I’ve been getting intimate with the produce aisle. Or at least figuring out what it all is.
So it’s been about 10 days since I waved the white flag on my mood and my motivation. Thank you again for all your thoughtful sentiments; part of the reason I write entries like that is because I think we all–or at least I definitely do–get these imaginary ideas that her life is so polished or she has it so much better than me or why does life seem so much easier for everybody else?
I think it’s vitally important to let the curtain down every once in a while–probably not everyday, or you’d get sick of my virtually living in baggy sweatpants–and let others know you’re struggling. In addition to you badass mother runners, I had so many neighborhood friends and pals from other parts of my life reach out and make me feel so loved and not alone, so I encourage you to to do the same- if you’re feeling beyond blah and can’t figure out how to get over it.
I’m happy to report that I’m feeling much better. I know I haven’t cured my depression, but I’ve made some important discoveries: namely, that what I put down my trap makes a massive difference in my moods. (Shocking, I know: but sometimes you have to experience for yourself to believe it.)
I started the Clean program last Monday. about 10 days ago. The first step was elimination week: no caffeine, no sugar, no wheat, no alcohol, no dairy. What is allowed: almost all fruits and veggies, most white meats and some fish, brown rice and similar grains, oils and nuts, green tea and pretty much anything else you’d grow, has less than 3 ingredients or would be found at a typical co-op.
Then, on Monday–three days ago–I started the real cleanse: a smoothie in the morning, a big (approved) lunch, followed by something liquid for dinner. Two snacks a day as well. And you water yourself like you’re a golf course. You can throw in a lemon or lime into the drink to spice things up.
Here are the high–and low–lights so far:
*Day two: killer headache. Could.not.think. The book warned of that, and recommended not taking anything to relieve the pain. I’m pretty sure the author didn’t know I had two kids who were bouncing off the walls and needed dinner. So I popped three ibuprofen and continued to drink water. By the next morning, it was gone.
Coke Zero: a good name since it does zero for my mood–or health.
*Day four: the hardest. The kids started school, which meant I was finally back to my routine. The routine that involves a Coke Zero at 11 a.m., handfuls of sugar and Ritz and whatever else I can find when I’m either a) feeling writers block or b) want to procrastinate. Which means at least 8 trips up the stairs per day for junk. I made it through, but at the end of that day, Ben was eating a chocolate ice cream cone near me after his soccer practice. I could smell the sugar and would’ve downed it in 3 bites if I could’ve.
*I have eaten more nuts and seeds than a squirrel in hibernation. Cashews, almonds, pumpkin seeds: I eat them by the handful, and they’re oddly satisfying:. I used to think when I read how somebody loved to snack on almonds, I used to think, bullcrap. Sliver me some almonds in a salad or throw them in GORP, and I’ll happily eat them. But a snack by themselves? Not so much. Now, I can’t believe how filling and tasty the seem. I haven’t gone totally raw yet, as Clean suggests–sorry, I like some salt and roast with my nuts.
*I have cheated. Ibuprofen and salty nuts notwithstanding, Grant and I split a beer (I know: crazy, right?) the night before the first day of school; every day, I’ve been having at least one piece of Ezekiel 4:9 bread with peanut butter. (Ezekiel is what Scott Jurek of Eat & Run fame eats, so I figure that’s the best it’s going to get); every morning, I’m still having a splash of my beloved Chai, but now I mix it with Almond Milk; on Saturday night, there was a luau at our neighborhood pool, where I had two beers and a brownie, among other things. (And I felt totally off on Sunday. Not sure if that was the food or the 3.5-hour bike ride I did on Saturday. Probably a combo.)
If I could reach into the screen and eat this, I would.
*I’ve stopped myself from cheating. Making grilled cheese for my kids, I wanted to wolf one down so bad. Same with the cream cheese bagels I make for Ben in the morning. I definitely crave a glass of wine each night but a drink, to me, is signal I’ve made it through the day and I can relax. I need to change my way of thinking there.
After getting through the first few days, I’ve craved some sugar as well. Tonight, I can’t get a slice of Whole Foods carrot cake out of my head, but I’m not so in need of a crazy up because I haven’t been crazy down. (And it bears noting: the candy aisle holds zero appeal for me currently.)
The book that has guided me to a much better place.
*It costs money.* While I only invested in the Clean book–I’m not using any of their other products–my grocery store runs have been costlier than usual. I had to stock up on random things like chia seeds and cardamom (made one Energy Smoothie with the spice yesterday and gagged it down: hoping to find some other recipes that need it so they $9 bottle doesn’t go to waste). Obviously, I’m not going to need to restock my flaxseed every week, so I’m betting cost will go down.
*Also, It wouldn’t cost as much money if I would read the fine print near the recipes. Little did I know, until tonight, that each recipe made two servings, not one. So I’ve been doubling them for Grant, my fellow cleanser, and me. Which leads me to the next point.
*I need more calories, especially since I’m a big girl and I’m exercising pretty regularly. So doubling those smoothies and soups is much better than eating non-approved foods. I’ve also added a salad and fresh fruit to dinner, and I snack pretty much all day long: fruit, nuts, and today, I had some leftover roasted broccoli with this amazing tahini dressing from this salad. (I LOVE this dressing, and the salad is great too.) So I’m not following it to the letter–more like 85%– but I feel like I’m still getting the main benefits.
*I still need to fuel for exercise. On my recent rides (and one run), I eat (non-caffeinated) GU and Jurek-approved Clif bars, as well as drink my beloved Nuun. My energy is decent, but not great, when I’m sweating. I did a long ride last Saturday, and my quads felt empty sooner than usual, and on my six-mile run this morning, I brought a gel in case I needed a shot of sugar. I did. The Clean program talks about this amazing burst of energy you’re supposed to feel, but I haven’t felt that yet.
*I suck at planning. But eating Clean forces me to plan because I can’t be left in that no-food-so-let’s-eat-quesadillas state. So I spent Sunday planning my menu for the week so I’m stocked with plenty of pineapple to make pineapple and avocado gazpacho. (LOVE this one too. I think of it as the healthy person’s margarita.)
*All that said, it bears repeating: I feel so much better. I haven’t shed a tear in 10 days, which is huge for me, given my recent track record. I have not crashed and exploded. I haven’t felt hangry–a beautiful, low-blood-sugar term I stole from a friend–in 10 days. (Hungry, yes. But hangry, like I.must.eat.now.or.I.will.scream.? Nope.) I can see how a slight lifestyle shift–more planning for meals made with nutritious, balanced foods–can make a really important shift in my attitude and life.
Curious: have you noticed a pattern between your food and your attitude? What about your food and your running?
Quite some time ago, I bought the book and read it and thought “I could never do that.” Not 10 minutes before reading your post did I announce to my husband that I was going to change what I am eating. I am sick of the sugar addiction and how I feel when I eat so much (like I have lately). Thank you for your post and your honesty. I may not do the cleanse, but I will be pro-active, starting now. I look forward to more updates from you!
Dimity, I love hearing about your experiences so far! I’m proud of you for giving this a go, and glad you’re seeing positive results so far. I definitely notice a connection to my mood and energy level and what I eat. I’ve been 90% vegetarian for almost a year, and have given up most processed foods. It’s definitely made a difference for me.
I find a huge connection between eating and running. Not long after I started running, I gave up alcoholic drinks almost completely. Never a huge drinker anyway, I find even one beer affects my speed on my run the next morning. I also find that running makes me ravenous all the time– and terribly picky about what I want to use as fuel for a body that I finally value after years of despising it. I eat tons of fruits and veggies as snacks, and finally kicked my Dr. Pepper addiction for good. Now, if I could just get completely off sugar! I am going to check out this book. Good luck on the changes you are making.
Nice work! I love how I feel when I eat healthy. I just don’t have the discipline to give up sugar, caffeine and wine all at the same time. I know it’s a mental thing and just need a lifestyle change. I definitely will have to get a copy of the book. I’ve recently added some strength training alternating on my running days but feel ravenous by the end of the day and make poor food choices…especially when I’m rushing around trying to get kids fed.
Thanks for your inspiration. Congratulations on your healthy lifestyle and motivating mother runners everywhere!
These are the same kind of changes that I’ve made gradually with my diet over a much longer period of time after my breast cancer diagnosis. I am still always trying to get the right post-long-run-fuel into me and have decided that Stinger Waffles and water are my best “during run” fuel with Nuun afterwards.
One thing I love after running is the sweet hummus (with carrot sticks or apple slices) found here:
http://www.thewannabechef.net/2011/01/11/peanut-butter-chocolate-chip-dessert-hummus/
I am TOTALLY making this, Carolyn, after I get back to some sugar. thank you for sharing it–and wishing you many more happy,healthy miles.
For roughly the past six to eight weeks, I went almost completely vegan because I had such a hard time fueling for my marathon last June. It was a roller coaster ride of careful, restrictive eating for about 3 days and then holy crap – put a lock on the fridge, I’m eating everything and anything containing a carb. It was horrible. I feel really good eating a plant-based diet, however, I definitely feel that something is lacking, and for the first time in 3 years, I ended up getting a minor shoulder injury – something I’ve never experienced up to this point, despite my rather vigorous activity. I picked up Clean and thumbed through it and realized I have been pretty much doing a cleanse without the animal protein all this time. I haven’t quite shed the 10 pounds I put on during marathon training, so I’m transitioning back to what worked so well for me to get all my weight off in the first place (higher protein, lower carb), but doing it alot healthier – the animal protein I choose to consume will be the best quality I can find, and I don’t think I’ll go back to dairy, as I just feel better running without it. This journey of how to feed my body the food it needs to do its job without having my mind interfere and decide what would be the tastiest and provide the most enjoyable experience for me is probably THE hardest part of this weight loss maintenance thing I’ve found, and it seems to be a continual tweaking and learning process.
Michelle: you’ve come such along way, and I’m really impressed with how smart you are about things. Better protein, and keep learning, friend. :)
I don’t always eat in the morning prior to my run, but when I do, it is always a bowl of cheerios. I wait an hour, and am good to go. Yesterday we were out of milk. I had a bagel..and waited…and waited…finally after 2 hours, I thought I was good to go. Went about 2 miles and felt horrible! It was still sitting in my stomach like a brick. Never again.
I’m pretty careful about what I eat–as I get older, I find that a lot of foods affect me in different ways. I’ve given up beef (which I miss) because it really makes me feel bad–sluggish. Beef also gives me major GI issues–my ex BIL used to joke that IBS really stands for “I”ll be stopping”. I don’t drink pop, and really watch sugar, altho I do love chocolate.
I’ve never done anything extreme, like a cleanse, just gradually eliminated the foods that give me trouble. Trial and error. I don’t deprive myself, but after a while, I’ve learned that there is a price to pay for eating junk food.
IBS: I’ll be stopping. Totally stealing that one, Wendy. Love it. Glad you’ve arrived at a healthy perspective.
I love how honest you are! As soon as I buckle down to eat right, everything in my kitchen, the grocery store, even in the streets…starts screaming for me to eat crap! I have weak willpower. I have new mentally. Grow up! I’m an adult and I can make good choices. Good luck!
Well put. I need to remember that I am an adult and I need to make good choices. So often I think I can eat whatever I want because I run so much that it doesn’t effect my weight. I need to think more about what it is doing to my health beyond my weight.
I think it’s really easy to slip into the I ran 10 miles so I get to eat a sleeve of Oreos, Jamie. And as runners, we definitely have more leeway than sedentary people, but yes, fueling your body to run might make a difference in your performance and mood. I just finished Scott Jurek’s book Eat & Run: might be good to check it out.
Hey Cat: so one thing I did was clean out my pantry during the cleanse. I still have goldfish and ice cream for the kiddos, but not as much junk before. If it doesn’t make it to your house, it can’t make it into your mouth. Maybe pick a few days–a weekend–where you can just stay home and do tasks there? Just a thought. It’s easier after a couple days; seriously.
Absolutely! The better I eat, the better I feel. Thanx for the reminder and the book…. Ordering it today.
Good luck with it! Personally, I’d be hard pushed to give up nutritious food for supplements, and given I’ve had stress fracture issues, I also would hesitate to give up dairy due to its calcium content. But I think the idea behind the whole cleansing thing is great – get rid of junk, eliminate or minimize what doesn’t “work well” with our bodies (and that may vary for different people), and focus on what gives us energy, both mentally and physically. If I had more self-discipline, I could get really into that – but I love chocolate, tea, and a glass of wine too much to ditch them completely!
Trust me: I’ll be back to chocolate and wine too. Just not as MUCH–and not as regularly when I’m already feeling the blues. Also, just fyi–although I’m going to sound like an infomercial here–almond milk has more calcium than regular milk. You probably already knew that, but just letting you know. I agree: you have to figure out what works well, and minimize–but not eliminate–what doesn’t. Life is too short.
I love Almond Milk, especially unsweetened Vanilla. Also, the chocolate is pretty yummy too. But it has less protein, so you have to get that other ways (which you should be doing anyway.)
The other thing I follow is keeping my sugar intake below 9G per serving. Surprisingly, there are some “treats” that fall in this category like Dark Chocolate Nutty Bits from Trader Joes.
I have been toying with the idea of eating “clean” but can’t imagine giving up coffee. I will have to check this book out.
Last summer when I was going to track workouts every Tuesday I would find myself grabbing the M&M’s at work and then later in the afternoon as I was breathless and slogging through my track workout I would blame the M&M’s. This summer I made sure not to eat M&M’s on track days and still felt slow at the track. Okay, it’s not the M&Ms! Track workouts are just really freakin’ hard!!
I get REALLY REALLY HANGRY when I put off eating so I can get “just one more thing” done. Watch out family!!
Love your scientific method, Jillian. :)
I’m so glad you’re writing about this! This is fascinating! I, too, read “Clean” awhile back and was intrigued but thought it sounded WAY too hard. But now I’m coming off a summer of CRAZY fatigue, weight gain, mood roller coasters, the whole nine yards–in fact just went to the dr. this a.m. to get my thyroid tested and discuss these issues!–and I’m sure my diet plays a big role. I love healthy foods but I’m a lot like you in that I snack on whatever crappy foods are nearby, I’m addicted to sugar and coffee and Diet Coke, and I sometimes eat things like Cheetos for lunch if my kids aren’t around. (I know! Awful.) I am VERY curious about one thing–how are you framing this to your kids? In my family, we eat home-cooked, healthy but definitely not cleanse-worthy, dinners together every night. (And lunches together on weekends.) I don’t want to introduce some kind of confusing or crazy-eating ideas into my kids’ heads (not that this is a crazy-eating plan; I just mean I worry that to my kids it will seem crazy, and/or spark some sort of food issues/questions/problems). Does this seem like an odd question? I really wonder how you do it with kids around.
Shanon: In a word, I’ve become a short order cook. I try to keep our meals somehow it the same sphere–like we can all have chicken and veggies and fruit–but yes, for these three weeks or so, they’re pretty much eating dinner on their own while I slurp down a soup. Not exactly ideal, but I think they’ll take the happier mom instead of a family dinner.
I have been more aware of what I’m feeding them overall, though. Not as much juice, more fruits at breakfast, etc. I’m not making them go clean, but I’m slowly cleaning up their diets. :)
Helpful! Thank you!
I’ve found your Cleanse experience fascinating and hope you keep us updated. I did a somewhat cleanse as part of Dr. Phil Maffetone’s (Big Book of Endurance author)two week carb addiction test. I had been vegan for a year but didn’t lose weight until I cut out sugar and grains. I felt good, too. Unfortunately at the end of the two weeks I reintroduced the foods and am right back to my sugar “addiction.”
Hi Mia–Yes, it feels like it kind of has to be a way of life. I have no idea what I’ll do after I finish this. Last night, I was dreaming of carrot cake. tonight, it’s straight up birthday cake. :) I think knowing you can balance it better is powerful, but unfortunately, those substances are definitely addicting.
I always say running is what changed me from an overweight and unhappy person into a pretty happy and more average sized person. If I’m being honest though, I can be running A LOT and eating poorly, and I feel terrible. It really has more to do with the food than the exercise for me.
It’s crazy, right, Michelle: food is so freakin’ powerful. What I do find, though, is a relationship between my running and my eating. If I’m up and running in the morning, I eat much better during the day. On rest days or days I choose not to motivate, I eat like crap–and feel that way too.
Not sure when if oils/butter come into play, but try using the cardamom with roasted carrots. It’s insanelt good. http://www.food.com/recipe/roasted-carrots-with-cardamom-butter-346694 (We use Earth Balance instead of butter anyway.)
Awesome. Thank you, Nancy. No butter, but oils. I will try to make this by tweaking it a bit, considering I have a five-pound bag of carrots from Costco burning up my fridge. (bad call on that purchase…)
I’m pretty new to your blog, and I’m really learning a lot from it. I started running about 3 years ago, mainly to lose weight. I lost 60 pounds the first year. (That was my goal.) Of course, along with the running, I had to change my eating habits. It does get easier to resist the nasty stuff as time goes by. I haven’t read this book, and I’m not eating this “clean,” but I feel really good about where I’m holding. I snack on raw almonds every day, by the way. ;)
Aidel: good for you! And I love that you feel good where you’re holding. I may have some leftover almonds to ship you when this whole experiment is over…
Making me want to read this! I firmly believe cleaner is better…. I have read Dr Oz’s and Jillian’s versions but both were hard for me….. Difficult and not-my-style food but I have done great with Tosca Reno’s books/recipes. She wasn’t quite so hard core with no dairy/caffeine but she has a new trainer and is changing I think.
This, I think when done correctly, Heather is pretty hard. I’m not doing it to the letter at all, but I am taking the basic guidelines and applying them to my diet, and that, I think, is 80% of the battle. Sure I may not be humming with energy or lose 10 pounds, but I’m learning about how best to fuel my engine and moods, and that’s totally worth it.
Hard yes… that’s what I loved about Tosca’s books – especially her kid book – that they aren’t hard & are tasty. BUT I need a recharge – and sometimes just reading another book about it is enough to re-energize. I am also curious why some of the anti-dairy/anti-soy/anti-wheat perspectives are – I haven’t had issues with those foods but I do find wheat products addictive – especially when in their “enriched” vs whole grain state.
What a coincidence! Just finished Eat and Run last night. Was at the health food store today buying my very first loaf of Ezekiel 4:9 bread (as well as nutritional yeast flakes). Too funny! I’m taking baby steps into healthy eating, but I do feel better when I eat better. I also stopped drinking because I found myself to be very depressed the day after. Kinda sad because I live in Milwaukee, beer capital of the USA:) A small sacrifice to feel better.
That’s a rough one, Kim: Milwaukee and no beer. :) Kidding. The ezekiel 4:9: I gotta say, I really like it. Not the cheapest bread around by any stretch, but one loaf lasted me almost 10 days, so I guess that’s a pretty good price/slice ratio.
I want to eat cleaner but I’m just so picky! I’m thinking about taking a few baby steps, though!
there are a lot of things I haven’t tried before, Carla, and I just went for it. things are surprisingly tasty. I’m not the most daring eater for sure, but you can always have meals like brown rice and chicken and a veggie: that’s a clean meal and pretty basic. just a thought.
So, 3+ years ago I was diagnosed with Celiac’s Disease and had to revamp my entire diet. I remember saying to the doctor “please don’t tell me I can’t drink wine” and he said “I’d never tell you that”. Now, I feel as though I have given up so many things, mainly wheat, barley, malt, and rye, that I can’t imagine giving up anything else. Things that I hadn’t eaten in years like white potatoes and rice came back into my diet. I definitely eat a cleaner, less processed, whole foods kind of diet but I also think I’m done eliminating anything else. I’m so glad you are feeling better Dimity. I too felt much better once I eliminated gluten…more energy, less brain fog, oh, and no more pain! Keep it up!!
Love that: please don’t tell me I have to give up wine. :) I think it’s important to remember that moderation is the key: I needed this kickstart, but chances are, I’ll be back to a much more “normal” diet within a few weeks. Hopefully just with a few slices of clean thrown in so I don’t throw myself back down.
I absolutely feel the connection between food and mood and energy. I bought the Clean book and read it eagerly but didn’t get through 72 hours. i found it so hard to prepare foods for the kids that I wasn’t eating…it felt hypocritical to me! Now i limit the foods I learned were not beneficial and eat meatless more often, reduced sugar, reduced milk and cheese. But I have yet to give up coffee!
Good luck Dimity you are an inspiration!
Thanks for sharing your journey with us. I am shaking my head yes to everything you say. About 1 1/2 years ago I made the decision to clean up my eating. Guess you can call me a cavegirl since I have changed my eating lifestyle to that very similar to the Primal/Paleo way of eating. I was tire of my mood swings, IBS, skin problems, not sleeping, no energy and all around just feeling like CRAP. It took about 5 weeks for evertything to come together but I went through all the steps you are. I even did a 30 sugar detox earlier this year. I now sleep well, have a ton of energy, my IBS and other issues have gone away and I my moods have leveled. I do not crave sugary foods or processed foods. I crave meat and veggies! And when I do choose to eat ‘dirty’ I know I will ‘pay’ for it physically in a short amount of time…I hate the sugar/carb hang over. We just got back from a three week RV roadtrip and I didn’t have as much control over my diet as I’d like. Man I am paying for it..time to cleanse again. I feel so strong in my running and cross training workouts too. And all my heatlh ‘numbers’ are great and I lost 11% body fat in 14 months.
Keep up the good work!!!! I am rooting for you.
Good for you Dimity and thank you for sharing your situation. I eat fairly healthy, but definintely have a sugar issue. And I “treat” myself to 1-2 Coke Zeros a day. I don’t drink coffee, so it is my daily does of caffeine. I think I tend to justify it because it is zero calorie, but it can’t be helping how I feel on a daily basis. I too see a major connection between how I eat and how I feel.
Definitely a connection…when I eat what I WANT I feel fat, bloated and generally like crap. When I eat what I NEED, I feel better being in control and I don’t have all the GI running issues that I have with a poor diet. That being said, trying to lose weight and train for a marathon is a tricky thing to try. I am hoping I can do it… Congrats, Dimity. It sounds like things are SO much better!
I’ve been eating a plant-based diet for 21 days..I’ve noticed a HUGE difference in my runs..feeling out of gas 2-3 miles in.. Looking forward to hearing about a cure for an empty tank!
Thank you for your updates. It really helps me too to hear about your honest life. I have dealt with these very things many times,and am very proud of your taking steps to improve your life. I am going to get the book and continue to make healthy changes. I went off sugar and felt great, but have fallen back into some bad habits because of a stubborn reaction to stress. Thank you for being so transparent. As always best wishes and sending you healthy peaceful vibes.
Dimity,
I have 2 things I’d like to share with you.
One: I did the cleanse with the Clean kit this past January and the first week was hell. The last 2 weeks I felt AMAZING. I even stayed gluten and dairy free for about 3 months following. Hang in there. The kit is expensive but I can’t stress enough how good the supplements are in supporting the cleanse. I figured I saved a lot of money because I wasn’t eating as much and wasn’t dining out (near impossible on the cleanse). Also, Dr. Junger recommends we walk and do yoga during the cleanse rather than our normal exercise routine. So I cleanse after triathlon season so I can rest more. Just fyil..
TWO: I would like to recommend a book called THE WAR OF ART by Steven Pressfield. You are a writer. You will love this book. It’s about how to conquer the devil speak in our heads that keeps us from doing what we should be doing- our work- whether it be exercise, diet, writing, our job, etc.. I have dealt with depression my whole life and when you described your experience in the book RLAM, it was like you were describing me. This book changed my life.
I wish you all the best in your journey.
It is always interesting to read about other people journey to a healthier lifestyle. I wish you the best of luck. I suffer the same issues as most women I think. I found that everytime I went on some health kick I could never maintain it and eventually went back to eating the same way. I don’t eat a horrible diet but I do enjoy my coffee, chocolate and peanutbutter. So for me instead of going on a diet I say everthing in moderation and I found that I actually eat less of the bad stuff and more of the good stuff. I also don’t feel guilty when I indulge in a little chocolate and peanutbutter I figure I could be eating worse foods. Again good luck, and keep running. By the way recent studys show that bannans give as much fuel as GU and are better for you. :O)
I’m off to find this book, as well as Eat & Run. I’ve also been in the process of changing my eating habits and it’s HARD. I am such a comfort eater, making myself stop and think before I react and eat has been my biggest challenge. After struggling with a weight loss plateau I cut WAY back on sugar, even natural sugars in fruit, yogurt and milk, and my weight literally starting falling off. And the effect it has had on my moods has been astounding. Just have to keep tweaking to find the right balance! Continued good luck on your journey!
Just purchased the book and preparing to do cleanse. Just wondering if you need to purchase the cleanse kit? Money is tight and wondering if you can just get by with what you have at home. Would love to hear an update on how you are feeling.
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