by Heather Reed

If you have a best running friend—or BRF, as we call them around these parts—you know that simple three-word phrase is not enough to encompass the meaning of the relationship. 

Best running friends share dedication, confessions, whining, sugar, sweat, discomfort, gas, periods, secrets. The intimacy is boundless—and you kind of wish the miles together could go on forever…if your legs could hack it and your families wouldn’t miss you. 

Like all friendships, however, BRFs can hit speed bumps. And Heather and Christine, two BRFs, hit a big one when Christine’s family moved across the state of South Dakota during the pandemic. 

The two still are in a synced stride, though; here’s a sweet story of how their BRF-dom started, and how they’re keeping it running strong.

best running friends
Christine on the left, Heather on the right. (Plus two munchkins who grew up too fast.)

BECOMING BEST RUNNING FRIENDS (BRFS):

Heather: When I had my third child, I took a sabbatical from teaching and worked part-time at a local natural parenting store. Christine would come in wearing baby-wearing wraps and cool running t-shirts. She was so beautiful, smart, and fit. I wanted to be like her! 

We were both obsessed with babywearing and bonded right away. When she casually suggested I train for a 10K with her, I knew it was my chance to level up and be more like Christine. 

Christine: I had my second daughter in 2015 and began to train for my first ever half marathon in the spring of 2016. When I began to ponder a fall 10K that same year, I posted on Facebook asking if any of my friends wanted to join in on the fun. 

The transition from mere friends into BRFS began! As we put in the training miles, we talked about our babies and older kids, the lack of sleep, our partners and parents, podcasts, nutrition, and of course, running. In October of 2016, we crossed the 10K finish line together: a feat we’d repeat many times to come.

The first 10k; see the hunger for more crazy?

STRENGTHENING THE BRF BONDS:

Unsurprisingly, the 10K wasn’t enough. (Runners will be runners, after all.) We trained together for a half marathon the following spring, and then kept racing. Most weekends included a long run/therapy session which solidified our bond. We are two million percent comfortable with each other and zero facades. 

It’s no wonder. Being the information nerds that we both are, we geeked out over a podcast that explained the therapeutic value of talking while running. There are actual therapy practices built around this concept; of course we feel amazing after having run together.

In 2019 we took to the next level, running the Lean Horse 20 miler side by side. We then formed a Ragnar team that fall, dragging our husbands into our special flavor of crazy, and had the best weekend on some amazing trails in Wisconsin.

BRF IN JEOPARDY

Christine: During the pandemic, when I learned we were moving from southeastern South Dakota to northwestern South Dakota, my heart sank. Besides moving away from family, I was deeply saddened at the thought of no more regular runs with Heather. Our friendship thrived on long distance running, but could it handle simple long distance?

Heather: We spent months in denial and shed plenty of tears. Even though Christine is now a six-hour drive away, we’re as close as ever.

But it doesn’t come without effort.

MAINTAINING A LONG-DISTANCE BRF: TIPS FROM THE SOUTH DAKOTAN PROS

1. Plan all the races together, with all manner of irrational decision making welcome. 

[text conversations]

Heather: Want to run across the state of Tennessee (1035K) in the four hottest months of the year? 

Christine: Sounds crazy. Send me the link!

Heather: Want to run the Yeti Challenge to get to 50K: 5ish miles every 4 hours for 24 hours?

Christine: Oh! The medal is cute! Send me the link!

Christine: Help! I need someone to help me get through a 20-mile training run.

Heather: I’m not at all prepared, but why not? I’ll run beside you until I cannot.

2. Be honest about missing your best running friend.

Heather: One thing that I appreciate about our relationship is that we can both be honest and vulnerable with each other about how much we love each other. Lots of emojis, lots of warmth, and yes, a little cheese. When you’re far away from each other, a virtual SWAK can ease your heart.

3. Prioritize all kinds of connection.

Christine: We call each other during long runs and chat using our bluetooth headphones. And nearly every time I travel back to Sioux Falls, we make it a point to connect for a run, coffee, dinner or even just a quick in-person chat. 

4. Try something new together.

Christine: Last summer amidst the pandemic, we both found ourselves feeling a little fluffier than we were comfortable with (#twinning in all the ways). After many chats, we decided to pull the trigger on joining a nutrition program. We celebrate each other’s victories and commiserate over the lows. It has been a fun new challenge like taking on the next race distance together yet again.

5. Bond over all the running gear.

Heather: Who doesn’t love running candy—our shared phrase for running nutrition like Gu—and running clothes? We are constantly sharing info for gear sales, chatting about styles, and taste-testing snacks.

I love it when she texts me pics of her new favorite shorts or gives a new flavor five stars–then I know I’ll love them too.

Twinning across the state of South Dakota!

 

Thankfully, the connection of BRFs are not easily broken. The move made us both nervous we would lose a part of our friendship, but the miles together have built a solid foundation that distance cannot break. To say we’re sole/soul sisters is exactly right.

What are your tips for keeping up with long-distance Best Running Friends? Lay ’em on us!