It’s Mother’s Day All May, an essay series for May that explores the intersection of parenting and running. Enjoy!

I think it’s safe to say the last 15 months of basically living in an escape room with exactly zero clues for getting out with the same three or four people on your team (all of whom you are related to) has been 14 months too long.

Or 14 months and 29 days too long, but who’s counting?

While an escape was important in the before times, it is imperative now. I can’t speak for all mothers, but for me, a regular escape is the thing that keeps me a good mother. The opportunity to be in a space that is all my own. Freedom to think my own thoughts, sort through the noise, to be.

Quick show of hands: who here is a mother? And who is a runner?

Perfect: You have a built-in escape. Put on those shoes. Get out the door. And, if at all possible, don’t take the littles with you. (Shout out to the mamas who can only get miles in by taking the stroller along.) I think so many of us survived this pandemic mentally intact only because we had running to uplift and move us forward.

Alana putting her escape plan in action

While running is the easiest way to escape, it is not the only way. BAMRs are a crafty crew and find ways to be alone for that elusive reset. I chatted with a couple of them to get that strategies.

One mother runner, Brooke, is a flight attendant. She said instead of dwelling on missing out on things at home, she started valuing the alone time she gets on the road. How blissful does that sound? Alone time? In a hotel room?

Even Olympian Carrie Tollefson posted on Instagram last week that she snuck away to the front yard while her brood played hide and seek in the back.

Even Olympian mothers need an escape

Why do we mothers feel the need to get away? Because time alone matters. A day, an hour, a long run, a moment. It matters. Will a brief escape solve all of your problems and fully fill your kids’ college education funds? No. Will an escape provide you a respite and allow you to hit reset? Undoubtedly.

So here is my challenge to each of you, fellow mothers runners:

  1. Make an escape plan. If you can’t leave your house, make a space where you can sit quietly. I’m writing this locked in my room, windows open, music playing, utterly alone. If you can leave, plan where you will go. Perhaps you’ll head out for breakfast alone like Brandi who told the host at a restaurant, “Happily, just one.”
  2. Follow your clues. We all have them: irritation at seemingly minor events, irrational fantasies about moving into your own apartment, the growing martyrdom for all you do, all the yelling. All. The. Yelling. Know when it is time to go.
  3. Seek help from others on your team. At this point, your family is simultaneously a steady comfort and an unbearable irritation. And they are still your team and probably know you best. Call in a favor to have someone watch the kids and leave that fancy baby-lugging three-wheeler behind. Listen when your family very politely says, “Maybe you should go for a run.” Yes, indeed, maybe you should.
The (mostly) supportive members of Alana’s team
  1. Eschew guilt. Throw that nasty guilt off just as quickly as you throw off your bra when coming in the door after a long day. Do people still wear bras? The guilt serves no purpose. I assure you, everything you do as a mother is done better after time to yourself.

Even if you don’t have a booklet of clues, a clear set of directions, or an enthusiastic team, you can still find a moment of reprieve.

All you need is a pair of running shoes, a quiet space, a good book, a small café, good music. Make your plan. Solve the puzzle and escape.

What are your escape plans?