Puke Pace” – self-explanatory. Works during any speed workout.

    It was actually a 1/2 marathon clinic leader that said it last night as in “don’t go puke pace”. Of course, my leader (for the full) was more than happy to have us go puke pace!

  16. Against my strenuous objection, one of our trashier members named our running group the MILFers.

    Crotch rot is dripping wet running tights.

    Predator is another runner that sneaks up on you and passes you. When it’s an intentional overtake, it’s a kill, sometime road kill, sometimes a drive-by.

    Most of my group, the 8 minute milers are on the Varsity team. Sadly, I’m still on the JV team.

  17. Before we head out the door we have our “LPPM” which stands for “Last Possible Pee Moment”. I am now training on my own since my running partners are either not training or injured so I call myself “Lumpy Killjoy” the night before my long runs as I don’t drink any adult beverage and am in bed early. zzzzzzz.

  18. Part of the reason I started running *might* be that I always thought really good guy runners are hot–I like ’em lean (maybe because I am not and never have been!). My husband has that type of build–he was a HS x-country runner. So when I’m out running and I see a pro male runner or a group of them from the university track or x-country teams, I label them “cougar bait” or “caffeine,” the latter because they make me run a little faster (at least for the brief moment I’m in their line of sight) and the former because they’re all way younger than I am but when I see them go by (as in, passing me) I hold my head a little higher and throw my shoulders back like some silly teenager. (And just so you know it’s all about looking and not touching with the cougar bait, I still do this when I pass my husband cheering me on in a race, too–the kittens may look good, but the tomcat I’ve got at home–he’s the best, inside and out).

  19. Some of these comments made me laugh out loud! The one comment I make a lot is when I run on my treadmill….referred to as ‘me old faithful’ said in an English accent… as I am a Brit and need to hang onto some identity living in Georgia. (and, yes, I run in ‘me old trainers!’ lol…don’t really talk like that….much!)

  20. I have two:

    My dogs are barking. Translation: My feet are hurting either from bad shoes, bad socks, or a bad run.

    The girls are unhappy. Translation: My boobs are chaffed or not well enough contained during a run.

  21. Ok so I am in the gross category
    I also have weak GI track…got GERD also so longer runs are a challenge and I call what happens in the potty a “bomb” so I’ll tell my fiends I have an “incoming bomb situation!” they know what it means.

    For workouts…Hilly workout or races I call those “the enemy”

    1. We call our running group-Bob and his B*tches. (My hubby is the only man running with a group of women right now)

      My frequent urge to tinkle on runs ..I have self diagnosed as -Piss-a-phobia

  22. So… I had to start running when my back boobs started sweating. Searching for a new sports bra proved to be interesting.. because what i really needed is a UNIBOOB to make running somewhat enjoyable for the girls. The running skirts (some of them.. praise GOD for Mizuno) work really well because they protect me from the fire and sparks that were flying as I learned to run. Have you ever seen someone with a car muffler dragging the ground? Yep, that was me and imagine how all those poor saps felt running behind me. 🙂

    Thankfully things have changed a bit and I love Body Glide and chaffing is not as gruesome but my teens affectionately call the process… “priming the pistons”.

    And I need new shoes really bad. 🙂 Love ya’ll.

  23. Did anyone say, “pop a squat” yet? You know…pee beside the road…I gotta pop a squat. That and swass are my favs. My daughters always tell me I have swass. Oh, but also funny, in my house we say I suffer from the disease “noassatall” lots of runners have it. It’s a fact. And, yes, even with noassatall you can still get swass.

  24. I only refer to those bad cramps during my runs as the Ugly Green Hand. When I get those super bad cramps, I always envision this ugly, bony, green hand with warts… Very similar to what the Wicked Witch from Wizard of Oz would have. I envision that hand grabbing my uterus and just twisting. Weird, but that’s what those awful cramps remind me of.

  25. Zen Runner – is the runner who won’t wave, smile, nod, look or in any way acknowledge your presence as you pass by. We generally give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they’re in “the zone” otherwise we’d call them something else.

    Cycling Cassanova – the guys biking on the trails with waaaaaay too much cologne on.

    The Sahara – the one stretch killer stretch at the end of trail I run that’s a gradual uphill with no trees for shade.

  26. Like most women, I have two kids, a husband, and a fulltime job. I call running “THERAPY”. When I tell my husband I need a “therapy session”, he knows I’m either going for a run or going to the gym.

  27. Our running group reserves a special place in the fridge for Moosehead Light beer…so as an homage to moose we call ourselves “The Herd”. We ARE a herd. We look out for each other while running roads or just navigating through life. Significant others and children get dragged in for post-run pot lucks. We even have our own facebook page 🙂

    1. Oh my gosh – that one is perfect. It doesn’t matter what the tags say on shorts, or underwear, or anything – I always get wedgies!

  28. Running is supposed to make you happy. When you are on the road or trail you should be working hard but you should also be supportive and friendly to others that you see. If you’re not enjoying it, then what’s the point? Therefore, anyone I see running (or walking or biking or exercising in any form) who doesn’t give me a wave or a “hey” or whatever in response to my chipper “nice work” is a FAUX-RUNNER. (Word play with foe-runner?… Get it?…. I know, if you have explain the joke there’s probably no Brooks involved. Alas….)

  29. Barnacle Buster: Any thing/person/activity used to distract, deter, and detach one’s children from their legs thus freeing said mother for a run.

  30. When it’s too hazy, hot & humid out (or vice versa – too cold/rainy/snowy), I run on the “dreadmill”. I’d much prefer to run outside of course, but sometimes it’s a choice of using the dreadmill, or not running at all.

    I love some of the comments -0mg- swamp ass is a particular favorite!

  31. I heard this from a friend who was training for a marathon. It is defined exactly the same as the previous mention of “prairie dog,” only my friend called it “turtle head.” 🙂

  32. Not my favorite memory and a little gross, but a few years ago I ran a marathon hundreds of miles from home. For dinner the night before I ate Spaghetti at a little family owned Italian place (I was in a strange town and had to wing it). During the marathon the next day I must have hit every porta-potty along the course, so I refer to that particular race as my “diahrrea-thon”. I know. Bad.

  33. Running: Geriatric Style: Taped feet (paper, of course) and compression stockings. Anything over three miles makes me look fresh from the retirment home (which I run past). Heck, I even have a crowd of old men who greet my every Thursday.

  34. I don’t have a good one, but at my last half marathon I witnessed one. A perfectly toned, coiffed and outfitted female runner exited a Porta Potty, raised her arms in the traditional victory V and then bowed to her entourage of about seven other enthusiastic runners. They cheered and yelled and hollered, “way to Slay the Dragon!” Now my family announces, “I’m gonna go Slay the Dragon” on the way to the bathroom all the time. Weirdos….

  35. Those with weak stomachs may want to skip this comment! I always have a lousy stomach race morning. I fondly call what happens in the porta potty…”La Bufadora”, which is Spanish for “The Blowhole,” a place I once visted on a cruise to Ensenada. Sadly for me, it is incredibly appropriate.

  36. I have been told I have the sense of humor of a 5th grade boy, so much of my slang falls into the potty humor category and might not be fit to print. But my cleanest one, a phrase from my 8 yr old son — your “coin slot” is showing– when my low cut running shorts ride a tad too low in the back. That’s why I’m moving to the skirt!

  37. I name each hill I run over after my kids and husband–the super steep killer one- my hard headed firstborn-Tryin’ Ryan. The rolling kind-to-your knees one? My mild mannered 2nd born No ache Jake. The deceptivly killer make you want to jump off the planet one? My 3rd son My MAX attack. Finally the one that ties all those three together- the one named after my husband Dan-I think I can …. HILL OF DEATH. Okay it doesnt rhyme but both go through my mind every day. Every single day.

    And on another tip all together, the gas that shoots out mostly when you are running by people (god forbid it would happen the 90% of the time when you are ALONE *ugh*) a Rart (running fart). I did one of those today. Sorry man with dogs and unnattractive camo shirt. I did look at his dog and shake my head but Im pretty sure my sudden sprint gave it away. Im like a damn steam engine. (<;

  38. Well I was going to say Swass, but someone already took it. There’s also swoosy, hope that doesn’t need an explanation. “do I have too much swass or swoosy to hit Walmart on the way home from the gym?” The RLAMF’s might have swalls.

    {heart my Brooks!}

  39. Mountain Dew – boob sweat…..it’s the worst!

    Chub rub or hungry thighs (eating my shorts)

    These are all SOOO funny! Everyone has such great potty humor 🙂

  40. Funny you should mention it…my husband and I were just talking about this last night. I think of us (moms who run) all as “RLAMs”….which we think makes partners who run (like my husband) “RLAMFs”. I hope I don’t have to explain that one.

  41. I guess this may go more with the bra quotes but still mainly refers to my runs…I make my husband, running partners and (poor, scarred) children check for my “googly eyes”. My breasts aren’t quite what you would call firm, they pretty much sag and when I “lift and place” them I need to make sure my nipples are even-otherwise I get “googly eyes”. Not pretty!

  42. These are all great. Here’s what I call the ritual bathroom visit before running or racing … “dropping the kids off at the pool”… Probabl more crude than funny, but hey we all do it!!

  43. Nursing Mom – the look I get when I do a rehearsal triathalon. I swim in my tri shorts and sports bra (under a wet suit), then throw on a tank for the bike and the run. By the time I finish I look like a nursing mom anxious to get back to her baby (the sports bra is wet from the swim and I end up with 2 big wet circles you know where). The only problem my “baby” is 7 and I haven’t nursed him in 5 years!

  44. This is gross but it is what it is!

    Prairie Dogging is what I call it when the urge to poop is, well, urgent…like it almost escapes and then not, the way a prairie dog goes in and out of his house.

    I run in a rural area so when I have to answer nature’s call, I say I have to talk to a cornstalk.

  45. Runner’s dip dye. That effect that occurs on particularly sweaty runs when your completely sweat soaked shirt starts to visibly dampen your shorts/tights/skirt from the waist, slowly working it’s way down. It’s VERY attractive.

  46. I feel totally uncreative after reading the post and the comments. The ONLY thing I can think of is that I call my favorite cross-country place at the back of my neighborhood, my “grassy track”…I know, I know, it’s not cute, but it should at least get me in the running (teehee) for the Brooks. I was running in the blistering heat/humidity Sunday evening and my 9 year old called me from the house phone to tell me she washed her apple before she cut it. I told her I was on my way back from my run and she said she would have to call me right back. I told her “DON’T.” That’s pretty cute, right? Throw me a freaking bone. LOL…

  47. Everyone is so funny! I love the ones on facebook, too. Okay, I call my running partner my Step Sister. And this might be TMI, but um, my libido goes way up when I’m training and we refer to doing it as XXXtraining (cross cross cross training).

  48. Everyone is so funny! I love the ones on facebook, too. Okay, I call my running partner my Step Sister. And this might be TMI, but um, my libido goes way up when I’m training and we refer to doing it as XXXtraining.

  49. For whatever reason, my heels have formed big, ugly calluses that I can’t get rid of. When I go for a pedicure, I call it “heel damage,” the result of pounding the pavement.

  50. My husband and I are both marathon runners, work full time, and have four kids under the age of ten and we live in Atlanta GA. Do I even need to say that there is never enough time in the day and it is usually hot and humid? Many times our cool down (what cool down?) and showers are rushed. We always say “my shower didn’t take” to characterize the non-stop sweating that continues when the body is still running despite the transition to normal clothing and activities!

  51. My daughter has seen advertisements for a kids tri that they do here in the summer. I told her she could “train” for next summer when she turns 6 (hoping she will learn to ride that 2 wheeler!) and she tells everyone she is “training for a tri-outline.”. Also, after an early morning run, I like to tell myself I am “breaking the finish tape” back in our yard by jumping through the sprinkler. Fun and refreshing!

  52. Being a well hydrated running momma I have to take potty breaks often! My running buddies know that when I ” have to tie my shoe” I mean I’m ducking off the trail to take a quick leak. It is hilarious now because even the men use the code!!

  53. Gu-doo – (1) n. – The product of intestional distress brought about by consuming Gu. (2) v. The act of depositing the product of intestinal distress in PortaPotties.

  54. I am sure this one is pretty common, and not exclusive to running but:

    Snot rockets – blowing your nose into the air (preferably to the side of the road) by holding one side of your nose to block the nostril and blowing out the other side, while running because you don’t have a tissue

  55. Hungry Butt: When your underwear constantly rides up your crack while running. (I realize a lot of women don’t wear underwear. That’s definitely a good fix.)

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