If my tootsies could talk, this is the conversation I’d imagine they’ve be having lately.
Leftie: I can’t keep this up much longer, Right—this Chick is more of a ball-buster than I am! I’ve been trying to get Her to take a break for years now, but no dice: She just powers through, no matter how much I make Achilles tendon hurt. I started messing with Her, throbbing and aching, when She was training for that marathon back in 2009. I really cranked up the pain-dial when She did those two marathons last year, but She was unrelenting. Not even an extra day off—I get no respect.
Right: I know, my friend, I’m embarrassed I silently stood by while you were causing all the commotion. Aren’t you proud I finally summoned up my courage to let out one big holler two weeks ago when She was doing those crazy 400s at the track? Come on: Like doing two half-marathons last month wasn’t enough pounding on us? Well, I showed her.
Leftie: Right, that was wack: No matter how my pain I inflicted, She never walked. Then, out of the blue, you pull that hissy-fit, and She has to hobble home. It was righteous.
Right: Aw, shucks, thanks. I decided enough is enough. She needs to give us—and the rest of her Bod—a rest, but She wasn’t getting your message, so I told Her, too. Plus, I gotta admit: I was jealous of you getting all the attention, like that nice physical therapist rubbing you with those tools of hers. Even Calf was getting some of that action. It sure seemed like it felt good. Even you, tough guy, couldn’t hold out—you finally relented and stopped being all swollen and ouch-y.
Left: Yeah, those sessions were pretty sweet. But being shoved into a big bowl of ice cubes was no picnic…
Right: Did you catch what She subjected me to after my temper tantrum at the track? She nearly wore a hole in the ground, rolling on that barbell-looking thing back and forth, back and forth. I tried my best to maintain that bump in the middle of my heel, but it was no match for that obsessive rolling. She rolled the entire time She was watching some flick with that friend of Hers—you know, the one with bigger dogs than us. And when that PT told Her to roll me on a frozen water bottle, I couldn’t keep it up any longer.
Leftie: Yeah, you were always the goodie-two-shoes one.
Right: I have to, um, hand it to you: I admire you for being able to stay sore at Her for years—I’m having trouble keeping it going. Especially when she rubs that stuff on me. It feels so nice and makes me go all soft on her. But, Leftie, while you raised a ruckus for years, I’m the one who made Her snap to attention.
Leftie: Gotta give you props: I’ve noticed Brain-o fretting big-time—never known him to worry so much. Thinking maybe the pain you were sending out was a serious injury like that big-footed friend kept getting. Seems like She is finally getting our message. What’s it been, 10 days with no running?
Right: Yeah. Last time we caught a break like that, She had those two babies in Belly.
Leftie: Although it’s not exactly easy street for us. She’s got us constricted in these tighter-than-all-get-out socks. I mean, come on, She sleeps in them, then wears them all day. We only gain our freedom when She takes a shower—which ain’t that often now that there’s no running.
Right: Uh, yeah, I was going to mention that to you. About that stink…