In Praise of Good Enough
Tish and her daughter, Nina, on a good-enough hike
by Tish Hamilton
As we round the corner of the 6th month of this pandemic, here are a few things I, Tish, have not done: baked sourdough bread; strummed a tune on the dusty ukulele; read last week’s Sunday New York Times; hired an SAT prep tutor for my daughter, Nina; completed a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle in a house with a pool on vacation with my neighborhood “pod” with kids my kid’s age. (I don’t even have a “pod”!) Run a marathon. (Ouch. That last one hurts.)
Comparison is the thief of joy, Mittens. That was a caption in a New Yorker cartoon: a fat cat sitting over his fresh kill [dead mouse, sorry, Dimity!] scolding a slightly less fat cat looking glumly at his less-impressive fresh kill.
Thing is, comparison is such an easy trap for runners and mothers to fall into. Our “sport” (or hobby, habit, practice) is fueled by comparison: You start running, you get “better”—faster, stronger, leaner, happier. You enter a race, and you beat someone. Then there’s the trap of comparing yourself to your former self. I was so much younger yesterday than I am today. Dang!
Don’t even get me started on the parenting comparison: Someone always has a bigger house, an Ivy League-bound child, a dinnertime ritual of reflection that sparks thoughtful, enlightened conversation. [laughing while crying emoji goes here]
And all that was before the pressure-cooker of the pandemic!
Working from home; schooling from home; recognizing how privileged (and grateful!) we are to have our health and health care. And letting go of so many of the compulsive comparisons we measure ourselves by (even if they are thieves of joy).
“You do not have to be good,” wrote the poet Mary Oliver, not a runner but an avid ambler—good enough in my book! “You do not have to walk on your knees for 100 miles rough the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”
Tish deems these muffins good enough—we suspect they are delicious!
In that spirit, Nina and I are embracing “good enough.” We mow the lawn; we don’t weed-whack. Good enough! We stir leftover rice into a can of Amy’s Lentil Vegetable soup and call it dinner. Good enough! We notice spots on spoons that our ailing dishwasher hasn’t quite cleaned and toss them in the drawer anyway. Good enough! Wouldn’t it be so great if my perfectionistic-leaning daughter could hold onto “good enough” as her hybrid school year unfolds?
I will never own a Tesla; Nina isn’t going to Harvard; this pandemic won’t last forever.
I did bake blueberry muffins (with vanilla yogurt because no milk). I’ve kept up a “movement” streak (25 minutes running, biking, hiking or walking). I read an anti-racist book (Stamped, adapted for middle-graders by Jason Reynolds). We do the best we can. Good enough!
#433: Aiming to Be the First Female African-American Pro Triathlete
Sarah and Amanda converse with Sika Henry who, at age 36, has her sights set on becoming the first professional Black female triathlete in the U.S. Sika shares:
- the story of her first marathon, including calling her bestie to pick her up at Mile 17 (!);
- details about a serious bike accident she had in a May 2019 triathlon–and her subsequent comeback;
- reasons triathlon is dominated by Caucasian men—and what she’s doing to bring Black youth into the sport;
- her recovery and self-care tools, including an innovative “human sound” therapy system; and,
- her next competitive challenge in the absence of organized races.
The mother runners talk about their respective oldest kids + college in the intro chitchat; Sika hops on at 13:56.
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Taking a Break from Running—and Coming Back Refreshed
by Kate Walton
I was sitting in a bag chair next to the dugout of one of my daughter’s first softball games during our time of COVID when I realized I needed to take a break from running.
To recap: in early 2020 I was having one of my best training cycles preparing for the Missoula Marathon using the Train Like a Mother Heart and Sole plan. As my family sequestered, I stuck strictly to my training plan with the slim hope the race would run. When the race director made the understandable call to cancel I did the Yeti Ultra 24 Hour Challenge in early May to cap my training. After taking a week or so to recover from the Yeti I had the best of intentions to continue to follow the plan; I would just shorten the long runs a bit.
Through the rest of May and early June those intentions began to wane and running started to feel like a chore for the first time in well…ever. For the last dozen years, I haven’t purposefully taken time off from running except in the case of race recovery and injury. I’ve trained in the heat, the snow, when I had a race on the calendar and when I didn’t. While I certainly won’t say every run was awesome, to paraphrase Dimity, I was always glad to have run. And that day in June I had to acknowledge the creeping realization that feeling had gone missing.
Being a typical BAMR, I made a plan: I was going to take a month off from running. I would still walk, hike, do yoga, strength train and stay active, but would only run if I really, really wanted to…And for a month I didn’t want to.
I’ll admit: A month without running miles felt a little strange. I kept the time for exercise in my usual daily schedule, I wore my workout clothes and posted my activities to Strava, and I didn’t gain or lose any weight. Most days I walked for about an hour listening to audio books and podcasts, just enjoying the time outside ad alone. Several days a week I did online strength training videos. For me this struck a balance of forward movement and gentle fitness while honoring my need for a break.
This story doesn’t necessarily have a tidy conclusion. The time off wasn’t a game changer. More like a gentle reset during a time when everything feels upside down, inside out and uncertain.
When the month-ish was up I felt ready to ease back into a running schedule. Our family took a socially distanced, outdoor activity focused trip to Breckenridge, Colorado and a couple of mornings after we returned I decided it was time to go for a run. I had a growing worry that if I didn’t get back to it the break might stretch on…. And I was missing truly running. Running my usual 3-mile loop felt like something I wanted to do. I was ready to get back to it.
I didn’t come back stronger than ever. I didn’t come back with a renewed sense of purpose. I started back gradually; my pace was at least a minute slower than my usual easy pace. I started by running two miles easy, then walking another mile or two several days a week. Walking isn’t running and my fitness had declined, but the miles on my feet and the time doing strength training videos in front of my computer meant it didn’t feel too bad.
Plus, for me, there’s nothing that beats the feeling of an easy run on a beautiful morning. Running a route that is so familiar and well-worn I can barely recall making the turns along the way. When I started back, chasing that feeling propelled me forward.
After a few weeks my running fitness returned to an easy baseline. I started to enjoy having run again. My edges were smoothed out a bit and I was glad I listened to my instincts instead of being stubborn and burned out.
Perhaps this story has a tidier conclusion than I originally thought.
Inspired and encouraged by my friend and fellow BAMRBassador Julie Patno, I have signed up for the Arches Ultra 50K in Moab, UT at the end of January. Ultras and trail races are among the first to safely return and are naturally smaller, socially distanced events. Mad Moose, which is hosting the event, has been successfully hosting trail races during this phase of COVID and I have a reasonable degree of confidence 1) the race will be held and 2) I can safely travel and participate.
I am kicking off the Train Like a Mother Ultra 50K Training Program this week with new coach Coach Christy Scott (hear her on the AMR Trains #15 Podcast) and am really jazzed to be back on a schedule.
I know we are all finding our way in a year where it feels like the rug is being repeatedly pulled out from under us. I don’t usually need a race to stay motivated to run, but when this idea was sparked I couldn’t believe how much my spirits lifted. Connection with friends, the opportunity for a road trip, the chance to fill in my calendar with runs aimed toward a goal, an adventure in my future when so many days run together with sameness and uncertainty.
I may have found myself staring down a 50K without taking a break this summer, but I’m glad to have the brief stop to remind me how much I love to just run.
Have you taken an intentional break from running recently? How did it go?
#432: The Power of a Virtual Relay Race
Sarah and Dimity, buzzing from the Love the Run You’re With 2.0 virtual relay race weekend, gab with three gals who took part in the solo-yet-very-much-part of-a-team event. Live vicariously as:
- Brooke recounts recreating elements of an episode of The Office with her teammates;
- Lisa extols the delight of tapping into creativity by scheming team names, batons, and costumes;
- Lisa and Emily detail getting soaked by storms;
- all three talk about becoming fast friends with other runners who were strangers just days before; and,
- Emily shares the profound impact it made for teammates to “meet each other where they were.”
In the intro, Dimity and Sarah recount their relay experiences, with Dimity cycling her segments. Brooke joins the conversation at 18:36.
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