I’ve entered the season millions of moms endure every year, including me. It’s the season of watching grass grow: AKA Little League Baseball. 

My 11-year old is rocking the 13U league right now. While these games offer a bit more action packed than the days of coach pitch and t-ball, the inaction leads to plenty of time to chat with fellow moms, stare at the open sky, and grapple with the meaning of life while awaiting the next big play. 

Despite investing in an extra padded camp chair, my butt hates these games due to the numbness that occurs via hours of sitting. That said, I’ve come to love this time of year. It forces me to slow down. To take a beat to ask myself if I am living with intention. If my day-to-day actions reflect the person I want to become. Perhaps that seems heavy for a little league game, but I don’t think so. I think it is the universe providing me space to practice some serious self-care.  

Sometimes the question comes at the end of a long hot, humid summer day of full-on parenting mode where I dream of binge-watching Gilmore Girls and snacking on sunflower seeds in air conditioning. Other times, it follows rapid-fire hours of hammering away on a keyboard, and living off-grid sounds like absolute bliss. And, it almost always comes when a nagging thought creeps into my head. Should I be training? I’m once again finding an excuse to put my health on hold, just to watch my son play ball.  

I used to beat myself up during these moments. To cite them as another failure in the never-ending quest of self-care while still “having it all”. You know, that magical myth called balance?  

Luckily for me, those days are over. 

Now, I give myself grace. I use this grass growing season, which happens to coincide with the midpoint of the year, as a chance to evaluate where I’ve been and where I’m going. It is an opportunity to pause and ponder what season I am in right now and whether my ambition and intention set at the beginning of the year still lands with me. What’s changed? What’s been added? What needs to go? As Henry David Thoreau once said, “It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is what are we busy about?” 

I imagine some BAMRs are wondering what this has to do with running. The answer is simple. Everything. Gone are the days where I commit to a half-marathon in January only to beat myself up for five months for not hitting my training goals during the summer. Instead, I look at life in June and ask, “What do I have time for and desire to accomplish this summer for a fall race?” No judgment. No shame. Just real-talk about where my priorities are at and how I want to show up every day and then building goals and my calendar around who I want to become versus what others might think I should be. 

The truth is, I still need that goal. That sense of purpose and race hardware that helps me stay on-track. Left unchecked, I inhale bags of tortilla chips with a side of margaritas and wonder why I feel lethargic.  

But with the right goal and the right passion, my Saturday jog isn’t met with a sense of dread. Instead, it is a dedicated time to move my body, listen to my favorite podcasts, and be present. To just focus on one foot in front of the other. On my last run, I took a break midway to lie in the grass and check out the clouds. It was a perfect summer day. I finished that run with an extra pep in my step. All part of my attempt to find joy in the journey and peace with how I approach each day. And what better way to make the most out of America’s Favorite Past time, then choosing what matters. 

BAMRs – what mid-year goals are you setting or letting go of this year?