by Kate Walton
I don’t always set New Year’s resolutions, but something about turning the page from all the difficulty of 2020 to the more hopeful 2021 compelled me to set some more health focused intentions this year. I have optimistically plotted my 2021 race schedule. I am aiming at a big increase in my vegetable intake and more days of plant-based eating. And I am rounding the corner on Dry January, which is 31 days without consuming alcohol.
I have born witness to someone I love’s struggle with alcohol addiction and I recognize the difference between my experience and their commitment to sobriety and recovery. It is my intention to write about this sensitively and honestly with that distinction firmly in mind.
I enjoy having a drink. But during this time of COVID isolation, drinking had turned into an unconscious, near daily habit. Just like I began my days with a beloved cup of coffee (or two), I was ending my days with a glass (or two) of wine.
While contemplating the new year I put ‘I need to cut down’ on my list of intentions. When some BAMRs suggested participating in Dry January (a month of abstinence), complete with a casual Facebook group for support, I quickly raised my hand and joined them.
Right away, I found my pressure point: The end of the day, when I transition away from work toward dinner. I purposefully stocked beverages I could reach for during this time of day, including kombucha, this delicious aqua fresca, and La Croix.
The temptation usually only lasted a few minutes before fading into the background, but some days I was more preoccupied by it than others. By the time the dinner dishes were done I was always glad to have made it over the hump without giving in to one small glass of wine.
When the disturbing events at the US Capitol took place on January 6, I thought about abandoning Dry January—just for the night. Then I logged onto our group and saw a post from a fellow BAMR recounting what sports psychologist Dr. Justin Ross previously shared with her. “If you’re not using alcohol to celebrate, it’s probably sending you down the wrong path…It’s putting gasoline on a fire for those things like depression and anxiety.” Aha.
Using alcohol to manage the anxiety of the day wouldn’t help; it would only hurt. I poured myself a tart cherry kombucha and felt relieved to receive the shared wisdom.
My birthday is in January and my husband, who is an excellent cook, made my favorite pasta. It would have tasted fantastic with a glass of wine, but I moved easily through our lovely family dinner with barely a thought of pouring a drink to celebrate the start of my 49th year. That day was actually easier than most.
But then there was the random Thursday where my husband made an after-dinner cocktail to enjoy while we watched TV and I couldn’t get over how RUDE that was. Never mind he had offered to join me for Dry January and I told him that wasn’t necessary unless he wanted to. He didn’t. And never mind he had any number of drinks in front of me before then that barely registered. But that night? Rude.
Which goes to show that although abstaining from drinking mostly got easier as the month went along, there were those days it didn’t. And those days weren’t necessarily easy to predict.
With a few days left of Dry January, I can report I’ve lost a few pounds. My sleep, which is typically pretty restless, became marginally less restless. My resting heart rate is down and I’m running faster paces at a lower heart rate. It is easier to run further and more often.
On the mental side, I have become more aware of how alcohol is marketed to women, talked about on social media—and how that’s become part my own relationship to drinking. We are surrounded by messages that drinking is a reward, a form of self-care, an antidote to stress. But those reasons for drinking are not right for me.
I am planning for how I will incorporate the lessons I’ve learned going forward. I am sure I will savor a glass of red wine or enjoy a beer with friend, but I endeavor to set aside habitual use and not respond to stress, boredom and fatigue by pouring myself a drink. The past month has clearly shown me that tendancy has not had a positive impact on my life.
I am confident I wouldn’t have taken on Dry January—or stuck to it—without the support and accountability of the group. Just like running, these miles are covered by my own two feet, my own intention, effort and commitment.
Also like running: the miles are a little easier and the load a little lighter with community and support. In other words, we aren’t meant to do this alone.
Love this tribe for how we lift one another up! And I stuck to it also, even in a Zoom “cocktail hour” with friends, mainly because I had this group. Love my BAMRs!
I love this. I’m always excited to hear people try dry January, and hear their experiences. 5.5 years ago my husband become sober and I joined him. My drinking at the time consisted of maybe a glass of wine or a beer a couple times a month so it wasn’t a big change for my lifestyle, but I also noticed the marketing to women and the casualness of drinking talk my friends participated in after I stopped drinking. 5.5 years later and not a sip alcohol has crossed my lips and I don’t miss it at all.
Thank you Kate for this article. Something I needed to hear. While I did not commit to Dry January I did commit to not having a glass (or two) of wine every night. I’m expecting this to lead to more and more evenings without.
Nice to see there are others out there rocking it! Dry January here, too. I did have a glass of wine the night my dear cousin passed away but I feel like that’s ok as I liked dry January so much that it will now turn into dry February as well. My husband did it as well to my astonishment and despite being a wine lover (or snob?!) he ended up enjoying the focus and calm it offered us. Especially surrounding the capitol riots. Great work!
This is my story too…drinking a V&T while cooking dinner and catching up with my husband practically every single day thru Covid! To my surprise we both agreed to do it and it feels great. I honestly was worrying that maybe we had a problem. But it was the result of our combined stress and anxiety and just life! It’s been a rewarding month! We’re going to roll into February with a new plan—only one weekend night if we want to! Thanks for putting your story out there!! Cheers (pun intended)
Thank you for sharing you experience, Kate! My husband and I have done Dry January together for several years, and for some reason last year I was feeling so incredible after the month I kept it going. I’m about to complete 13 full months without alcohol, and it’s been life-altering for me. I’ve experienced everything you said about better sleep, lower resting heart rate, and faster paces, plus much, much more. I’m not sure how long I’ll keep it up, but for now I don’t even think about drinking at all- which I couldn’t have imagined myself saying before last January.
Thank you for sharing, Kate. I didn’t participate in dry January but I’ve been more conscious of my drinking this month. I’ve cut back quite a bit and I feel much better.
Thanks for sharing. Justin’s line about alcohol for celebrating has really hit home for me. I didn’t do dry January, but I have cut back to a drink on the weekend or the occasional celebratory weekday drink. Like you, it helped having alternatives—I’m currently exploring different herbal teas at night.
I decided to try a dry January a couple of years ago and again this year. This year, I paid more attention to my triggers to have a drink. I work from home and a glass of wine has, more often than not, been the reward that punctuated the end of my work day. But, by abstaining, I found it had become simply a habit rather than an enjoyable reward. I also figured out that I often drink wine as much for the sweetness (although I don’t drink sweet wine) as for the alcohol. I substituted a cup of spicy herb tea (and sometimes fruit or a cookie) for my glass of wine at the end of the day. I will go back to my glass of wine on 2/1, but I’ve also proven to myself that I have the self-discipline to choose not drink out of habit, especially having made it through January, 2021!
I sure wish I had some support this month – it is my first time through Dry January and it’s been WAY harder than I expected. My doctor and counselor are not concerned but I’ve noticed how much I was relying on alcohol to distress from the day. Lesson learned and I’ll be more mindful from here on out.
Thank you for this writing, Kate! I am two days away from completing a dry January as well. Like you, I was struck by when my yearning for a glass of wine popped up and the stretches when it was easy to move through the night without much thought of a glass. I have been toying with the idea of continuing through February. My ultimate hope is that I get to a point where a drink is tied to a special occasion, not a nightly ritual.