While I bear more than a passing resemblance to Martha Stewart in her younger days, people are often shocked I have a a fair bit of domestic goddess in me. It’s as if running precludes any homey pursuits: Other mothers stop in their tracks when I mention I cook and bake from scratch; there are many puzzled looks when I admit to needlepointing several pillows on our living room couches. Two of my three remaining magazine subscriptions are Runner’s World…and Bon Appetit. When I get home from a 15-mile training run, I find it immensely satisfying to chop vegetables for a hearty soup, then get warm by stirring in the barley and lentils and checking the flame to ensure a steady simmer. Or to gather the kiddos around to beat the butter and sugar to make tollhouse cookies (and eat the dough without any guilt!).
But the around-the-home hobby I long to immerse myself in is gardening. In our Portland neighborhood–a patchwork of close-together homes, most on small lots–gardens dazzle the senses for much of the year. Our temperate, moist climate produces a riot of long-lasting, fragrant flowers and shrubs in every imaginable shade of green. I long to have a sumptuous, diverse array of plants in our yard, a mere 50 by 100 feet, yet I’ll be damned if I can find the energy to train for a marathon and maintain a garden. That’s the domestic combination that confounds me.
Yet in the last overcast, damp month, I’ve found myself working out in yard. A few weekends ago, while the kids had two sisters over to play, I finally dug out our post hole digger and went to work planting two dozen daffodil and narcissus bulbs. It was a task I’ve honestly been meaning to do for the last three autumns. Given our dense clay soil, it was demanding physical labor, and my back paid the price the next few days. But I was so filled with pride, I told my parents about it once on the phone and twice in letters! (And, gee, now here I am telling you.)
Then, on Sunday, the moment I finished a 5-mile run, I grabbed a rake and some clippers and spent an hour cleaning out the slanted myrtle beds surrounding our front yard. I was still sporting my orange running vest, and Jack joked I looked like I was fulfilling hours of community service. It was just one more reason to smile as I worked
Later, I finally realized why I’ve had the get-up-and-go-outside urge–and energy–to garden: It’s because I’ve been training for a half-, not a full, marathon. After an 8-, 10-, or 12-mile run, I can shower and attack the rest of the day with a vigor and enthusiasm that’s missing after an 18- or 20-miler. After a long marathon training run, the only bulbs I see are lightbulbs–as I turn on a lamp to read sprawled on our bed, letting the kids play Wii to their hearts’ content. And the only dirt is the celebrity gossip I glean from Entertainment Weekly (the third mag I still subscribe to).
A few months ago, I was so emotionally committed to gardening instead of marathoning, I vowed I’d stick to 13.1-mile races in 2013 so I could get my hands dirty on a more regular basis. But the siren song of a longer race is calling my name, and I’m on the verge of signing up for a May marathon. I’m a domestic goddess in turmoil. Tell me, mother gardeners: How do you balance training with making your garden grow? Or is it an either/or proposition?
Try as I may I can not master the gardening either! Between my own (half) training, my 3 boys (6, 4, 1, and hopefully one in the oven soon) I can’t figure it out! I’d love to grow a veggie/herb garden and a beautiful flower garden too but like my loving husband says “I have a black thumb not a green one!”
Schedule yourself accordingly. If theres a will , theres a way. You’ve got this.
Remeber how badly an unkempt garden, like an under trained body, can make you feel. It is worth the time and effort for the joy it brings to your soul.
I was a gardener before I began running. I receive the same sort of calm from running as from gardening.I have never run a Marathon and I do think gardening is a part of the reason. I like 1/2s and can manage the garden and training.
Start slow with the gardening and watch it grow. It does take time, but it is worth the effort. A great activity for children and in my case now, grandchildren.
I have to admit I can’t stand gardening, but if I use gardening as a metaphor for other things in life, I’m finding that training for a half leaves me much more time for those things. Since the weather has taken a turn for the crappy here in Wyoming, it’s much easier to face a long run of 13 miles in cold weather or on the treadmill than it is to think about going longer than that.
Post-workout is the best time to garden. You’re already sweaty & in need of a shower, so adding some dirt is no big deal. Plus it’s a nice way to cool down from a long or hard run.
First- You guys are both just gorgeous!! Love this picture of you both.
I can’t help with the gardening. I have a black thumb. Luckily my husband has a green thumb. I’m the cook and baker in the family too. I like nothing more than to cook a big dinner for 10+ people. Makes my day! People are often shocked at that aspect of me too.
You are so dear, Karen. I’ve only been seeing wrinkles when I look in the mirror lately, so I really appreciate your compliment. xo
Aaahhh! I miss gardening in the winter. I have never done a full marathon (& only 3 halves…), but I could totally understand why you wouldn’t have energy after those LONG runs. I just love seeing things bloom, getting my hands dirty and my body sweaty. It is such a feeling of connectedness with Earth and God to me. Totally worth it! We can’t do everything, though….as mothers, wives, runners, gardeners, maids, chauffeurs….sometimes something has to give, so we can have a life we love, too.:-)
I don’t garden but I do identify with the debate about race length for 2013. I look forward to hearing about your process.
I’ve been a gardener forever and with my 2nd marriage found the solution to having enough energy to work outside even when other parts of my life (read running) take up most of my focus. I married a man who enjoys digging holes and planting and fertilizing and mowing and the whole nine yards. I do as much as I want to or can and he happily picks up the slack. Cool.
Wise move, Elizabeth. Hubby #2 for me does yardwork, but not “gardening” per se. Well, I take that back: He does, but it’s the most random sort. Like two artichoke plants, an asparagus one, and loads and loads of strawberry groundcover. I feel I need to pull out most of what he’s done to reclaim some real estate….
I love to garden and the best reminder is that I pass my garden when I leave/return from 90% of my runs. Weeding, watering etc is a great way to stretch and cool down and yet another great thing to do with kids. They are delighted nurturing those little plants til they eat the veggies before they can get into the house to be cooked! It takes time in the spring to plan and plant, but then 10 minutes a day in the summer is easy to maintain it! Go SBS!
I use gardening for cross training. It’s a great workout but it is hard on your back and legs so I try and schedule on a day before a lighter run. Or I do it the day after my long run. It can be done! By the way, I have a friend who refers to herself as “Martha Halfa$$” because while she has some Martha Stewart tendencies, she always falls a bit short. Who wouldn’t! ;-). Maine Marathon on May 12th???
Erica, love the Martha Halfa$$ nickname! My favorite shirt of all times spied in a race was in my first marathon. (In 1998) On the back it said, “I want to be Martha: That bitch can do anything!” Still makes me laugh 14 years later!
Thanks for suggestion for Maine, but I have Vancouver, BC, in my sights (May 5). But Mount Desert Island Marathon intrigues me….
I don’t plant a lot of flowers – just some bulbs, and perennials – stuff that doesn’t require a lot of maintenance. What I do make time for, though, is our vegetable garden. LOVE growing our own veggies every year, and once everything’s in the ground, it’s pretty low-maintenance, except for weeding – and harvesting!
I have the same three magazine subscriptions! We are kindred spirits I guess:) I have this theory that only one room in my house can be “really” clean at a time. The same goes for my hobbies. Since my lovely kids require most of my time, I have to pick only one interest to give my full attention. Once I try to fit in more than one hobby, my type A personality becomes unsatisfied with the end results (everything ends up being done half ass). Maybe once my kids get older (they are 4 and 6), I will be able to find the time to fit in a bit more “me” time:)
I love your theory about only one room being “really clean.” Geez, that’s a whole ‘nother area I could fret about. I am SO envious of homes that have “a place for everything, and everything in its place.” So NOT me and my domain. Sigh.
I love half-marathon training, too. I’m afraid I have a black thumb, though, especially in Colorado where it’s so dry that xeriscaping is the best way to go. I tried to hack out some holes for tulip/daffodil bulbs last fall and it was so hard I didn’t even bother this year.
I signed up for the Eugene Marathon in your neck of the woods in late April. Any chance you’ll be there? :^)
I hate yardwork, so I’m lucky to have a husband who does all of it.
BC (before children) I was an avid gardener. Now I feel I have another important role to play: my shaggy unkempt garden/yard serves to make my neighbor’s yards look way better by comparison. :)
1. You have slaves, I mean children, for a reason :). At our house, they are part of the crew, period. Many hands make light work, as the saying goes.
2. Your yard doesn’t have to be perfect. Gardening done imperfectly still blesses your heart and your yard.
3. Once you get things situated (with your eager helpers), it *really* doesn’t take a ton of maintenance. We aren’t avid weeders, and our garden still looked decent with 5 minutes of weeding here and there.
4. Don’t laugh but probably 75% of the maintenance weeding/trimming happens in the 15 minutes after a run. I’m already sweaty – so why not do some deadheading/trimming/pull a few weeds? Even after my longest run ever (16 miles) I pulled weeds, stiff-legged – to stretch my screaming hammies! Yeah, I’m sure the neighbors enjoyed the view of my butt sticking up in the air, but *I* just ran 16 miles and *they* didn’t. So there.
5. Strive for 75-85% perennials. They kind of take care of themselves. I just plop annuals in the front on one afternoon or early morning (depending on when I hit Lowe’s Garden Center) and call it good.
6. Secret flowering weapon? DAHLIAS! People think you’re an awesome gardener b/c they are showy, and they keep blooming and blooming (esp. if you deadhead them after your runs). They come in all colors, heights, etc. so you can really mix things up with them.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Excellent advice! Perrenials are the way to go both for budget and effort, supported by a few annuals here or there.
Thank you for the advice, Alison–and the laughs. While our kids are LOUSY at picking up indoors, they do make good yard work helpers, the few times we’ve tapped them for it. Jack had kids help rake when I was out of town, and bus driver (we live on bus route) who went by 2x stopped and yelled out praise re: our wonderful helpers.
And I LOVE dahlias! They grow exceptionally well here in Oregon. There are glorious dahlia farms outside of Portland–when you come visit, we’ll have to go.
PS – 10 or 15 minutes of “productive” weeding is an awesome consequence for poor choices on the part of your work crew.
I love to run. I love to garden. But in the last couple of years I have come to the conclusion that in addition to my regular duties as mom/wife/household-manager, I can really only devote my energy to two things at a time – and by that I mean I have two things that I consistently work hard on and devote a lot of time to. Some times, in the last six years, gardening has been on that list. We have relandscaped, done various incarnations of vegetable gardens, and have a sprawling flower garden at the center of our back yard. But this year gardening was off the list; I have been working on my writing and my running, and I have found that my life doesn’t have room for a lot else. The effect has been that my efforts in the garden have felt like triage – wait until the weeds in the perennial beds get so tall they start to hide the plants and then pull them out, apply mulch, and hope it’s months until the next time. Buy plants for a fall vegetable garden and then wait a month before getting them in the ground. Let the flower garden run rampant with self-sowing volunteers (I didn’t even weed). Remember to fertilize and hope that makes up for the lack of other care. Is it satisfying? No; it’s a source of nagging frustration every time I park in the drive and see my neglected hydrangeas. But there is still joy – and kale – to be had from the garden, and I try to remind myself that I have made the choice to focus on my Two Things, and that I *have* made progress on goals and gotten a lot of gratification from that focus. Like others, I do enlist my husband to help, particularly with brute-force labor, and I’ll try to have a day or weekend every so often where I spend a lot of time working on whatever needs the most attention at the moment. But from my perspective I do think it’s either/or, at least if the garden isn’t on your short list.
I so agree with Alison the key is perennials! Then the maintenance is minimized and makes for easy work after a long Saturday morning run. With gardening, like running, the key is to start slow and build over time!
I find the extra energy that running gives me lets me go an extra hour in the evening that I wouldn’t ordinarily have……but then again, my one half marathon is the longest distance I have done (and only training up to 8 miles before that one).
Cross training for an hour of yoga or a spin class at the gym also helps keep me energized for work, carpooling, groceries, laundry, cooking, knitting, quilting, etc…..now if I could only find time to read without falling asleep.
I hear you. I vowed no marathon in 2013 and am backtracking, searching, wondering, fearing, hoping, you know it all! I love to see my flowers, true, but my “gardening” that goes by the wayside due to running is keeping an organized house. I wish it, will it, and eventually have to mourn the lack of it.
I agree it’s hard! What to do? A long run plus recovery on Sat or the 5 hours of yard work I need to do in the Spring/Fall to prepare the beds for the season. Answer – I don’t run marathons and I enjoy the sweat and muscle building heavy gardening gives. I often talk about making sure I take care of my gardening muscles (arms/shoulders/back) so I can do my OWN mulch work! What, carry ten 40 lb bags around my yard all by myself. Done. If that isn’t bad ass I don’t know what is.
I don’t garden; I knit. And finding time for my knitting while training is tough, as I run in the morning and knit at (k)night, but while I’m training, I’m too tired by 9pm to break out my complicated projects (fair isle sweaters, fisherman knits, etc.). My last year of knitting has been mainly stuff I can do in my sleep: socks, top-down raglans, mittens, cowls.
Gardening gets roped into the “playing with my kids time.” We’re all outside gettin’ some fresh air and enjoying each other’s company…and having some semblance of a garden to show for it.
Also, having low-maintenance perennials interspersed with annuals or vegetables ensures that you don’t have a lot of high maintenance care involved.
I have seen that currently, more and more people are now being attracted to video cameras and the issue of pictures. However, like a photographer, it’s important to first spend so much of your time deciding which model of photographic camera to buy and also moving from store to store just so you could buy the least expensive camera of the brand you have decided to decide on. But it won’t end at this time there. You also have to consider whether you should obtain a digital camera extended warranty. Thanks a lot for the good suggestions I gained from your blog site.
How can I get him to do yard work regularly without it having to turn into a screaming match.
I agree with Katie above, how can you do that without a screaming match?