Want to know more about Ashley, our PBAMR? Read her first post here.
How am I 20-weeks pregnant already? I have no idea. This pregnancy has seemed to fly in comparision to with Reesie Roo in the womb. I will fully admit that BOB2 (which stands for Baby on Board #2) has gotten the short end of the stick when it comes to all the pregnancy rituals. There have been zero weekly bump photos. I haven’t purchased any teeny tiny socks.
The one thing BOB2 has received that Reese did not is exercise. With Reese I was a super sick blob who took full advantage of the couch and the “I’m pregnant” excuse. Reese may look cute and innocent now, however, she had me hurling any food or liquid I consumed until I was about 7 months along. Plus my husband has a sweet tooth and would often claim “the baby needs me to go on an ice cream run for us.” I rarely contested.
With BOB1, the most I exercised was in my softball league -- and I am fairly certain my friends let me play for the entertainment value. Unfortunately, all of this meant this meant I gained way too much weight. In a twisted way I am happy I got a little plump, though, as it is what lead me to running and, ultimately, the AMR community. I was overweight with a beautiful little lady who needed her rockstar mama back, both physically and mentally.
Because I’d suffered a miscarriage right before my BOB2 pregnancy, I was nervous the same could happen this time around. Even though deep down I knew that baby was not healthy and I needed to trust in my body to get it right the next time, I still couldn’t help but question what the heck “I” did wrong. Was I running too hard? Was I pushing my body beyond a baby’s limit? I knew the answer was “no” but I doubted myself. Running became my saving grace. It gave me time to process each one of these questions and believe that I didn’t do anything wrong. As much as I would love to tell you all I navigated these question all on one 5-miler, it took weeks.
My running groove came back along with a positive pregnancy test. BOB2 was in there. I was pregnant. I was overjoyed -- but the questions all started flooding in again. Should I be running? Should I be playing volleyball and softball? Would this baby stick? On top of my own self doubt, some small bleeding just reinforced my concerns. I was afraid to even sneeze. I stopped running until I heard that little heartbeat and the bleeding was cleared by the doctor.
During this hiatus I realized two things: this PBAMR needs her runs more mentally than physically and, as much as I needed to run for myself, this PBAMR’s family needed me to keep running for them, too. I needed to be that rockstar mama to Reesie Roo and BOB2 that I signed up to be when we took this parenting leap. Running now, with Baby BOB2 inside, has shown me that I am 20 times than I ever thought. I am absolutely amazed at what my body can do while growing another human and I cannot wait to see what the next 20 weeks of running has in store for us.