Pop quiz, mother runners.

Take these two numbers: Eighty. Negative ten.

Put those digits together.

Solve.

The answer isn’t seventy, even though just about every elementary school kid will say that. Or, at least, should.

On Sunday, the answer was “indoor track.”

I know. It was a trick question.

To be honest, I’d planned head outside for my long run, because I am a hearty northeasterner who fears no weather. Give me a pair of yak tracks and a wooly hat and I’m #GTG, as all the kids say. The previous weekend, I knocked out a long run in freeze-my-heinie-off temps shortly after attending my very own swearing-in ceremony and figured this weekend would be more of the same. (And thanks to all of the commenters who offered kudos and/or luck. Someday, this whole adventure will be a great book — once I’ve figured out if it will be a light comedy or cautionary tale.)

Nope. I can’t feel my face. What gives it away?

During that long run, I looked like the younger brother in A Christmas Story; you know, the one who looked like a tick. Once you’ve put on two pairs of fleece-lined tights, two shirts, once fleece jacket and one wind-proof jacket, it’s hard to put your arms down. It worked, though, and I was almost too warm.

My only mistake was pulling my phone out of my pocket to check a text. After about 15 seconds, the whole screen went black because the battery decided it would rather be in Florida. The battery, it must be said, is smarter than the rest of us who live where the air hurts our face.

Every single winter, this little meme pops into my head.

Still, unintentional Zen run aside, those seven miles were fine, if cold.

I figured I’d do the same thing a couple of days ago. I’d even ordered a fancy, breathable ski mask to keep my cheeks warm for the first few miles and was eager to try it out, because I am that big of a dork. This plan lasted until I looked outside and noticed that a thin film of ice was on pretty much everything. Ice is the cold-weather runner’s kryptonite. Or if it isn’t, it should be if that cold-weather runner wants to stay uninjured.

While my local YMCA has treadmills and I could front the couple of bucks for a day pass, I simply couldn’t bring myself to run ten miles, which for me takes two hours and a few minutes, on a treadmill. Not even with TVs. And fans. And buttons to push.

But I did think I could run ten miles on the indoor track on campus. As long as I didn’t think too hard about it, mind you, and had plenty of podcasts to listen to. So I jumped in the car.

After a brief slapstick routine involving locked doors, a campus mostly closed for the winter break, and helpful maintenance guy, I started my run. The upside of running on the indoor track is that there is a place to put my water bottle and a Stroopwafel. The downside is pretty much everything else.

It’s a lot of around and around. There is no scenery to speak of, except for some small windows that look onto our mostly frozen landscape. The far side of the track was easily 80 degrees, because of the morning sun and cranked-up radiators. Still, I’ll choose it over the treadmill any day of the week.

On this day, after the first 45 minutes, the smattering of other runners on the track left, which meant I could change directions every two miles without causing awkward social situations. (For the record, I prefer to go clockwise.) Since I was alone, I decided there was no reason not to talk out loud to myself when I wanted to just pack up my Stroopwafel and go home. Because, really? Who does this sort of thing? Run 80 laps in an empty gym on a bitterly cold Sunday afternoon?

BAMRs, y’all. That’s who.

The hot side of the track, shortly after I started talking to myself.

I know that some of my sisters of the North are giving me virtual fist-bumps for dealing with extreme winter conditions. But let me reassure my sisters in the South: I have no idea how you deal with heat, to say nothing of the humidity and the bugs and the sun. Every single BAMR has her weather dilemmas to deal with. It’s just my turn right now.

So who is with me on Team Indoor Track? Who is Team Treadmill? And who is Team Stay In Bed Until the Ice is Gone?