Today’s post is by longtime contributor BAMR Pam, who loves to push her limits in new and unique ways. Pam shares how she mustered her courage after months of hard work and crossed a different kind of finish line.
After months of training, the big day finally arrived. I lined up with my crew of badass women: not on the road, but on the stage.
The adult hip hop number regularly steals the show at Project SLIDE’s annual recital, and it’s a toss-up which was higher: expectations or my level of anxiety. While I spent 15 years becoming a runner before my first marathon, only eight months elapsed between my first hip hop class and dancing in front of 1,000 people. This felt far more terrifying.
Practice makes perfect
Over the last three years of my post-racing existence, I’d forgotten how deeply working toward a once-impossible goal alongside a group of supportive women enriched my life.
And then recital prep started.
Suddenly dance gave shape to my days. I cut back hours at the boxing gym to protect my body and make space for extra practices. The music ran through an increasingly present loop in my head as I reviewed each new piece of choreo over and over: practicing in front of every mirror, out on walks, off-camera in meetings.
Classmates became teammates as we laughed, sweated, and ate as a unit. Folks shared tips, interpretations of moves, words of encouragement. Frustration as recital day loomed closer with more than one unfilled 8-count. Cautious optimism as the number began to come together. Fear we would disappoint our fans.
The full performance
Recital day dawned, both like and unlike race day: fitful sleep with dreams of failure, clothes and accessories laid out just so, nervous excitement. But also sleeping in, showering, smokey eyes, and bright red lips.
In the holding room, our crew of pleather-clad bad-asses contrasted with the sequined rainbow of middle-grade dancers, though we all chatted, fretted, and ran through our routines. My thoughts cycled through: “Do I remember the dance? Do I remember how to dance? What if I freeze? What if I slay?”
It was exactly like race day, except with air conditioning and indoor plumbing.
The hours passed slowly until they didn’t. All of a sudden, adult hip hop was called to line up backstage. Fellow dancer Emily huddled us up for a hype talk, challenging us to leave everything out there on that stage as we danced for those who couldn’t be there and those who were.
We took our positions. The music started and I gave myself over to the collective joy, camaraderie, and energy of our crew and danced my ever-loving heart out.
Pam with daughter Amelie
Was I perfect? Nope. Did I let that trip me up? Also, no. Was it possibly the most fun I’ve ever had? Absolutely. Will you see me back on stage next year with this badass crew? Hell yes.
I love this! After many years of contemplation, I actually signed up for an adult tap class this year. I’m taking it with my daughter (who has been in dance for years). Tonight is the dress rehearsal and tomorrow the recital. Although I did dance as a kid, it’s been a good 30+ years. All the nerves but it has been so much fun to challenge myself with something new and completely different!
I never danced as a kid but have been dancing hip hop as an adult for a few years now. (My daughter also dances, and at some point all my kids have danced at this studio!) I didn’t think I would like performing on stage when I started, but it’s the highlight for me of months of hard work and putting myself out of my comfort zone! I’m thinking of trying jazz next year…a new challenge!