“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” This cliche, oftentimes misattributed to Einstein, rings true in my life. That said, this middle-aged Mama is finding that as I evolve, so does my definition of insanity.
Over a decade ago, I drank a few too many mojitos at a dinner party and proudly proclaimed I was training for a half-marathon even though I didn’t own running shoes. A woman of my word, a few months later I crossed the finish line. In that moment, I wondered WTF I was doing before promptly signing up for another half-marathon. Thus began over a decade of self-doubt and serious imposter syndrome wondering what it’d take to earn the right to call myself a runner. I wanted to be a runner – no matter the cost.
Somewhere along the way, I found some joy in the journey. Perhaps that’s too Pollyana for this Stoic Scandinavian. If I’m being honest, it was more I enjoyed the idea of being a runner. It was an identity I could fall back on: a constant in my life as I navigated a failed adoption, pregnancy, motherhood, career changes, grief, perimenopause, and a global pandemic. Running became something I could embrace when things got tough. An opportunity to believe that even the impossible is possible. Yet, finish line after finish line, I found myself coming up short. I wasn’t fast enough, skinny enough, committed enough to earn the right to identify as a runner. That despite running hundreds of miles, I somehow was not enough to be a runner.
Last Winter, this love-hate relationship with running came to a halt when I decided to take a hiatus from running. To take a pause to understand why just running was never enough. To acknowledge that after 10+ years of beating myself up for my lack of improvement, perhaps I needed a running rest that may or may not lead to retirement. I spent the spring working on my health – addressing some concerns tied to aging, along with mixing up my work-out routine to focus more on cross-training and strength building versus cortisol-spiking runs. I made peace with some running demons, only to find myself longing to hit the road again.
And thus the cyclical nature of running insanity continues. Or, does it?
This time feels different. As I slowly lace up another pair of Brooks Glycerin 21 packed with promise, I find myself at peace with the open road. The days of disappointing splits and lackluster finish times are no longer relevant in a world where my only goal is to run for myself. It is an odd transition, and for some reading this, I imagine it might feel like failure. But I don’t. It is an evolution of what matters to me. A reminder of my why. A reconciliation with embracing the piece of running I love while letting go of what no longer serves me.
My gal pals and I will stumble through another 10K this fall, but just for fun. A reminder that we can do anything when we put our minds to it. Unlike years past, I doubt I’ll even keep time. For once, the desire to call myself a runner or somehow set a PR no longer takes center stage. Instead, running has become a small piece of a greater wellness puzzle. A missing piece that helps me achieve my goal of keeping up with my middle school age, athletic son. To prioritize myself and ensure I make the most of this one precious body I was given.
To come to terms with the idea that running is a part of what I do but not who I am. And if that makes me a bit insane, so be it.
Thank you for this Beth. You are a beautiful writer. At 51 and over a decade of being a “runner,” this resonates with me. I’ve never been fast or felt I “looked” like a runner. But, I continue to run (or walk) feeling a little like an imposter. This community and heartfelt stories like yours remind me I AM a runner. We all are. I love what you said about how running is a small piece of the greater wellness puzzle. I want to still be moving when my kids are my age god willing! THANK YOU!!!!
Thanks for this note. It means a lot to me to hear that I’m not the only gal who feels this way! Beth
Competition is not for everyone…my happiest running moments were (are!) on the trail where I am running just for the joy of movement. I find that in mountain biking and swimming also…you can find zen in the weight room even! Just keep moving…it will help when you are my age (70)
I love this encouraging reply to Beth and to me (60) this year. I am an inconsistent solo runner. I get bored. But attempting other sports helps keep me active .
Thank you! I hope when I’m 70 I’m just as active as I am now. Love what you are doing to stay zen as well!
Thanks for sharing, this resonates with my journey as well. It’s comforting and validating to know I’m not alone!
Likewise! It is always nice to know that perhaps what we’re feeling is “normal” – whatever that means! Beth
Thanks for sharing this Beth. So validating and encouraging!!!
Thanks for taking the time to read more about my running journey!
I love this! I feel like you put into words how I’ve been feeling about running lately. I just started the Run Walk program because I wasn’t quite ready to give up the identity of being a runner, yet was struggling with running due to a hip injury. Over the past few weeks I have felt a longing to go out and do my runs – a feeling I haven’t had in a while. :-) Thanks for sharing your story and motivating me to keep things in perspective!